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An open letter from a bald man to friends and family by Vash on 14 Oct, 2009 05:47
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I’ve explained to you over and over that shaving my head makes ME feel stronger, more in control, less a victim of nature and more the master of my own world. And I’m sorry to be so blunt, but this time, it really IS all about ME.
We’ve been over this and over this. While I respect your opinion, it’s my head, my life, my choice. You don’t need to like it, you need to like (or love) me, and what I look like shouldn’t matter. What you need to do is listen to me, not just hear me. Respect my choice in this matter. Support my decision and accept me for who I am. A bald person.
I’ve chosen not to hide from the reality of my situation. It causes me stress to always feel like people are watching my hair fade away and fall out. I don’t want to spend ridiculous amounts of money on “hair restoratives” or hair pieces and I can’t wear a hat ALL the time! Trust me, I’ve tried.
No, I am not being dramatic or making a big deal out of nothing. Whether you realize it or not, I am going through something here. I am having an experience that is changing my perspective about my sense of self and my looks. It’s affecting me in a real way and I need you to help me make this adjustment.
I have chosen to not only embrace the reality of my hair loss, but to MASTER my own appearance. After all we’ve been through, all we’ve meant to one another, all we’ve seen each other through, are you really willing to let something as trivial as my HAIRCUT, be something to come between us? Because that’s what’s happening right now. Every little joke, comment, complaint or just weird look you give me, you are making me uncomfortable, for trying to be comfortable. YOU are making my haircut an issue between us.
What I need from you is your understanding that this is something that is important to me, and difficult for me to deal with. I need your understanding, your kindness, your support. What I need you to do is listen to me, not just hear me. Respect my choice in this matter. Support my decision and accept me for who I am. A bald person.
You know I love and respect you and your opinion. And I have heard what you think about this. I took that into consideration when I made the choice to not have a bald spot, or a receding hairline, but to be a guy who shaves his head. I really, really need you to get behind me on this, or at least get out of my way about it. I need for you to not just "agree to disagree", but for you to decide for yourself that our relationship is more important to you than a haircut.
Thanks for your time.
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#1 by PBurke on 14 Oct, 2009 06:01
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once again vash, you hit one out of the park. awesome post bro!!!!
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#2 by schro on 14 Oct, 2009 06:04
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He Shoots, he scores!
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#3 by D.A.L.U.I. on 14 Oct, 2009 06:07
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Straight thru the uprights.
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#4 by Mikekoz13 on 14 Oct, 2009 09:46
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I love when Vash posts. His posts are always well thought out, well written, and very pointed. For a guy that doesn't post often, I think his posts say so much.
Excellent post Vash....... and I hope that whoever you may have pointed this at gets it. If they don't they are NOT who you thought they were.
Bravo my friend........ -
#5 by Stu on 14 Oct, 2009 12:12
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#6 by Tyler on 14 Oct, 2009 13:27
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Vash, I thank you for all of your heart felt posts! This is another one to add to the bank of Vash wisdom!
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#7 by joergHH on 14 Oct, 2009 15:14
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Thank you very much dor this outstanding post!!
J -
#8 by Paul on 14 Oct, 2009 16:40
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Once again a thoughtful and thought provoking post, Vash. Ever thought about submitting these to magazines or papers?
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#9 by xnewyawka on 15 Oct, 2009 10:31
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Great post Vash.
Once again you put into words what many of us think, and in my case at least, can't type fast enough to get all the thoughts down, lol.
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#10 by warhawk on 15 Oct, 2009 11:11
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hey vash: that post was poetry in motion. thanks 4 sharing that well-written post. your words R heavy & powerful.
WARHAWK
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#11 by herronm on 16 Oct, 2009 06:53
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Thanks Vash, for another great post.
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#12 by benmcd on 16 Oct, 2009 07:06
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You just said everything I would want to say to people, who try to make you feel uncomfortable about your choice, you are absolutely right.
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#13 by geoguy on 16 Oct, 2009 10:28
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Wow, thats an amazing post. I know exactly how you feel. I've been balding and talked alot about shaving my head. But when I actually did it... Yea, parents looked different at me, and my girlfriend actually started to cry. (not tears of joy I might add...
However, 4 months into this (shaving it all off), things are looking better. Most people close to me get it. And I feel exactly the same as you do. Its a choice to be in control. And hey! Its either the 'Bozo the clown look' or This... I know its tough, but be strong, your friends will see it and begin to enjoy you more as well...
P.S I should probably change my profile pic too by now...
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#14 by 440satellite on 16 Oct, 2009 10:51
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Incredible post, definitely something that happens to us all when we go sly for the first few months. The ones who are true to you and deserve to be in your life will come around and those who don't you're better off without. No different than gaining or losing a few pounds in my book, we're still the same person.... Just my $0.02