Dealing with it

[thedude]

Hello fellow members,

I have been reading on this website for a while now and I decided to create my own profile. First of all, I would like to say that I find the information and the discussions very useful!

The reason I am writing this message is as follows. Since a year I noticed that I am going bald and I am having a hard time dealing with it. Btw, I am 24 years old. I don't have a receding hairline, temples or a thinning crown, but my hair in thinning all over my head (not on the sides and back btw). This is what frightens me. I think when this 'diffuse thinning' is becoming visible, you probably already are in an advanced stage of the going bald pattern. I am shocked about how fast it is going. Are there any other people here that went (or are going) bald by this pattern (and not the Norwood scale)? If so, did it go quick as well? And did your hairline also start to recede at a sudden point?

My current hairstatus is not that bad yet. I still have hair all over my head and nobody ever noticed anything or made a comment, except two times when I was in swimming (as you all probably know, thinning hair is more clear when wet). My hair now is pretty long, I think 5 inches approx, but I have to fix it and I am getting tired of this.  Now, since I am going to Spain in a month (for three weeks) I am going to buzz it all off. I'll start with #2. It's too early for shaving it all off. I just hope that it won't be too obvious that I am balding. I am afraid of the reactions, because none of my friend ever noticed anything and suddenly they will all see that I lost a lot of hair. Maybe an advantage of going bald like this could be that I will keep some sort of a 'shadow' on my head when I would buzz it without a guard. I know I am going to be bald some day and buzzing it off seems like a good transition to me. By the way, I would never go for a HT. I have read that many people regret it.

Like I mentioned earlier, I find it difficult to deal with. I have always been considered as an ugly guy and I have never had a girlfriend. I already notice that this is decreasing my confidence and it projects on everything I do or try. I also thin that the bald look won't look good on me, because I have this weird head shape, kind of like Andre Agassi has. I am really hoping that I can rewin my confidence somehow.

Well this is my story for now.

By the way, please excuse me for my bad English (I am Dutch), and if this is not the correct place in the forum for my story (I did not know where to write it).

[DrewH]

Mine started to fade all over at first as well, and then the hairline/temples/crown got it hard.  I basically had a whole head of hair up until I was 19 and in 3 years I was in pretty bad shape.

As far as the confidence thing goes no man is ugly enough to not score a girl.  I think this before/after of Neil Strauss really says it all:


Which by the way, I highly recommend you read his books The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists.  It's really what convinced me to consider going sly years ago, granted I didn't actually do it until last month.

You just have to take charge and find out what works for you.

If you are considering going sly I think sooner than later is better as it puts you on the offensive rather than the defensive.

[The Noggin]

Welcome dude!

Buzzed or shaved, you show that you have nothing to hide. You don't have to wonder what other people can or cannot see.

Do it, and if you're not going to like it - at least you have tried it. It's your decision. You're in control.

[ozzie]

Welcome to the forum! Your English is just fine.

Buzzing your long, thinning hair will give you a great feeling, and will, based on your post, certainly look a lot better than it does currently. And you will definitely feel more confident, not having to worry how you hair is behaving.

And I doubt that I have seen a better example of the transformational power of going sly than the one Drew has shown above. Good one mate! 

[Gambrinus]

Mine did the exact same thing.  I never had the retreat to the back.  It just started to thin and it went fast.  Now I am probably a 5A on the Norwood Chart.  I was around the same age as you also.  When I was 27 I came to grips and buzzed it all off.  Not too long after that I started shaving it.  Best hair cut I ever had  

[Razor X]

Hello fellow members,

I have been reading on this website for a while now and I decided to create my own profile. First of all, I would like to say that I find the information and the discussions very useful!

The reason I am writing this message is as follows. Since a year I noticed that I am going bald and I am having a hard time dealing with it. Btw, I am 24 years old. I don't have a receding hairline, temples or a thinning crown, but my hair in thinning all over my head (not on the sides and back btw). This is what frightens me. I think when this 'diffuse thinning' is becoming visible, you probably already are in an advanced stage of the going bald pattern. I am shocked about how fast it is going. Are there any other people here that went (or are going) bald by this pattern (and not the Norwood scale)? If so, did it go quick as well? And did your hairline also start to recede at a sudden point?

