How do you (did you) deal with comments that are not positive?

[wpruitt]

I posed this to a friend of mine in HR.  She seems to think that clothing is more an issue. Her negatives are extreme clothing (pants below the waist), poor hygiene, extremities in jewelery and SMELL (i.e body odor or an overdose of cologne / aftershave).  Her only feeling on hair (facial and head) is that as long as it is well-maintained and not ZZ Top or Patti LaBelle, you are okay.  Be more concerned about presentation and selling your skillset / abilities.

[warhawk]

Mind over Matter, I don't mind so it doesn't matter.

hey shadowside:  well said.

WARHAWK

[Sgt. Pate]

What kind of work do you do?  Do you really think a shaved head is an impediment to getting a job?
No criticism intended whatsoever; I'm just curious why you think it may be a problem. 

Because I have been told so on three occasions.  A friend who works where I just had an interview, who told me about the opening, warned me in advance that "I probably wouldn't get hired if I came in with a shaved head".

Just answering your question Razor... I was being open regarding the OP's question, that's all, and I was not looking for advise nor do I wish to defending my choices.  I should have left that part out.. sorry.  The truth is, there is a negative stereotype associated with head shavers and people around here make that clear.  Nuff said.

[Razor X]

Just answering your question Razor... I was being open regarding the OP's question, that's all, and I was not looking for advise nor do I wish to defending my choices.  I should have left that part out.. sorry. 

You don't have to defend your choices -- and I wasn't trying to offer advice.  I was just curious because I was under the impression that this sort of thing wasn't an impediment to getting a job anymore.  I didn't mean to pry or to hijack the thread. 

[Sgt. Pate]

Just answering your question Razor... I was being open regarding the OP's question, that's all, and I was not looking for advise nor do I wish to defending my choices.  I should have left that part out.. sorry.  

You don't have to defend your choices -- and I wasn't trying to offer advice.  I was just curious because I was under the impression that this sort of thing wasn't an impediment to getting a job anymore.  I didn't mean to pry or to hijack the thread.  

No problem Razor... I didn't mean to sound defensive or anything.

[D.A.L.U.I.]

The truth is, there is a negative stereotype associated with head shavers and people around here make that clear.

With all due respect, I strongly disagree.  I haven't found this to be true in any aspect of my life, nor have any of the slys I personally know well.  I don't think you should confuse your perception with the actual state of affairs of all.  I work and have worked as a lawyer in what can only be called a conservative southern environment most of my life and I have never found that to be the case pre or post Sly.  Oh, by the way, I was raised in the Reno area, and if any area of this country is a very much "do your own thing" area, Reno is the heart of it.  And, my cousin, Sly, is a retired senior person in management of the Reno area office of a national corporation, a NY stock exchange company.  Just my observation and a sample of the facts to support it. 

[Sgt. Pate]

The truth is, there is a negative stereotype associated with head shavers and people around here make that clear.

With all due respect, I strongly disagree.  I haven't found this to be true in any aspect of my life, nor have any of the slys I personally know well.  I don't think you should confuse your perception with the actual state of affairs of all.  I work and have worked as a lawyer in what can only be called a conservative southern environment most of my life and I have never found that to be the case pre or post Sly.  Oh, by the way, I was raised in the Reno area, and if any area of this country is a very much "do your own thing" area, Reno is the heart of it.  And, my cousin, Sly, is a retired senior person in management of the Reno area office of a national corporation, a NY stock exchange company.  Just my observation and a sample of the facts to support it.  

No matter.  The whole point of my post was lost when I got off track with my personal issues regarding job searching.  Who knows what's going on in the minds of others.    

[(|8-)]

Because I have been told so on three occasions.  A friend who works where I just had an interview, who told me about the opening, warned me in advance that "I probably wouldn't get hired if I came in with a shaved head".

Well, in any given case, it could be because they just got rid of a jerk who happened to have a shaved head. I've heard of people being disqualified for being from the wrong school, mentioning the wrong sport or hobby, or sounding like they are from the wrong part of the country because they remind the interviewer of someone they don't like.

On the other hand....

Last year, a client was introducing me by phone to a vendor of theirs as the "design guy."  The vendor, jokingly checking on my credentials, asked if I had tattoos or a pierced face or if I was wearing all black.  He seemed reassured when I mentioned my shaved head.  Perhaps it depends on the kind of work you do...

My client has known me since I had hair, but I don't think he finds my appearance all that remarkable--he was ready to move the conversation along with a quick "no" and a chuckle until I jumped in with my self-description.

(No, I don't know what I would have said if I had been sporting a tattoo or a nose ring or a black turtleneck.)

[Sgt. Pate]

(No, I don't know what I would have said if I had been sporting a tattoo or a nose ring or a black turtleneck.)

You make a very important point!  NEVER trust anyone who wears a black turtleneck! 

[Professor Melon]

  I've never had any negative criticism, and I have pursued a career in college teaching throughout my professional life. Post-sly has been, at least for me, more positive than pre-sly, and academe is among the most conservative venues in town. Undercover and Razor X, as well as everyone else who stood up for integrity and self-approval, got it right. If I ever did get any negative comment, I'd look in the mirror in my basement, where the back-  and side -lighting make my dome gleam like a deco sculpture, and that would certainly nullify the downer. My wife's constant pleasure in my baldness has also provided a shield against derision. Professor Melon

[J.P.M. Polished]

with the hair or lack there of I usally respond with God only created a few perfect heads the rest he coved up and left them covered, but on a note there Sarg,,I actually cut my hair this time due to jobs and I beleave its discremination if they wont hir you with a bald head but have ben refused work once due to my gotee because they facial hair looks dirty. Mine covers up some scar s from a motorcycle wreck when I was a kid  where it looks like bubble gum from road rash , like a dummy I shaved it off and went back for another meeting and told them to shove the job case I had found one twice as good after shaving  LOL,

[bem75]

I rarely get a negative comment, but if I do, I just tell them that it makes me happy.  Period.  If it goes any further (it never has for me, by the way), I would probably take a smartass position.  But, that's just me.  I like Undercover's comments.  I'm gonna use that one, is the opportunity ever arises.

[dodger]

Hi

Are YOU HAPPY with the way you look?

That's the KEY

There will always be someone out there that will throw you a curve ball

And it will impact you, but you need to find the key that will minimize the hurt

Good Luck

[pdxtodd]

I've yet to have a negative comment -- but I have in the back of my mind readied my response.   One response that I've thought about is to tell them "sorry, chemotherapy made my hair fall out" -- just to make them feel absolutely terrible about their comment.   The reason why I think about using that response is that I want to shock that person into realizing how wrong their comments were.    I've thought about other responses like -- well that's ok -- I can wake up in the morning and feel good about myself,  but you just can't fix ugly.   

For me I am totally and completely confident with my shaved head.   I have people ask me (like tonight at dinner) how I like it after 3 months and my standard answer is "I absolutely love it -- its the best thing that I've ever done".    Peoples responses have always been "you look awesome with your head shaved".   

I also think that we manifest peoples comment through our own actions.  If I looked as "bad" as Razor (and I mean bad in a positive way) -- I'd be afraid to make any negative comments out of fear of being knocked into next week. 

[Father Pat]

Look as tough as you can and no one will dare make any negative comments.   

This is totally true.  A guy at the boxing gym I used to go to had shaved head, goatee and wore a biker jacket all the time.  Nicest guy in the world.  But he said no one ever gave him any trouble.

Works for me!  :-)