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#30 by Mrs. Meister on 09 Apr, 2007 13:02
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Wow! You guys are very "in tune" if you don't mind my saying so.
(not sure I'm too crazy about the Robmeister flirting
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But he's naturally a flirt, just because of his good nature and sense of humor (admittedly sick at times
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Back in '90 and '91 when the Robmeister and I worked on the Catalina boats (not married or even dating), I must say that he was very nice and funny, but also "disinterested" and that was so "cool" it was irrisistable.
Dtop, hang in there, hun. You're probably a good catch. It's her loss. -
#31 by Dtopford on 09 Apr, 2007 13:07
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Thanks Mrs. M
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#32 by Tyler on 09 Apr, 2007 13:18
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Wow! You guys are very "in tune" if you don't mind my saying so.
(not sure I'm too crazy about the Robmeister flirting)
But he's naturally a flirt, just because of his good nature and sense of humor (admittedly sick at times)
Back in '90 and '91 when the Robmeister and I worked on the Catalina boats (not married or even dating), I must say that he was very nice and funny, but also "disinterested" and that was so "cool" it was irrisistable.
Dtop, hang in there, hun. You're probably a good catch. It's her loss.
Thanks for posting up Mrs M.!! I think "disinterested" is a better way of putting "unobtainable." -
#33 by blondeguy on 09 Apr, 2007 14:33
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What do they want honstly? Do they know what they want? Does any one know what they want from a man?
I am honestly to the point of saying to hell with women. You hear all they time about how a woman wants a strong reliable guy who treats them well who can be a father friend and lover.
I am just realy confused right now sorry about the rant, but I just got the "just friends" from a woman that I thought I had a real connection with. I know it was the first time I had felt that way about a woman in a long time. So to hell with them.
A lot of good feedback here. I'll add my experience to the mix, because I also got the "just friends" routine from someone I was in it really deep for, and it was painful. The friendship still hasn't recovered. After some reflection, I realized what I had done that placed me in her friend zone.
1.) I wasn't upfront with her about my wants from the start. I wanted a relationship, not a friendship. Only after it's clear she's not the one for me should I consider her a friend. I'm always clear about which path I want to take now.
2.) I became her "girlfriend"--e.g., watching the same TV shows, listening to her love life, etc. Once she starts telling you her love life troubles, it's over. Common interests are good, but I make sure to have differing interests and a life of my own. She should want to visit my world.
3.) I didn't make myself unobtainable. It's counterintuitive, but the less available you make yourself, and the less you act interested--while keeping up the flirting (this is important)--the more attracted she'll be. You should ration yourself out like a reward, because you're the sh*t.
Once I told myself all those things, I changed how I approach women (and life in general). I'll always regret losing out on the one. She was really something. But it got me to change my attitude. -
#34 by Dtopford on 09 Apr, 2007 15:17
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Thanks Blonde for whatever reason those statements of your make a lot of sense to me. I realy think that my case with this woman is very similar. We had a lot of things in common and I think I just was to open to her about how I was feeling twards her.
I have never been the player and I have always hated the game with a passion. When I start to get into someone I am generaly straight forward and direct and I think this causes them to panic and hit the friend button. (IE: EJECT EJECT EJECT!!!!)
Once again thanks for the inputs guys. -
#35 by blondeguy on 09 Apr, 2007 18:56
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I have never been the player and I have always hated the game with a passion. When I start to get into someone I am generaly straight forward and direct and I think this causes them to panic and hit the friend button. (IE: EJECT EJECT EJECT!!!!)
I used to give it all up, too, trying to befriend them and thinking telling them everything I feel will make them attracted to me. It was crazy, I even wrote poetry! But attraction isn't a choice. It's more effective--and more fun--to be flirty and play some hard-to-get. That gets them attracted.
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#36 by Dtopford on 09 Apr, 2007 22:18
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Bahh games LOL
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#37 by Kajun on 09 Apr, 2007 22:49
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dtop...do you think it had anything to do with the shaved head? what was her reaction to it?
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#38 by Dtopford on 09 Apr, 2007 23:09
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no I think it was the fact that I didn't hold back when I started realy likeing her I flat out told her and thats when she started to lose intrest I think.
But like I said before I hate the game if you like a person then you tell them you don't act all indifferent. At least thats what I have always thought.
Although tonight she called me up wanting to talk. I told her I was busy and was going out. I don't know if this is right or wrong but I haven't realy talked to her at all since she hit the friends eject button.
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#39 by PigPen on 10 Apr, 2007 07:23
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This is my individual experience, and may not work for everyone.
Now that the disclaimer is out of the way......I've been married six years at the end of this month. I still don't understand and probably never will. I can be rather stubborn, and a bit of an a-hole at times. I admit this, and don't really care otherwise most times. This will usually get me in trouble, but oh well. I tell her that's who I am. So just be yourself, I think you did the right thing when she called and you told her you were goin out. Presenting yourself as "hard to get" will help. -
#40 by schro on 10 Apr, 2007 08:08
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no I think it was the fact that I didn't hold back when I started realy likeing her I flat out told her and thats when she started to lose intrest I think.
But like I said before I hate the game if you like a person then you tell them you don't act all indifferent. At least thats what I have always thought.
Although tonight she called me up wanting to talk. I told her I was busy and was going out. I don't know if this is right or wrong but I haven't realy talked to her at all since she hit the friends eject button.
That was the right move. If she wants a "beckon call" boy, she can go get a dog. -
#41 by blondeguy on 10 Apr, 2007 09:50
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Although tonight she called me up wanting to talk. I told her I was busy and was going out. I don't know if this is right or wrong but I haven't realy talked to her at all since she hit the friends eject button.
It's right, in my opinion, just as schro said. You've got a life of your own.
I know you hate the game, but you're already playing it, see.
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#42 by Dtopford on 10 Apr, 2007 10:39
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yea yea I know shame on me
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#43 by tomgallagher on 10 Apr, 2007 13:50
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Once you hit that "Eject " button there ain't no going back.
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#44 by Dtopford on 10 Apr, 2007 15:59
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"Once you hit that "Eject " button there ain't no going back"
To true we will see though I am not sure but I think her friends and what not are going to bat for me. We knew each other long enough to get to know some of her friends and family.