Just took the plunge after 10 years of living a lie

[Jack21]

I have....sorry...used to have very curly hair. This can cause very bad ingrown hairs when you shave against the grain. In the army I had to shave against the grain and the bumps under my neck got a little better over the years but never went away. It took about a month for all the bumps to finally go away. I really want a smooth, slick scalp but I don't think thats in the cards for me. I really don't want a scalp covered in big red bumps. I'll give it a shot when I next have some vacation time. For now I'm just going to do the best that I can.

I will say that at first I did not shave my head against the grain either. When I first stared shaving my face I would go with the grain on my face then on my neck against the grain and after a while I had to stop going against the grain on my neck and was able to go against the grain on my face. I have to say I think it took me a week or two to start going against the grain but I would not have it any other way. It gets super smooth and I have not had any problems with ingrown hairs so maybe you should try it but that is up to you.

[Baldman]

Oh shoot I did not know that. Well then yea that is the best you can do and you really do not have to do that. Yea that kind of changes it, hopefully later you will be able to but not for now. What kind of razor were you using at the time?

[Troy]

Jack, it's been great to read your posts today.  I never went the hairpiece route but I can imagine how fantastic it must have felt to toss it today.  Great idea to ditch it and look forward instead of back.  As a relatively new - almost 6 months now - headshaver myself, I salute you for taking the risk and getting a whole new outlook on appearances.  Enjoy it man, it's a great feeling! 

[Jack21]

Troy, thanks a lot man. I really appreciate that. Its been a rough couple of days, but I refuse to ever go back to a toupee or putting junk in my hair. As long as I was a fake I could never truly be self confident. Now I me an ugly SOB but at least I am the real me. Thanks again, bro.

Jack, it's been great to read your posts today.  I never went the hairpiece route but I can imagine how fantastic it must have felt to toss it today.  Great idea to ditch it and look forward instead of back.  As a relatively new - almost 6 months now - headshaver myself, I salute you for taking the risk and getting a whole new outlook on appearances.  Enjoy it man, it's a great feeling! 

[schro]

Jack, first off, welcome and congrats on your decision.
As a teacher, I think your choice to ditch the rug can set as an example to your students.
Be comfortable in your own skin (literally), be proud of who you are, and if people are unaccepting of your appearance (which is BS), it's their loss, not yours.

Rock On!
Schro

[Jack21]

What's odd is that my fellow female teachers have made a much bigger deal about it than my students. Obviously the kids are still trying to adjust to the change and because they're young change can be very unsettling so I understand. I am having a harder time understanding why my coworkers, adults who should have some tact, are saying such horrible things. I mean when someone says "Why on earth would you do that to yourself? Did you lose your mind?" how can you really respond? I am just telling myself that with the passage of time people will get used to it - maybe more like 60 or 90 days in my case rather than 30 - but they'll get used to it.

Jack, first off, welcome and congrats on your decision.
As a teacher, I think your choice to ditch the rug can set as an example to your students.
Be comfortable in your own skin (literally), be proud of who you are, and if people are unaccepting of your appearance (which is BS), it's their loss, not yours.

Rock On!
Schro

[Rob-Raz]

"Why on earth would you do that to yourself? Did you lose your mind?" how can you really respond?"

I would respond with...."No I lost my mind when I spent tons of money on some fake hair to pretend I'm something I'm not."

A lot of the negativity you are getting is because people hate change. Anything around them that disrupts the norm is uncomfortable. Along with that is the jealousy factor. Almost everyone has something about themselves they want to change (lose weight, stop smoking, etc.), yet most do nothing. The fact that you took charge and did something causes a bit of envy.
They resent the fact you did something they don't have the guts to do.

It looks great on you man and it sounds like you love it already, so don't let anyone tell you different. Congratulations.

BTW...what ages do you teach? This really could be a great teaching moment regarding the lengths people will go to in order to "fit in" and how silly it is.

