Confidence and Success > How to Build Confidence

"How women really feel about bald men"

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BlackDogBrewing:
I really do love being bald...
It is much nicer to have a woman admire my hazel eyes than look at my ridiculous hairline.  I really am more confident being bald, could never find a hairstyle that suited me.  Headrubs are always appreciated, too.

gunngee:
Hmm I must be fortunate. I have never had a woman turn her nose up at me because I was bald I've always had the opposite problem. I have had random women that I have never met before come up to me and ask they could feel my head...  :D :D
Now I can't do that as I am married but I still notice a lot of women checking me out.

vsG734:
"It's just hair." She said to me one day after I felt defeated. I know now after several years that instead of my reply to her: "It's more than that, it's confidence," I should have instead said "It's more than that, it's respect." She left me soon after I shaved it all off. I still don't know if it was my reaction to peoples' disgust with me that turned her off, or me myself and my damn head.

I was brand new to having people stare at me for longer than a second. People stare at me like I just fell out of a UFO. Maybe that's what they see when they look at me. It's not what I see. It's not how I viewed bald men before it happened to me. That's just who I am, though.

If there was ever an advocate for people getting respect that maybe look a little different, it's me. Before this happened to me, I remember in 3rd grade when I was at a bus stop, and people were picking on a kid very hard and bullying him because he wore glasses. This was back when it wasn't cool to wear glasses. Wouldn't you just know it, those same glasses, and his hairstyle are considered in-fashion now. I wished at the time, watching him get bullied, that I could pick each one of his tormenters up something like Will Smith did in the movie Hancock, except I wouldn't catch them on the way down. It hurt me that much to see someone else getting picked on when I could do nothing, and now it's my life, and I can do nothing. People have taken everything from me, and I've even been threatened at my job on numerous occasions. I've faced bullying at a couple of my jobs- well no actually, all of them.

First they took my self-esteem. Then my self-respect. Then when I get angry, my friends disappeared. I went into hiding. Then they tell me it's not a handicap. After they take my dignity and my self worth with their humiliation and comments from different angles. They won't allow me to be sad, or happy. I have to tow the line. It's to the point where if someone looks at me crossways, I want to knock them out. You can't do that or you go to jail. I'm a mental prisoner out of prison. Luckily, the condition doesn't strike everyone the same way. Some of you have families and friends, and you smile. I wish I was as fortunate. I wish my skin was ever-so-thick, and my feelings were ever-so-numb, and I wish I hadn't ditched my ego from the get-go. With all the egos I compete with- some of them downright grotesque and obnoxious, I wish I had it back. It is the hardest thing to get back.

Sure, I could negate what I am force fed- if I want to look for a different job and quit my career. I could also say goodbye to what little semblance of "friends" I have.

Sir Harry:
VSG....I'm so sorry that you life took a turn like this.....Back in my younger days, I was the "nerd" that got picked on a lot, but in my case, being bald has actually helped me deal with people....I think you are a good person and as for the woman who left you after you shaved your head, it's her loss....While these people fuxxing with you is not right, my combat counselor told me a statement that sticks in my head and I think about this whenever my ex-wife or her family comes at me with unwarranted B.S. "NO ONE CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION!" Didn't mean to put that in all caps, but people in general will do to us what we allow them to do....That said, I pray that one day you find your epiphany like I found mine which was "There is only one me, and that is the person who I am going to conform to, others be damned!" Stay strong, and if you want to talk about this one on one, PM me. Good Luck!

vsG734:
Really appreciate you. Every bit of wisdom helps. Thanks a lot.

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