Please Help Me Guys - page 1 -

• Please Help Me Guys by don on 29 Mar, 2007 00:12
• I was talking to a friend of mine who had hair transplants a few years ago and he suggested that I get them too.When I told him I was too chicken to get cut he told me that if there are procedures like transplants out there to make you look your best,why not take advantage of them.
  
  So I told him that I wear my hairpiece on certain occasions and most of the time I keep my own hair cut close. He asked me how do I tell a possible significant other that I wear a piece.So I told him that I don't wear it in a social situation because if I do meet somebody at least they will see the real me.This guy also said that he would get a face lift when the time came just to look young.
  
  When I told him that you have to have personality also he sort of side stepped that.When I told him that there are a lot of good looking bald men out there he said again that if there are things out there like hair transplants to have hair again why not take advantage of it.
  
  He says it makes him feel better about himself but yet he says that he feels nervous that people are always judgeing him.Sounds contradictory.This guy is also in the theater so maybe that's why he's so vain.At any rate he made me feel that he didn't think I was looking the best I could just because I wouldn't go for those scary hair transplants.Please,if I ever needed words of encouragement I need them now.
• #1 by PBurke on 29 Mar, 2007 00:19
• sounds like HE is the one with the problem. as long as YOU are comfortable with yourself, then why should his opinion matter?  confidence goes a loooooong way with people, not just potential mates, be comfortable with yourself and let him waste his money on stuff to make him feel better. i plan to just let nature take it's course and grow old gracefully. but that is just me. you have to do what makes YOU feel good about yourself.
• #2 by Robmeister on 29 Mar, 2007 00:31
• First thing that comes to my mind, don, is that what shines around here with the SBG bruthas is much more than our shiny noggins...
  
  It's personality PLUS, man...because of the confidence and liberation we EXUDE from embracing baldness rather than fighting it.  I've often wondered why this group is so dynamic and attractive...and I'm convinced that it has to do with this confidence and liberation.
  
  I'm bald by choice so I'm not the most empathetic in relating to transplant, hair piece, Rogain and all that.
  
  But in my opinion, I think the days of fighting MPB with these things are slowly going by the wayside in favor of embracing baldness rather than fighting it. (and frankly I believe it is scaring the sh** out of the restoration and coverup business)
  
  I personally think that you guyz with the horse shoe thing have better looking bald noggins because more of it is tan or tan's much more easily and there's way less pale shadow to mitigate.
  
  When I was a lot younger, my stache and goatee did not connect down the sides of my mouth....and I was so insecure about looking like one of the Three Muskateers, that I would draw in the connection with my sister's eyebrow pencil.
  
  Then I was all insecure that someone would notice the false whiskers....so I never really accomplished anything as far as confidence.   So finally I just shaved it off and sported the bic'd look.
  
  Now that's a weak comparison...but it seems to me that it's a similar situation with transplants and/or wearing a piece.....while ya sorta mitigate one aspect of insecurity....it sorta creates another.
  
  Don't know how encouraging that is....just my 2 cents.
• #3 by Tyler on 29 Mar, 2007 00:33
• Don,  stay bald my brother.  I'm telling you that he may have confidence now, but as soon as he starts losing his hair in the places that he didn't get transplants, he's going to start feeling like a jackass.  Just imagine him losing his hair on the side of his head and then having "thick" hair on top.  People will then really start to laugh at him or he'll have to pay more to get even more transplants.
  
  Just remember, the long term benefits are in your favor.  Confidence and personality are the key, just like you said.
  
• #4 by Vash on 29 Mar, 2007 01:50
• (Note: My SLY guys affirmations... Read these out loud)
  
  I refuse to be told what is or is not universally attractive.
  I will instead determine for myself what I will look like and seek out others who will accept, appreciate and love me, as me, for me.
  
  I refuse to be SOLD attractiveness.
  I will instead choose the products and services that suit my purposes and work well for me.
  
  I refuse to be shamed or guilted by the media into changing my looks.
  I will instead find the body, hair, clothing style that best suits me and makes me most comfortable.
  
  I refuse to cling to or chase my inevitably fading youth.
  I will instead embrace my age and enjoy the wisdom each year brings.
  
