women confuse the hell out of me

[wpruitt]

Hey bro I'll post up when I get home...I've got an answer for you.

And apparently Tyler never made it home!

[Tyler]

Wow, I finally get home to find out that everyone has been waiting for me.   

It will take some time, but I'll get my post up here before I go to bed.

[Tyler]

Do they know what they want?

Yes and no.  Internally, subconsciously they know what they want, but they could never tell you, because consciously, they don't know.  The good thing is, they know when the thing they want is right in front of them.

Does any one know what they want from a man?

That's a tough question.  Are you asking about right now? Or tomorrow? Or in five years?

What do they want honstly?

Everything you want.  They just want it delivered to them differently.

I am honestly to the point of saying to hell with women...So to hell with them.

That's about the best thing you could say in your situation.  The more you say that, the more they'll want you.

Ok, so enough of the short answers to your questions.  I did answer your questions honestly and there's a lot of truth in my answers, but to help you out more, I'll elaborate.  (MBabe, Kori, and HotKajun, feel free to correct me if you think I'm wrong)

Women, at first, want what they can't have (Just like us dudes).  I can honestly say that every woman that I've ever had a relationship with that went beyond friends happened because at one point I was unobtainable in their mind - which made me desirable.  This includes my wife.

Once you "let" the woman have what they thought they couldn't have, you have to make it worth the effort she went through to get it - meaning you have to continue to be exciting and fun to her - and at the same time make her feel that you could decide to take all the fun and excitement away from her at any moment.  So, in short, she wants a chase.  Which in her mind equals, passion and romance.  In your mind it equals B.S.

Then, eventually she gets tired of the chase and desires security.  This is evident when she starts introducing you to family and talking about engagement rings.  Though, she still wants passion and romance (aka drama) in her life, so a little chase is still required, but she'll do what she can to start reeling you in closer.

After that, it's marriage, and well, I'm still new at that, so I'm going to hand that subject over to some of the other guys here.

The problem that most guys have is that they try to jump from the "hey we just hooked up" stage to the "I'm going to spend everyday with you this week" phase.  I know, I did this several times and they always ended in "let's just be friends" conversations.  When you do this, you take the excitement out of it for the woman and you look too eager.  Instead, by playing the game (intentional or not) of keeping her at a distance, it shows that you have confidence, that you have a life outside of her, and it makes her scared of losing you.

So, that's my answer to your questions.  Hope this helps!



P.S. It's funny you ask this question today (well, I guess it was technically yesterday since it's 2 am) because I was doing some research on Neil Strauss after Blondeguy posted about him.  What I found is that he spent two years learning and perfecting the craft of a pick up artist - someone who can easily meet and hookup with women.  After two years, he decided to write a book called, The Game: Penetrating The Secret Society Of Pickup Artists, which I bought today (right before I saw that you posted this).  I read the first five chapters tonight and will do a review of the book here at SBG when I'm done with it, but I recommend you go buy it.

[Robmeister]

WHOA!!

Shall we Call you "Hitch"?

[Robmeister]

My experience bears out much of what Tyler outlines, man.

However--and I don't know where it fits in to the "want what they 'can't' have" thing--there is a level at which women like to see some level of persistance in pursuing them.  But that's a fine art because you have to at the same time maintain that "I'm my own man" confidence as Tyler mentioned.  In the "pursuit" if you cross over to "clingy," you've lost it.

In a sense it has to be natural while being at certain levels contrived.  In other words, you MUST be yourself, while knowing a few things NOT to do/say as well as the things TO do/say.

It's a balancing act, man.  In the "I'm my own man" thing, if you become another "macho sh** head," then the pedulum has swung way outa balance....there needs to be a certain amount of unselfish, caring, sensitivity.

If the pedulum swings outa balance to the other side and yer 100% unselfish, caring and sensitive.....chances are that the woman has plenty of girlfriends to foot that bill.

I have to say....I don't miss being single.

[schro]

RobMeister, you hit it right on the head. The balancing act analogy is dead on in the pursuit of a significant other. When you get married (especially when you have children) the balancing act shifts to more a balancing act of time.

[Dtopford]

Thanks for the inputs guys I have to get ready to take off fo rthe day but will be back later tonight.

[Tyler]

WHOA!!

Shall we Call you "Hitch"?

LOL!  It took a lot of rejection to get to learn what I've learned.

You're right on with the balancing act.  The funny thing is, it really is a game.  We don't want to admit it, because it sucks to think of it in that light, but if you look at it as a game, it's easier to handle the rejection and learn from it.