[Jack21]

Rob,

Thanks for the feedback. I understand what you are saying about change and the reaction of people to it. I think that this holds especially true for kids (I teach ages 15-18) who are still trying to establish an identity for themselves. Its actually quite pathetic the lengths to which I went to "fit in" and feel like I looked presentable or appropriate. It took control of my whole life. I loved shaving my head when I was in my late teens and early twenties and despite the fact that people close to me were telling me that I looked frightening or intimidating or just plain bad, I really didn't care and kept doing it. I shaved my head right before college graduation. My father was furious at me. I just laughed. I was so confident back then and for almost the next ten years. Somewhere along the way enough people said enough negative things to the point that I felt that balding was ugly and shaving my head was just unacceptable. This is the first place ever since the army that I have gotten any support. It is very much appreciated.

"Why on earth would you do that to yourself? Did you lose your mind?" how can you really respond?"

I would respond with...."No I lost my mind when I spent tons of money on some fake hair to pretend I'm something I'm not."

A lot of the negativity you are getting is because people hate change. Anything around them that disrupts the norm is uncomfortable. Along with that is the jealousy factor. Almost everyone has something about themselves they want to change (lose weight, stop smoking, etc.), yet most do nothing. The fact that you took charge and did something causes a bit of envy.
They resent the fact you did something they don't have the guts to do.

It looks great on you man and it sounds like you love it already, so don't let anyone tell you different. Congratulations.

BTW...what ages do you teach? This really could be a great teaching moment regarding the lengths people will go to in order to "fit in" and how silly it is.

[D.A.L.U.I.]

Your colleagues are certainly some of the most rude people I've heard of from any guy on this forum.  Obviously you have the right idea to ignore them--they will ultimately calm down when they see their "opinions" aren't highly regarded or obeyed.  But the age group you teach reminded me of one of the reasons I decided I'd never get stuck w/ a horseshoe--a Spanish teacher who for whatever reason had a bad horseshoe, dressed in a fashion we students found weird, and who had other unfortunate problems.  Someone came up with a nickname, "Harry Toiletseat" and it stuck.  I remembered Harry as I dumped the combover.  But considering the number of young guys who come to this site with real concerns on handling early onset mpb, I think you are probably setting a good example for one or more of the students you come in contact with and for that alone it's worth the effort to brush off the tactless comments.  I did think that if one of the women has the slightest "hint" of a mustache, you might say how good it looks on her.  And if any of the older women are displaying any androgenic hairloss--tell them about the "piece" you no longer use and offer it to them.  Of course you can't do that w/o serious jeopardy for "harassment"  but it's fun to think about. 

[BillOnBass]

I'm not usually one to be too crude or blunt, but RE: your coworkers: 

F--- 'em.

[Jack21]

It has really taken me by surprise. I mean I expected some negative feedback, but not this. I would never in a million years say the kinds of things that people are saying to me. The fact that you still remember your Spanish teacher and his haircut etc. is significant though. It shows just how deep an impression a teacher can make whether positive or negative on his/her students.

Well, all I can do is put one foot in front of the other and keep on moving forward. To be perfectly honest, however, if I had known just how horrendous the reaction would be I would have kept wearing that stupid rug. As uncomfortable and horrible as it was, as much as I loathed and detested it, at least I didn't have to go through this. Being able to weather the occasional joke is one thing. Having to hear a student say that they will be transferring out of my class b/c of the way I look would make even the strongest man's knees buckle a little, and I've been hearing these kinds of things over and over and over for three days now. It has really got me to the point where I do not want to come back tomorrow and have to face another salvo of insults.

This is a very sad commentary on the community in which I work. I had pretty much made up my mind not to return for the next academic year. Now I am definitely leaving - provided I can actually make it that long. I knew this place was comprised of highly superficial people but I never knew that it could ever be THIS bad!

Your colleagues are certainly some of the most rude people I've heard of from any guy on this forum.  Obviously you have the right idea to ignore them--they will ultimately calm down when they see their "opinions" aren't highly regarded or obeyed.  But the age group you teach reminded me of one of the reasons I decided I'd never get stuck w/ a horseshoe--a Spanish teacher who for whatever reason had a bad horseshoe, dressed in a fashion we students found weird, and who had other unfortunate problems.  Someone came up with a nickname, "Harry Toiletseat" and it stuck.  I remembered Harry as I dumped the combover.  But considering the number of young guys who come to this site with real concerns on handling early onset mpb, I think you are probably setting a good example for one or more of the students you come in contact with and for that alone it's worth the effort to brush off the tactless comments.  I did think that if one of the women has the slightest "hint" of a mustache, you might say how good it looks on her.  And if any of the older women are displaying any androgenic hairloss--tell them about the "piece" you no longer use and offer it to them.  Of course you can't do that w/o serious jeopardy for "harassment"  but it's fun to think about. 