A lot of people experience a combination of diffuse thinning along with the typical Norwood Hamilton patterns.  As for how quickly it is happening -- don't worry about that too much.  There are phases in which the hair loss seems to accelerate, followed by periods where it slows down or even seems to stop for a while.

The important thing to bear in mind is that it isn't the end of the world.  A #2 buzzcut sounds like a good solution for now.  You can gradually go shorter as you notice your hair loss beginning to get worse -- which will probably be over a much longer period of time than you think it will.

[Polarbear]

Hey dude,

Ik ben zelf ook Nederlands. Maar ik zal je vraag even in het Engels beantwoorden omdat dat wel zo netjes is voor de rest

If you want to buzz your hair, but you are afraid of how it will look, it is better to do it today rather than tomorrow, because the fear will build up in your head. So you will believe that you are or will be ugly even if you haven't try it yet. There's only one way to find out how it looks: buzz it. It's a great look, very manly And you are lucky that you don't have the MPB pattern but only the diffused pattern. Your scalp may shine through when buzzed short but that's no problem as long as your hairline is good!

Andre Agassi is considered a handsome man. I think he has a great headshape. And, what DrewH said, The Game is really a good book. You should give that a try. It's fun to read and gives you some insights in how to be confident with girls. Good luck with your decision!

[Razor X]

The Game is really a good book. You should give that a try. It's fun to read and gives you some insights in how to be confident with girls. Good luck with your decision!

Speaking of Neil Strauss, I'd like to see what he looked like before he started shedding his mane.  That must have been one head of really bad hair -- the kind I would have shaved whether it was thinning or not.  Hair is not always better. 

[Morthen]

Losing your hair is never an easy thing to deal with. I went through a lot of should I do it? Should I not do it? What will everyone think? etc.

But at the end of the day If you're not happy with your hair you should go for it. Worst case scenario you don't like it and it grows back.

It seems the mantra of everyone here is "why didn't I do it sooner" or "what the hell was I afraid of"

Buzz it, shave it, and enjoy life. Good luck on your decision.

[Mrnemo]

My friend has the same thing with his hair. He buzzes it to a number 1 about once a week. You can't tell it's thinning to he lets it grow out a bit. He's short aswell but is a lady killer. It's all about confidence. Good Luck

[TheSlyBear]

It's all about confidence.

Quoted for truth.

[xnewyawka]

It's all about confidence.

Quoted for truth.

Confidence is key!   

[kenny57028]

Ya my hair started to thin out all over on the top of my head last year. It thinned out lal over at once, but is thinner in some areas. Also my hairline receded quite a bit. Everything thats happened in this last year with my hair has been quite fast and more is gone before I even notice. Compared to a month ago when my hair wasnt shaved there wud be much less now. I'd say shave it even if it ain't the greateset itll still look better than balding.

[Argyle]

Hi and welcome to the forum. 

I can associate with exactly the type of hairloss you are dealing with.  Mine was noticeable at the age of about 23.  By the age of 27 or 28 there wasnt much on top to talk about.  That is when I started shaving. 

Let me tell you.  I am not the best looking guy in the world by any stretch.  No one, well almost no one has ever commented on the fact that I shave my head.  I have a great wife and a great life. 

You are so much more than your hair, and more than your looks as a whole.  Women go for you as a person not solely for the way you look.  How do you view other people?  Could you imagine rejecting someone out of hand just on the basis of t he fact that they dont meet your physical ideal? 

I know it is hard, but what you have to do is accept it and move on.  It is a cliche, but life is short.  So many on here, includign myself spent too long worrying about hairloss.  Every day worrying is a day that you could have done something exciting. 

[thedude]

Sorry for the late response, I am having exams this month...

Well, first of all, thanks for all the support! It is always interesting to read how other people dealt with the balding process. And even better, that you guys now don't consider it as a problem any more and are happy with it . I wish I was already also in that stage now. It will just take some time.

As I mentioned earlier, in a few weeks I am going to buzz it all off. I'll probably start with a #2. One of the things that I am afraid of, is that it will be very noticeable and I know that will affect my confidence badly then (which already is not that great). I am still going to do it though. Probably the sooner the better. In a month, I am going on vacation for a month with this girl I know (and I really like her), so I hope she won't turn me down as soon as she sees that I am losing my hair.

I have noticed the last time that I changed from a social, outgoing and funny guy to a depressed, grumpy, quiet dude. We will see how things work out.