Confidence and Success > How to Build Confidence

I lack confidence with women

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baldtribesman:
I grew up with a twin brother and I was the brains and he was the mouthpiece, so I have a natural shyness to me I sometimes think women do not like me, there are things about myself that I would like to change and I am learning to accept myself.  But I lack confidence I am not a well rounded person because I am moslty nerdy I like science especially chemistry and physics.  I also like genetics and antrhopology.  I spend my fun free time doing puzzles and that makes me happy.  I can solve the rubiks cube in 40 seconds.  I can also solve a 4x4 cube called rubik's revenge in less then 5 minutes.  I do several su doku puzzIes a day I do magic I know all sorts of tricks.  I can juggle I studied juggling as a child.  I play the piano.  I love classical music as well as other kinds I am ecletic in my tastes. 

However, However,

when it comes to women I am at a loss because they do not seem to be coming to me and I am to shy to make the first move with them.  So I am lead to the impression that most women do not like me.  Guys I am being honest and spilling my guts so please respect that.

Sly Red:
Fred, there's got to be places that nerdy chicks go to, things that they do.  I only know about nerdy guys, so I can't help there.

Is there a business or IT social group in your area.  Let me think some more on this.  Ideas, guys???

You need to get into some sort of social circles where you could play the piano.  I'll bet the ladies would go wild over you.

Red

Tyler:
So much to say, so little time.  I don't have time to respond fully right now, but I will tonight.

The premise of my post will be to focus on your strengths (things you are confident while doing) when in social settings.

Shikantaza:
Hi Baldtribesman,

Women tend to like kind, successful, ambitious men who are attentive but not weak. Men ought to take a vested interest in what the woman likes/dislikes, what she is interested in and what her opinions are about things while at the same time being aware that too much eye contact and too many questions will kill the mood for women. You have to be interested while playing it cool like you may know something about what she is saying and strong like she is in charge but you are protecting her.

Where to meet women:

If you are not an exerciser maybe its time you start. Join a yoga class and be patient (tons of women). Join a palates class or a swim class but don't be lecherous (tons of women).

Look into joining some clubs or groups that do some of the things you like. There are likely going to be women in there or at least it creates a window.

Online dating. Always a possibility for (tons of) women.

But kindness is key. KINDNESS without being too gazey. Women want to know that they are safe, so staring can be uncomfortable. Open doors, pull out chairs (if its convenient), offer the woman to go first (almost always) but don't look desperate; just smile and make some minimal eye contact. Be cool and relaxed. And expect nothing.

Another way is to make girl friends. You know, some chicks you are not interested in. You can meet them online or through a club or class or at work and begin to get comfortable around women.

Even when rejected be cool. Rejection hurts but be cool. The more you try (without being a lecherous creep) the more possibilities you will encounter.

Remember that physical exercise always helps you shine from the inside out and women will see that.

Good luck.

bartman:
I will try to make this short.

Are you looking for sex, or are you looking for long term relationship or to get married. They really do have different approaches.

First, you sound smart and studious. So read books about women. Like a rubix cube, if you don't understand what makes them work, how the respond, what the like and dislike, you will have a much more difficult time.

If you are looking for sex then http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Method
It teaches you how to approach women, never straight on, but at the side. How to tell a joke to break the ice and introduce yourself to someone you don't know. How to practice this. How to look for IOI's (indicators of interest) and Kino escalation. It is an instruction book, play by play. Very effective for nerds, the socially inept and those who have no confidence. You practice it on women you don't know or messier want to have a long term relationship. Like a rubix cube, it is a game, you have to keep trying, if something does not work, you try a different way. It also shows what not to do. The TV show proved the method worked as they took nerds, unattractive guys, men without confidence and got them good looking women.
It works, I have used the methods myself although I did not have to use the negs   because I was not going after the hottest women. You can increase your value in other ways.

This worked very well just to meet new women.

If you are against doing this (you sounded like you want a process to follow to get the girl you want and a playbook to get confidence and this is it.) There are more traditional methods but understanding women is key. Read Men are from mars women from venus which will help you understand them better.

You find, women are not as stuck on looks as men are and that if you ACT confident, even though you are not (how many men are nervous on the inside when they are woman hunting but you don't know it because they know how to act)

So, if you look at it as a problem solving excersize, and a woman is a rubix cube that needs to be figured out, you read books, you don't give up, soon you will figure out the pattern to use and that it is fairly simple you will be able to repeat success. Realize even watching the videos, they will tell you if a woman is not giving IOI's then get out and move on to the next because if you don't you will only wallow in your failure. And there will be many failure until you get it right.. Just like a rubix cube.

Some may disagree that this is not a good starting point, but it is proven. Some people say that P90x does not work but we all know those are the people that did not take the time to do the workouts because if they did, you would see a difference. That is all the time I have so good luck to you.
No one on this board is going to be able to give you how to be confident lesson in a few short pages. This

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