[Magoo]

Jack , the sly look do you like it ? It sounds like you do , if so then you just have to ignore these harsh and stupid remarks. Granted it may not be easy but in short time this will stop. You just got to hang in there.

[MikeBrke]

Wow, I am really surprised your coworkers are saying these things because, based on your profile picture, you look like a completely "normal" sly guy.  In other words, if I were to see you on the street I probably wouldn't think twice about the fact that you have a shaved head.

A funny thing happened to me today.  I saw a sly guy that I had a class with a few years ago before I started to lose my hair, and until today, I didn't even realize he was sly! I talked to the guy dozens of times and never once thought "wow, he is balding and shaves his head."  It just goes to show that the VAST majority of people don't even think about our sly heads as much as we do.   

As for your coworkers, I would say that you just have a sour batch of people.  Maybe transferring schools would be good if it is a convenient option; But I definitely wouldn't leave your job based solely on the fact that some people don't like your sly head.  If you started at a new place where people only know you with a shaved head, I guarantee that no one would say a word.

[J.J.]

It has really taken me by surprise. I mean I expected some negative feedback, but not this. I would never in a million years say the kinds of things that people are saying to me.
Well, all I can do is put one foot in front of the other and keep on moving forward.
Having to hear a student say that they will be transferring out of my class b/c of the way I look would make even the strongest man's knees buckle a little, and I've been hearing these kinds of things over and over and over for three days now. It has really got me to the point where I do not want to come back tomorrow and have to face another salvo of insults.

This is a very sad commentary on the community in which I work. I had pretty much made up my mind not to return for the next academic year. Now I am definitely leaving - provided I can actually make it that long. I knew this place was comprised of highly superficial people but I never knew that it could ever be THIS bad!

Jack,

It's easy for me to sit back and give you advice in this situation, but honestly, you have to stand your ground.  These people are clearly intimidating you for no good reason; there is absolutely nothing wrong with your choice of haircut.  You look completely professional.  Judging by your comments over the last few days, it's easy to see that these negative remarks are causing you significant strife.   This constitutes harrassment, IMO, and you are entitled to live your life as you see fit.  These co-workers of yours (presumably educators as well) really need to zip their pieholes, open their narrow minds, and get a life.  And the kid who wants to transfer out of your class?  That's totally ludicrous.  Any administrator who would even entertain that notion, let alone allow a student to transfer classes over a teacher's haircut, is idiotic and setting a precedent that has the potential to explode into utter chaos.

Please don't let these petty people undermine your confidence or make you regret your decision for one millisecond.  Hold your head high and proud.  Shaving your head makes you feel good about yourself.  You have to do what makes YOU happy.  Life is way too short to have it any other way.

j

[chgobuzzbald]

Im curious if you are teaching in some sort of private school or a school out in an isolated ex-urban or suburban area ?  or is it some sort of upscale area with lots of self-absorbed, self-centered people (the other teachers I mean ) ?
I have found that older people and many women, lets say over 45 or 50 just have that generational negativity of a bald man and therefore see it as some sort of unwanted condition  that one would never do intentionally. Plus these people likely were fooled with your rug into believing it was real, thick, fantastic hair to die for that was your pride and joy and also theirs vicariously. Meaning their husbands are likely sporting MPB horseshoe cuts far too long for todays styles and the wives pity their sorry lot and that they are stuck married to a defective bald man (crazy but thats how some people still feel). So of course it does not compute in their minds that a young guy with such great "hair" would actually CHOOSE to be a defective bald man !
I tend to over analyze maybe but you just have to explain you really didnt have this prized hair at all, just an illusion of it (like their hair extensions for example) and it was causing scalp problems so you removed it and shaved what was  naturally left. Then emphasize as MOST MEN DO THESE DAYS. Tell them there are many guys actually shaving off full heads of hair too because it is in style and very comfortable and considered handsome.