  I refuse to be made uncomfortable by other people.
  I will instead luxuriate in the comfort I find within my own skin and will enjoy and draw confidence from the frustration my comfort causes those who would change me.
  
  I refuse to let the superficial judgments of others affect me.
  I will instead instead draw confidence from my knowledge of myself and show that to others.
  
  I refuse to accept the labels of society and the individuals that live within it.
  I will instead set my own standards for myself and choose who's opinions I will listen to based on my respect for them.
  
  This is my line in the sand. I am an individual. I am my own person.
  
  Accept me, respect me and I'll do the same for you.
  
  Otherwise 
  
  I am far to busy being SLY to be troubled by your narrow minded low self worth.
  
  
  Here endeth the rant...
  
   
• #5 by Tyler on 29 Mar, 2007 01:55
• Vash - Bravo! Bravo!!  Forget what I said...listen to Vash.
• #6 by Kajun on 29 Mar, 2007 02:03
• Quote from: Tyler on 29 Mar, 2007 00:33

  t as soon as he starts losing his hair in the places that he didn't get transplants, he's going to start feeling like a jackass. 
  

  
  
  mark these words because it will happen...just because you get transplants to fill in the balding areas..doesnt mean the rest of your hair will not fall out..at that point you'll be paying more and having to get transplants again...its a vicious cycle.....i had a horse shoe for 12 yrs..thick at first...eventually the sides thinned out too!!...remember.. misery loves company and guys that pay thousands for transplants will end up miserable in the end because nature wont stop no matter what the hair club for men says....
  
  
  also like robmiester said.. the days of fighting MPB is over...there is an explosion of men shaving their head these days and i dont see an end to it...in 2 to 5 years its gonna be hard to find a guy with a horseshoe...they'll be sly and liberated!
• #7 by PigPen on 29 Mar, 2007 07:12
• I agree with EVERYTHING that Vash said. If I get up in the morning and don't like what I'm lookin at in the mirror, then no one will like what they see. Forget the labels, forget the media storm and "Hollyweird" telling you how you should look. I've always said, "This is who I am, if you don't like it then tough, you can just keep on walking"
  
  I used to have a sticker on the bumper of one of my trucks that said "Freedom of expression, if you don't like it, don't look"
  
  I'm all about that
• #8 by schro on 29 Mar, 2007 07:31
• Don,
  All these guys made extremely valid points. It's all about how YOU feel about YOURSELF. I had been dealing with MPB since high school and was ribbed a lot by friends growing up. As I got older, I used to joke with people when I said "I look good from the neck down" (I'm into running and keep myself in pretty good shape). As I got older, I still kept myself in good shape but really didn't think I was as worried about my hair loss. However, I guess I was subconsciously bothered by it. I was always wearing a hat (even in the house). I try to keep my skin in good shape and am very religious about wearing sunscreen. Since I shaved my head on New Year's Day 2007, I now love going outside and zipping around town without a hat. I even go golfing without a hat (SPF30 is a must). I have gotten many. many, many compliments on my shaved head and how much younger I look. But more importantly, I FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF. On a sidenote, I suffered from a bad scalp condition which is completely gone since I shaved my head, which is enough of a reason to keep the SLY look.
  
  You need to do what is best for you. However, even though I was concerned about my MPB, I never considered hair plugs or restoration procedures. Like you, I know I would have been concerned with the fact everyone would have known I got it.
  
  Hope that helps,
  Schro
• #9 by MC HammerHead on 29 Mar, 2007 08:36
• Quote from: Vash on 29 Mar, 2007 01:50

  (Note: My SLY guys affirmations... Read these out loud)
  
  I refuse to be told what is or is not universally attractive.
  I will instead determine for myself what I will look like and seek out others who will accept, appreciate and love me, as me, for me.
  
  I refuse to be SOLD attractiveness.
  I will instead choose the products and services that suit my purposes and work well for me.
  
  I refuse to be shamed or guilted by the media into changing my looks.
  I will instead find the body, hair, clothing style that best suits me and makes me most comfortable.
  
  I refuse to cling to or chase my inevitably fading youth.
  I will instead embrace my age and enjoy the wisdom each year brings.
  
  I refuse to be made uncomfortable by other people.
  I will instead luxuriate in the comfort I find within my own skin and will enjoy and draw confidence from the frustration my comfort causes those who would change me.
  
