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New to board, and Im sorry by gabagool on 31 Aug, 2010 07:44
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Hi
Im new to this board. And I want to start with an apoligy. I was told by another poster that I should have introduced myself BEFORE I posted, but, as usual I never read the guidelines. So for that, I am sorry. Let me introduce myself.
Im 50. The drama associated with hair loss has passed. Im married, own a few businesses, and I am fairly content with life. However, because of my obsession with my hair, I ALLOWED 30 years of life; precious, fleeting life, to just pass me by. I began losing my hair as a sophomore in high school. I was barely 15. Now, at whatever age you begin to lose your hair, it sucks. But, I believe, that when someone begins to lose their hair basically AS A CHILD, I think that is as close as a man can come to the devestation WOMEN feel in going bald. I guess its because its JUST NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN at that age or to that sex. I was tramatized.
As I stated in some posts, and I did and WILL catch crap about this, I felt sorry for myself.....which to me, is fine.....however, I CONTINUED to do so for three effin decades. THAT is where I screwed up.
When I see guys today losing their hair, usually one thought comes to mind. And its NOT to say that going bald isn't a big deal anymore, Ive just seen society change over these years. I've been HYPER SENSITIVE to the subject of hair and baldness and I've noticed that TODAY, as hideous as it still is, being bald is a bit more excepted. In the 70's shaving your head WAS REALLY OUT THERE. I mean, today, you see a guy with a shaved head and you think nothing of it, but 40 years ago, my God, a guy with a shaved head was psycho or something.
So, today, with shaving, and drugs and better replacement stuff, you have some choices.
Lets see, I live in NE. I started dating my wife in college, while I was balding (I will always treasure the fact that this wonderful woman overlooked that ugly ass head of mine. But you know what? WONDERFUL WOMEN WILL USUALLY not care too much if you are bald.) And think about this. It has only been in these last 10 years that I even EVER MENTIONED my hairloss to her, and she's NEVER mentioned it to me, until recently.
I really allowed this crap to mess me up. If I had one piece of advice it would be this.
Look at this flaw as a REASON for bettering yourself. Improve on your look. Get in shape, whiten your teeth, catch some rays, buy nice fit clothes. Improve your mind. Get an education , I mean ACE your college classes, graduate high up in rank. Read, read, read. Enlighten yourself. Travel, get to know the world and its people. Get into your religion, theres a reason why 99% of the people on earth believe in a diety. Develop a sense of humor, it goes a long way. So, you may be bald, but you will be fit, funny, smart, stylish and humble. You WILL NOT have many lonely saturday nights. -
#1 by D.A.L.U.I. on 31 Aug, 2010 08:27
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Nice intro. You will be able to learn a lot here, about other guys facing mpb, and most importantly of all learning it isn't a defect, fault or flaw or an "ugly ass head"(OMG you're tough on yourself--lighten up a little, no lighten up a lot---), it's just a genetic trait--plain and simple. It's behind you, you're in control and you don't have to be mad anymore.
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#2 by pdxtodd on 31 Aug, 2010 08:34
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Welcome to the group! You experienced what many of us have - decades of time wasted on worrying about something as silly and insignificant as hair. Hopefully your post will help younger guys who are in a similar situation take the step towards freedom.
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#3 by Rob-Raz on 31 Aug, 2010 08:35
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Was just about to say something similar Saint. Not all of us see ourselves as "flawed"....i'm just bald! Just like i'm 5' 11", have green eyes, flat feet.....its what makes me who I am. I do understand that maybe when you came up...this was more traumatic for you....and sorry you had to go through such an ordeal. This site is about just that....making the best with what you have (or don't have
) so we welcome any positive insight you may have from your experiences.
Welcome to SBG!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
#4 by kenny57028 on 31 Aug, 2010 09:13
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Hey man welcome to the site. I was one of the young one's being only 17 and a kid behind me goes "Hey your going bald!" Which led to a much traumatic year until I found this site. I agree with you that it shouldn't happen at this age, but its not unheard of. A friend of mine is going bald and I know some other kids going bald. Well I hope you join in on the conversations on this site so the next time a 15 year old comes on you can tell him, that its not the end even if it feels like it.
Nobody asked for life to deal us
With these bullshit hands we're dealt
We gotta take these cards ourselves
And flip 'em, don't expect no help
Now I could've either just sat on my ass
And pissed and moaned
Or take this situation in which I'm placed in
And get up and get my own -
#5 by Timmer on 31 Aug, 2010 09:24
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Welcome.
