Confidence and Success > How to Build Confidence

I'm really struggling.

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BaldAndAlone:
Hi,

I've been reading these forums for the past few weeks, and have decided to join to write this topic.

Well, as the title would suggest, I'm having serious issues with my confidence brought on by my hair loss. It's not just lack of confidence with women, but with everything in general and it is really starting to effect my quality of life now.

I am 22 years old now, and my hair has gotten really bad. I have had a noticeable receding hairline since about 2006, but this past year the hair ontop has gotten so thin I struggle to hide it under a hat anymore. It is at the point where you can clearly see where my thick hair ends and my thin hair begins. I was 15 when I first noticed I was losing my hair and that is the same time all these problems I've had over the past 7 years started. At first it didn't really bother me too much as I still had a lot of hair, but I think subconciously it had begun to affect me, as this was around the same time I started skipping school. It's been a continual pattern every since then.

Well let's see where I am right now... I have no job, have never had a job longer than 3 months, have lost contact with all my friends, never had a girlfriend, I am having problems with my family too and am probably suffering from some sort of depression as have just lost my passion for eveything now, and I am reaching a point where I simply don't care about anything. I know all of this is a result of my thinning hair and how it has affected me.

My parents don't understand and think I am just lazy, when in reality the reason I don't leave the house much is because I'm so unhappy with the way I look and it has seriously hit me hard. Because of my thinning hair, I've tried to make the most of the things that I can control, such as my body shape (I'm actually underweight having suffered an eating disorder), good hygene etc..but after a couple of weeks I just give in and say ''what is the point?''. I doubt I'll ever be happy with he way I look again.

When I was youner I was never unhappy about the way I looked, though my family members would often make fun of me about certain things. Maybe this is why I've grown to have so little confidence? I've always been a little sensitive but never one to show it.

I have tried shaving my head once. It took a long time, and there were more than my fair share of cuts (don't use ASDA smart price razors!) One of the problems about it though was that I had a lot of moles and spots on my head including one really unsightly mole of the side of my head. This just knocked my confidence down even further. I'm also really pale as I rarely go out during the day, instead spending the day sleeping, and being awake at night times.

How wonderful it must be being happy with your appearance.

I imagine simple things, like waking up, putting on some clothes and leaving the house looking forward to a new day. Just something so simple like that is something I'm envious of. Instead I wake up hoping for a rainy/cold day so I have an excuse to wear my beanie hat :/ studying myself from every angle trying to make sure everything is hidden. I can't remember the last time I left the house without a hat.

I just can't enjoy myself doing anything. I have met girls in the past, and I seem to get quite alot of attention in the workplace, but these are times when I am wearing a hat. I dread to think what they would think of me if I took it off. I've always been pretty happy with my face and I still am. I'm also really tall, and people tell me I'm handsome but I just don't feel it. My hairloss has just completely altered my perception and what I see in the mirror.

Before all this began, I never took any notice of bald people. When I was little, and never saw a bald guy and thought ''WOW LOOK AT HIM!!!!!!!''...... it was just some guy. I know people don't care about my hairloss as much as I do, and some may think I'm being shallow but I can't help the way I feel. I remember a few months back, I was walking through the City on the my way to the car park, and I usually take the back roads as I find the busy streets unbearable, and who should appear on the other side of the road? Another bald headed youngster, must have been no more than 25. I just laughed to myself, as it sums it all up completely. Everyone one else in the streets whilst us two baldies were hiding away down the back roads and alley ways.

How the hell am I supposed to get on with my life and enjoy myself with this noose around my neck?

I can't believe how different I am to the boy I was 8 years ago. No longer a happy, smiling, talented young man who always wanted to be out with his friends, and instead replaced with an ugly, emotionless, empty shell who would rather spend his nights alone than dare to leave the house.

I hope and pray for the day when hair loss can be cured but I know it won't happen. The government with never allow itself to lose millions from hairloss companies by releasing a cure.

And so what now then? I have already missed out on what was supposed to be the best part of my life because of this horrible condition. I uesd to always say to myself, 'I'll make up for it in my 20's.' And yet hear I am two and half years in and if anything I've gotten worse.

What a waste my life has been.

nano:
Hello Brother,
Here a lurker also, but i Just couldn't resist joining after reading your post.
Ditto every single word, except for the job part [{[-__-']!
post your pic so we can compare

BillOnBass:
Hey man,

Well first of all, you may be balding but you're certainly not alone!  There are millions of guys that lose their hair at a young age (me included).  I really do understand how hard it can be psychologically, but it's not the end of the world! 

I suggest you give shaving another try.  Invest in some good shaving supplies and take your sweet time.  Just avoid nicking a mole! 

I'm sure you're aware of the other "solutions" for balding, i.e. rugs, plugs, and drugs, but these are all basically ineffective, expensive, and possibly dangerous.  Shaving is the only way to confront your hair loss problem at the source.  I mean, your hair loss will only progess and if it's making you miserable then eliminate the problem NOW by ridding yourself of the burden of thinning hair!

No one deserves to be miserable because of something they can't control.  By shaving your head you ARE taking control, and I bet if you take control of your hair you will have the motivation to get other aspects of your life in control as well.

Remember: you're not alone!  You've come to the right place. 

Now I'll let the elders chime in with their sage advice. 

The Noggin:
Good you came here and told us your story. I think you are in a depression that will not go away on its own, and you should seek professional help. You said it yourself, you try something and give up, or you don't even try. The balding might be where it started, but your problem is much bigger. You need help. Good luck.

DAMMAG:
You've definately come to the right place for help and support. I've been dealing with MPB since about 18 years of age (over 20 years) and this site is the best thing that has happened to me in regards to balding. I wish it was about when I was your age.

I have always wanted to be bald and proud but found it hard to be that positive. Since joining this site I AM bald and proud. It is amazing the difference being around (in the internet sense) positive people makes.

Good luck and keep posting.

Damian.

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