  I refuse to let the superficial judgments of others affect me.
  I will instead instead draw confidence from my knowledge of myself and show that to others.
  
  I refuse to accept the labels of society and the individuals that live within it.
  I will instead set my own standards for myself and choose who's opinions I will listen to based on my respect for them.
  
  This is my line in the sand. I am an individual. I am my own person.
  
  Accept me, respect me and I'll do the same for you.
  
  Otherwise 
  
  I am far to busy being SLY to be troubled by your narrow minded low self worth.
  
  
  Here endeth the rant...
  
   
  

  
  Right on Brother!  You said a mouthful there.
  
  Don, if your friend feels that way about himself then that is the way he is going to be.  The cool thing though is you don't have to be like that.  Go with your heart man.  If you don't want to do the transplant thing then that's your call.   If he is worried he is being judged by others yet judges you for not following his same path then that problem is his not yours.
  
  My favorite movie is "Braveheart" (duh) and one of the best lines in the movie, a little more obscure than some, comes when William Wallace rides back from "picking a fight" with the English at the Battle of Sterling Bridge.  The Irish character asks "What do we do now?"....Wallace looks at him with a sly grin and says " Just be yourselves".
  
  Dude, Just be yourself bro!  Whatever you want to be.
  
  Or if you want to be really cool, be like me!  ha ha ha ha...
  
  
• #10 by jusbnme on 29 Mar, 2007 08:39
• Just listen to what the other Sly bros. have said Don.  Just have confidence in yourself and everything will be okay.  Don't worry about what other think about you.  You have to like you for you or you will never be a truly happy person.  Then you will never make others happy around you.  Stay bald brother and while you're at it try the sly look out and forget the hair piece.   
• #11 by Paul on 29 Mar, 2007 13:47
• Don, very little to add to what the others have said so well.  As the words of the old song say, "You can't please everyone, so you have to please yourself"  and know that there are a whole bunch of great guys and gals here to support you being you. 
• #12 by HotCajun on 29 Mar, 2007 14:09
• You are beautiful just the way you are!!!! It sounds like he's the insecure one going through all these surgeries, because he isn't comfortable in his own skin!
• #13 by Cam on 29 Mar, 2007 18:07
• Quote from: Vash on 29 Mar, 2007 01:50

  (Note: My SLY guys affirmations... Read these out loud)
  
  I refuse to be told what is or is not universally attractive.
  I will instead determine for myself what I will look like and seek out others who will accept, appreciate and love me, as me, for me.
  
  I refuse to be SOLD attractiveness.
  I will instead choose the products and services that suit my purposes and work well for me.
  
  I refuse to be shamed or guilted by the media into changing my looks.
  I will instead find the body, hair, clothing style that best suits me and makes me most comfortable.
  
  I refuse to cling to or chase my inevitably fading youth.
  I will instead embrace my age and enjoy the wisdom each year brings.
  
  I refuse to be made uncomfortable by other people.
  I will instead luxuriate in the comfort I find within my own skin and will enjoy and draw confidence from the frustration my comfort causes those who would change me.
  
  I refuse to let the superficial judgments of others affect me.
  I will instead instead draw confidence from my knowledge of myself and show that to others.
  
  I refuse to accept the labels of society and the individuals that live within it.
  I will instead set my own standards for myself and choose who's opinions I will listen to based on my respect for them.
  
  This is my line in the sand. I am an individual. I am my own person.
  
  Accept me, respect me and I'll do the same for you.
  
  Otherwise 
  
  I am far to busy being SLY to be troubled by your narrow minded low self worth.
  
  
  Here endeth the rant...
  
   
  

  
  AMEN Brother Vash! That was brilliant. I think that needs to be made into it's own topic, made sticky, and be in the rules of the board that everyone reads it. That was just inspiring.. and I didn't even need any inspiration! You have my utmost respect.
• #14 by don on 30 Mar, 2007 00:16
• I want to thank you all so much for your support. It's just that he made me feel so inferior because of my hair loss. But I notice even with his hair transplant he still has a bit of a bald spot and when the wind blows you could see right through to his bald scalp.I have to fight this weakness of mine in letting him make me feel bad.