No blood, no foul.
As a retired military guy, I just haven't really noticed all that much of a difference over bald and extreme short over the years. Then again, my MPB didn't really show up until I hit my mid-40s. I could still "strategically comb" but...I actually prefer it like this. Low maintenance, low drag, high visibility. I can wear hats without getting hat-head. It's all good.
"There's no normal life, Wyatt, it's just life. Get on with it." Doc Holiday~Tombstone
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#6 by Mikekoz13 on 31 Aug, 2010 09:44
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Now THAT is one Hell of an Intro. Very nice GG!
Props to you for the apology.
We all have flaws my Friend........ fortunately for me, being bald is the only "flaw" I have and I love my "flaw".
Like PDXTODD, I think you probably have an incredible amount of thing to say that will help many. Just the fact that you realized losing your hair bothered you for 30 years and then you said "F" it should be a lesson to many.
Nice to have you on Board.........
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#7 by SBG Math Guy on 31 Aug, 2010 09:49
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welcome to SBG
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#8 by Tyler on 31 Aug, 2010 10:50
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gababool, thanks for joining SBG! I think your testimony will be able to help a lot of young guys that come to this site for advice.
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#9 by Kojak on 31 Aug, 2010 11:16
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Welcome. IMHO you helped to add balance to the "I'm just being honest....being young and bald is terrible!!" thread, and there was starting to become a bit of a mob mentality going on there, which I was a bit a part of.
I'm 45 and I know exactly what you mean by hair being very much apart of style back then, not just hair but really big hair. I had plenty of it and I was quite stylish.
I have only been dealing with hair loss for the last 10 years and it has been a slow loss. My hair loss is mainly on the crown of my head and I would not see it when grooming, if people did not point it out and there was no security cameras I wouldn't know I had any hair loss. With that being said, I can only imagine how you must have struggled with your loss. I'm glad you came out of it ok and you seem to be a more balanced person because of it!
Again welcome and enjoy your time here. -
#10 by ozzie on 31 Aug, 2010 11:34
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Welcome to the forum. Glad you could join us!
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#11 by Noodles on 31 Aug, 2010 13:15
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As we look back on our younger days and reflect on what we did, what we wore, the way we looked, etc, the majority of what we thought was a "big deal" to us way back then seems trivial today. Back then, we felt "pressured by society" to fit the mold of who society dictated we should be, and so we sometimes would go to extremes for acceptance, regardless of whether or not it "felt right"!
It was cool to be cool!
Fortunately, as we get older, we have the capability to look back and see how trivial many of those periods in our past truly were. Nonetheless, it doesn't do us any good to dwell on the past! It happened. It's done. Nothing we can do now to change it! Time to look forward with a NEW ATTITUDE and NEW SELF IMAGE!!
Yep... EVERY PERSON you come in contact with in the world we live in, is NOT going to approve of the personal choices you have made concerning your personal self-being, but so what?! That's REALITYl!! You DON'T need the approval of EVERYONE to feel good about yourself!
Sounds like you have a wonderful wife that took the time to see beyond the "physical aspects of your baldness" (as you put it) and took the time to get to know the REAL you! That there, my friend, is a match that was meant to be, and is worth its weight in gold!!
Welcome to the SBG Forum, GBG!!
You're gonna' like it here! Lots of great guys and advice on everything from products to sports, to BBQ, to life itself and all categories in between!!
- Cap'n Noodles -
Note: In your post, you mentioned where, if you were bald back then, you might be considered as "not fitting in", but it all comes back to ATTITUDE! If you have confidence in the way you look, that confidence will shine like a beam of light, in other people's eyes!
Case in point: Two of the most daring bald guys I can think of in that time era were Yul Brenner and Tally Savalas! Not only were these two guys admired by thousands, upon thousands of women, but also by men alike!!
Like I said, it's all about the 'TUDE dude!!
Hope you enjoy the forum as much as we enjoy having you here!!
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#12 by Timmer on 31 Aug, 2010 13:27
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Quote
there was starting to become a bit of a mob mentality going on there, which I was a bit a part of.
I've got a big "me too" on that one. That kind of negativity in a group of A-Type Peronalaties is like blood in the water to sharks. -
#13 by BaldWriterBob on 31 Aug, 2010 16:53
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Welcome to SBG. Glad to have you on board.
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#14 by Arnie on 01 Sep, 2010 18:47
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Welcome to SBGs!!!
