women confuse the hell out of me

[Mrs. Meister]

Wow!  You guys are very "in tune" if you don't mind my saying so.

(not sure I'm too crazy about the Robmeister flirting )

But he's naturally a flirt, just because of his good nature and sense of humor (admittedly sick at times )

Back in '90 and '91 when the Robmeister and I worked on the Catalina boats (not married or even dating), I must say that he was very nice and funny, but also "disinterested" and that was so "cool" it was irrisistable.

Dtop, hang in there, hun.  You're probably a good catch.  It's her loss.

[Dtopford]

Thanks Mrs. M
 

[Tyler]

Wow!  You guys are very "in tune" if you don't mind my saying so.

(not sure I'm too crazy about the Robmeister flirting )

But he's naturally a flirt, just because of his good nature and sense of humor (admittedly sick at times )

Back in '90 and '91 when the Robmeister and I worked on the Catalina boats (not married or even dating), I must say that he was very nice and funny, but also "disinterested" and that was so "cool" it was irrisistable.

Dtop, hang in there, hun.  You're probably a good catch.  It's her loss.

Thanks for posting up Mrs M.!!  I think "disinterested" is a better way of putting "unobtainable." 

[blondeguy]

What do they want honstly? Do they know what they want? Does any one know what they want from a man?
I am honestly to the point of saying to hell with women. You hear all they time about how a woman wants a strong reliable guy who treats them well who can be a father friend and lover.

I am just realy confused right now sorry about the rant, but I just got the "just friends" from a woman that I thought I had a real connection with. I know it was the first time I had felt that way about a woman in a long time. So to hell with them.

A lot of good feedback here.  I'll add my experience to the mix, because I also got the "just friends" routine from someone I was in it really deep for, and it was painful.  The friendship still hasn't recovered.  After some reflection, I realized what I had done that placed me in her friend zone.

1.)  I wasn't upfront with her about my wants from the start.  I wanted a relationship, not a friendship.  Only after it's clear she's not the one for me should I consider her a friend.  I'm always clear about which path I want to take now.

2.)  I became her "girlfriend"--e.g., watching the same TV shows, listening to her love life, etc.  Once she starts telling you her love life troubles, it's over.  Common interests are good, but I make sure to have differing interests and a life of my own.  She should want to visit my world.

3.)  I didn't make myself unobtainable.  It's counterintuitive, but the less available you make yourself, and the less you act interested--while keeping up the flirting (this is important)--the more attracted she'll be.  You should ration yourself out like a reward, because you're the sh*t.

Once I told myself all those things, I changed how I approach women (and life in general).  I'll always regret losing out on the one.  She was really something.  But it got me to change my attitude.

[Dtopford]

Thanks Blonde for whatever reason those statements of your make a lot of sense to me. I realy think that my case with this woman is very similar. We had a lot of things in common and I think I just was to open to her about how I was feeling twards her.

I have never been the player and I have always hated the game with a passion. When I start to get into someone I am generaly straight forward and direct and I think this causes them to panic and hit the friend button. (IE: EJECT EJECT EJECT!!!!)

Once again thanks for the inputs guys.

[blondeguy]

I have never been the player and I have always hated the game with a passion. When I start to get into someone I am generaly straight forward and direct and I think this causes them to panic and hit the friend button. (IE: EJECT EJECT EJECT!!!!)

I used to give it all up, too, trying to befriend them and thinking telling them everything I feel will make them attracted to me.  It was crazy, I even wrote poetry!  But attraction isn't a choice.  It's more effective--and more fun--to be flirty and play some hard-to-get.  That gets them attracted. 

[Dtopford]

Bahh games LOL

[Kajun]

dtop...do you think it had anything to do with the shaved head? what was her reaction to it?

[Dtopford]

no I think it was the fact that I didn't hold back when I started realy likeing her I flat out told her and thats when she started to lose intrest I think.

But like I said before I hate the game if you like a person then you tell them you don't act all indifferent. At least thats what I have always thought.

Although tonight she called me up wanting to talk. I told her I was busy and was going out. I don't know if this is right or wrong but I haven't realy talked to her at all since she hit the friends eject button.

[PigPen]

This is my individual experience, and may not work for everyone.
Now that the disclaimer is out of the way......I've been married six years at the end of this month. I still don't understand and probably never will. I can be rather stubborn, and a bit of an a-hole at times. I admit this, and don't really care otherwise most times. This will usually get me in trouble, but oh well. I tell her that's who I am. So just be yourself, I think you did the right thing when she called and you told her you were goin out. Presenting yourself as "hard to get" will help.

[schro]

no I think it was the fact that I didn't hold back when I started realy likeing her I flat out told her and thats when she started to lose intrest I think.

But like I said before I hate the game if you like a person then you tell them you don't act all indifferent. At least thats what I have always thought.

Although tonight she called me up wanting to talk. I told her I was busy and was going out. I don't know if this is right or wrong but I haven't realy talked to her at all since she hit the friends eject button.

That was the right move. If she wants a "beckon call" boy, she can go get a dog.

[blondeguy]

Although tonight she called me up wanting to talk. I told her I was busy and was going out. I don't know if this is right or wrong but I haven't realy talked to her at all since she hit the friends eject button.

It's right, in my opinion, just as schro said.  You've got a life of your own.

I know you hate the game, but you're already playing it, see.

[Dtopford]

yea yea I know shame on me

[tomgallagher]

Once you hit that "Eject " button there ain't no going back.

[Dtopford]

"Once you hit that "Eject " button there ain't no going back"

To true we will see though I am not sure but I think her friends and what not are going to bat for me. We knew each other long enough to get to know some of her friends and family.