[Tyler]

Oh, one more thing.  Women don't want an "ordinary" guy.  They want you to stand out in their mind. 

[BaldRob]

Well, Tyler pretty much hit it on the head... I'm going to add a few things to what he said...

First, a man must have confidence... But the confidence must not cross over to arrogance.  Confidence = good... arrogance = bad

Second, since most women get hit on a lot, you need to do things that make you stand out... the shaved head is a good start!  But what's going to make her remember you from every other guys out there and everything listed below will also help build your confidence.  A lot of this type of stuff is scattered throughout various topics on this forum:
1.  Get in shape (and not round)... you don't have to have a 6 pack and huge arms, just trim down and keep your self up.
2.  Dress accordingly... if the <insert place you go to meet women> is a jeans and t-shirt kind of place, step it up a notch and wear a stylish button down and some nicer jeans.
3. Smell fantastic!!  Guess what sports fans... you walk into somewhere smelling like BO, you're going to get the type of attention you deserve!  The sense of smell is a HUGE part of attraction!!  Be clean before you go out anywhere... Try some Axe or Tag body sprays... Get a couple different types of good cologne so your "scent" isn't always the same...
4.  Crack them up!  What's a woman going to remember?  Someone who idly chitchats with them, or someone who makes them laugh...  And believe me, you can bust on them too!

And the third point, is don't be a wussbag (aka desperate) when it comes to women... you need to be confident from the moment you lay eyes on them.  How many guys do you know that will look at a woman until she looks back and then drop their gaze?  Hold that eye contact for a few extra seconds... If you think that a woman is "out of your league", your body language is going to show that when and if you walk up to her, and she's going to dismiss you like you were yesterday's day old mayonaisse sandwich!  A lot of men think women need to be put on a pedestal, which is absolutely not the case.  Once a man does that, most women will automatically place him in the "friends" category because there is no spark or challenge anymore.  This does not mean you can be a jerk to them, it just means that you always keep them on equal footing with you.  It keeps is spicy, because she'll know that you won't let her walk all over you...

One big thing that all men need to remember is that once the dating/relationship starts is do not change who you are... once you "change" from who you are, the initial attraction on her part will start to fade... and once that attraction is gone, it's all over but the crying!

And yes, to agree with some other points made early in this thread, meeting women is truly a numbers game, BUT it is also a numbers game for women meeting men...  Get your confidence up and start talking to women in many different places... i.e., bars, bookstores, banks, grocery stores, etc.  The more easily you can talk to a woman in a bank line will carry over to other situations as well.

EDIT:  And don't take rejections personally... get over it and move on!!!

[Dtopford]

I hear ya Rob. I don't realy have any trouble on the talking to women part or the dressing sharp part. (lol outgrew that crap a while ago). I know that everything you guys said is a truth. I also know that what I am feeling right now is just sour grapes because of the way this last relationship turned out.

I realy do appreaciate the feed back and it's good to have you guys to talk to when ya want to go back to the fore mentioned bat method LOL.

So take it easy guys and we will see where this goes.

[BaldRob]

I hear ya Rob. I don't realy have any trouble on the talking to women part or the dressing sharp part. (lol outgrew that crap a while ago). I know that everything you guys said is a truth. I also know that what I am feeling right now is just sour grapes because of the way this last relationship turned out.

I realy do appreaciate the feed back and it's good to have you guys to talk to when ya want to go back to the fore mentioned bat method LOL.

So take it easy guys and we will see where this goes.

Good Luck!!

[Robmeister]

Way to go men!!!

This is turning out to be not necessarily for Dtop only....but for all of us...particularly the single dudes.

As a married man I don't much care about the END result....but I do like to flirt occasionally......so Rob's advice on fitness, grooming, dressing, hygiene and sense of humor is EXTREMELY relevant.

I never "hit on" women...but occasionally find myself in their company.....And if the "want what they can't have" thing kicks in.....it will simply be a disappointment for them....'cause the wedding ring says, "Sorry, sista....flirting is all yer gonna get."

But watch out married guys....if ya get a hottie that won't settle for stopping at the wedding ring and gets her mind set on "conquering".....it's time to do the "Joseph"....and head for the exit (Genesis 39:11-12).

[Kajun]

and of course if all else fails..there is always the old fashion way 

[Dtopford]

ROFL Kajun ohh how I miss the good old days but doubt she would shave her leggs LOL.