Hey guys, I don't use this forum often as I am bussy as a fulltime student and have spent several monthes going to care for a sick aunt with my mom, but I would like to tell of a discovery that I have made and is important to me. I know most of you have all ready realized this and I'm sorry if I come off as preacher, as this is not the case and what I have to say is new to me. I have began dating within the year, starting to see people from school and around the area. While my first few dates were terrible I began to meet some "good ones", but still always found myself turned down in a week. I wondered what was wrong with me and if I was just undesirable. I've always been told I'm attractive (especailly in the last year), but never believed it.
Finally I ended up meeting my ex through a club. We began dating and things got off very rocky as my ex is bipolar, manic-depressive, and narcisistc. Still, I decided to try and see if things got better. In time they did...for a while, but in the end a manipulative, nasty, and abusive relationship came up. We broke up four times in slightly under two months and every time we broke up my ex would threaten to commit suicide! I was dumped twice, because I am a virgin and was not ready then to have sex. In the end I realized I had settled because I have low-self esteem and was not willing to wait for someone ready for a relationship and worthy of me. I'm glad I did not take my ex back AGAIN for a fifth time, because I know things would never change.
I am writing this, to warn others that it really sucks to settle for someone who is not ready for a relationship or worthy of you. Don't sell yourself short, because it invalids you and closes you off to someone better. There were so many red flags that I decided to ingore, as there often are. I know many people struggle with some poor self esteem and I hope my little story helps. I did love my ex, but had to let go and now am taking my time to build my confidence alone.
