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A little regret is setting in by Mauricio on 23 Jul, 2010 13:48
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Logically speaking I know that I shouldn't let this bother me, but I just cant help it. I shaved my head on tuesday after several years of wearing a hair piece. Although I HATED wearing that thing, I cant believe that there is a bit of regret now that its off. The horse shoe thing is really bugging me not to mention the razor bumps that I'm getting where the horseshoe begins to further accentuate the shadow. There is no going back, but I cant help to wonder if this was the right thing to do. I love the confidence that some to the people on this site have. Any suggestions? Good books to read?
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#1 by pdxtodd on 23 Jul, 2010 13:54
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Its actually a normal part of the process. The first two weeks are the hardest. I remember thinking at times that I did the wrong thing. By the end of the third week I was comfortable in my own skull and by the end of 30 days it was sly forever. I think especially for those of us with rugs - we constantly were thinking about our "hair" -- is it on straight, is the edge showing, is the lace showing through, will the glue hold one more day, will my new system arrive in time before this one falls apart, is the edge lifting, do I have enough supplies to last the next week, can she/he tell that I'm wearing a system - and when you shave it off you don't have anything like that to worry about anymore - so our mind clicks into overdrive looking for other things to worry about.
What you are experiencing is natural and normal. Key is to keep busy - get some sun on your head to even it out - and know that the first 30 days are the hardest. The irritation, bumps, et al go away with time - especially if you try techniques that Saintc talks about. It takes couple of weeks for your scalp to adjust - and from my own personal experience it does adjust.
Hang in there! I promise it gets better. A LOT better -
#2 by D.A.L.U.I. on 23 Jul, 2010 14:05
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First of all looks real good, and that beard looks like it has promise.
On the "regret", think Linus. Although I didn't do the rug bit, it may have been your security blanket in many respects. It gave you a refuge from "being" and "accepting" baldness. Now, you're out in front and that shadow--it's a constant reminder to you about what you ran from years ago. Years and years of reinforcement of that fear kept your piece vendor in business, they would always praise it--you knew the rules. Now, all that misery but also all the rules you knew and the reinforcement you got is gone. You're now dealing w/ the issue up front. And you haven't built up anything to replace what you've gotten rid of.
That's what the thirty days are about, how to be yourself, as you really are. You're going to get there. The shadow is tough, I guess I could go back and look at my posts about how upset I was, but I'd probably zapp them off the site--they really seem that ridiculous to me now, but they weren't then at all--to me at least. You will get beyond it too.
But, you have a great dome, and the picture tells me that with some color what little shadow you have, and it isn't as heavy as you think it is, will also fade. It's the monument to your decision to be yourself, unencumbered by a fake hair do! This will pass.
Shaving bumps, read up on the head shaving threads, get some good astringent, keep it clean w/ some mild anti-bacterial soap--Cuticura is my choice. And, remember there's nothing between you and the world, including dirt, now. It's essential that you change pillowcases regularly. Hats, if you wear them need to be clean.
Said it before and it's worth repeating. You've got a great dome, and it never should have been covered. Looks great.
Edit: Went back and found one of my "panic" attack posts--I got over it, and now damn I sound like such a jerk:
Various Bald Discussions / Advantages and Disadvantages to being Bald / Re: Darn! 5 o'clock shadow! on: November 16, 2007, 11:53:13 AM
The SHADOW, the STUBBLE--it's really getting to me. Using the Power Fusion & Headslick it doesn't show up until around 5 or 6 in the evening, but it's bugging me. It's been 5 weeks Sly and I caught myself in the mirror the other night about 10p and I looked like a bald guy with the runway. I wonder if there are any long term MPB Slys who can tell me whether you ever get over the bad feeling when the shadow is there reminding you that you are "small b" bald, I mean I like the shaved head look, until the shadow emphasises the runway reminds me that I'm MPB bald--and I feared that for a long time and obviously still do. Consciously I "accept" the fact, but obviously just below conscious it's still very much there. I realize it's probably only in my mind but it bugs the hell out of me. How long does it take until when you see the "runway" clearly defined by the shadow that you don't panic. Do you just gradually lose the panic about small "b" bald, do you learn to accept it? I'm going to a wedding this weekend and I am already getting concerned about how late I can possibly do the second shaving to avoid the shadow making me look MPB bald rather than a shaved head at the reception.
