Hey Guys I just wanted to check in and say I'll be back around the boards. I recently had to do a stint of time (36 Days) in County. It was in a way a really good thing that happend to me. It took me out of the way I was living and gave me alot of time to think about what I was doing with my life.
One of the topics that was still on my mind just lingering on for whatever reason was the being bald thing. Ya it seemed wierd to me to, here I am shaving my head and 4 months later still thinking about it. And while I was there I came to realize that they reason it was still on my mind and still gave me concern was that I had never fully accepted it. While taking the razor to the dome may have got rid of the problem it didnt get rid of the root cause. The problem all along even before going bald was me being harder on my self than I ever needed to be. An I remember laying there one day and thinking about how all I do is think about things I don't like and things that I wish were different. An I thought to myself how does this help me? How does this change any of these things I don't like? What if one day im 50 years old and still laying somewhere being swallowed by my self conscious. I needed to quit hard timing my life, and start enjoying it, because it was the only one I got.
An than I rememberd a user on here (who wished to be unnamed) told me to look in the mirror and look at the things I like about myself and tell myself I'm a good looking, funny, smart, easy going guy. An I did that every day and slowly and surely took myself away from the thoughts of my cynical mind and started living in the real world. An you know what my days have been better than ever. I'm told how much happier I seem and I really do feel it. An I really do believe people now when they tell me I look good. I no longer compare the world of people with hair vs. me... I know that sounds ridiculous, but my mind really worked that way.
I no longer live in this self pity stage that for whatever reason took me so long to get out of. An I finally feel "normal" again. I feel happier than I have in a long time because me shaving my head used to be the only thing on my mind and how people viewed me, but now it hardly crosses my mind. My mind now is able to focus on actual important things in my life. I'm going to a school in Janruary, to be a computer technican and than specialize in systems administration or network security. And im getting a job and getting a new car... things are starting to go alot better in my life, and the way I view my life is leagues beyond what it was even a month ago. Well this was long so I'ma quit now... see everyone on the boards.