This probably sounds like the ravings of an idiot, but this really bugs me.
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#3 by Mikekoz13 on 23 Jul, 2010 15:02
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Dude.... big change. It WILL take time...... that's why we always recommend a 30 day trial period.
You look great shaved...... you're going to kill the ladies...... and you won't be worrying about your rug and if they can tell.
Peace my Friend.........
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#4 by Razor X on 23 Jul, 2010 15:17
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Your dome looks great to me. As Koz said, it takes time to get used to such a big change -- and that's what the 30 day rule is all about. You'll probably have moments that you love the new look, followed by moments where you aren't so sure. The reservations will fade with time.
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#5 by johnnyo on 23 Jul, 2010 17:41
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Mauricio, from one rug wearer to another, there will be regrets, but, this too will pass. You are letting go of something that has been a part of you for many years. What these guys have said is true, it will get better, just wait and see. You honestly do look good, don't worry about it so much and go out and have fun with it. Give it a chance.
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#6 by Sgt. Pate on 23 Jul, 2010 17:48
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Going Sly is a huge change and an emotional one as well. It'll take a little time for you to adjust, that's why we encourage the 30 day rule. You scalp will adjust too to being shaved, give it some time.
I use HeadBlade's ClearHead after my shave and some recommend witch-hazel. That might help keep the bumps away. You might also not try to get too close, shave with the grain and maybe every other day.
Hang in there bro!
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#7 by Rob on 23 Jul, 2010 18:05
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they all speak such sense on here that i have very little to add. You look great: the SLY look and beard suit you. Forget the rug: it's in the past - but it will take time to adjust. hundreds of guys get along without ever wearing a rug, and now you can be one of them. good luck.
As for reading books, I think by far the best thing to do is listen to all the great advice on this site.
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#8 by buddha on 23 Jul, 2010 19:42
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I never had a regret about scraping the dome. Had I been a "rug wearer" the thing that I would most definitely regret is all that money I spent on "tupes" over the years that I could have been spending on something fun.
As far as books go might I recommend "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff (and it's all small stuff)" by Richard Carlson, Ph. D. -
#9 by andrew on 23 Jul, 2010 20:32
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Mauricio,
You made the right decision - it looks great. It's common to second-guess a big decision like this, and most of us did the same thing in the beginning. But, as the others have suggested, give it 30 days ... I'm sure you'll find that the freedom and the look are both worth keeping.
Andrew -
#10 by warhawk on 23 Jul, 2010 21:02
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u look like a natural. u have made the right decision. keep it shaved for the "30 day rule". it is an "unwritten" rule here at SBGs. the rule states that the new head shaver must keep it shaved for 30 straight days. after the 30 day rule... the new head shaver will decide 2 keep it smooooooth or grow it back. most everyone keeps it smoooooth. enjoy embracing your new look.
WARHAWK
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#11 by chgobuzzbald on 23 Jul, 2010 21:33
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You are a very handsome guy with great skin and a great facial profile. You look great shaved. Tonight out at dinner I saw 5 shaved guys in less than 60 seconds while driving home. What does that tell you ?
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#12 by SBG Math Guy on 24 Jul, 2010 00:09
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short term pain, long term gain.
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#13 by The Noggin on 24 Jul, 2010 03:16
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Reading a good book of any kind might actually help you to stop thinking about hair/no hair.
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#14 by JBGood on 24 Jul, 2010 03:35
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You are working the sly look fine to me bro. Peace.
J to the B