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Elephant jokes by Duffman on 04 Sep, 2009 21:11
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My mom told me a bunch of elephant jokes, apparently they were all the rage in the 60's. Not sure about that, but here they are, as many as I can remember (fair warning, I didn't make them up, I don't have to explain if they don't make sense).
How do you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge?
There are footprints in the butter.
How do you tell if he's still there?
You can't close the door.
How do you tell if an elephant is in bed with you?
The peanuts on his breath.
How do you hide an elephant in a strawberry patch?
Paint his toenails red.
How do you hide an elephant in a bowl of M&M's?
Paint his toenails multi-colored.
How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug?
5... 2 in the front, 2 in the back and 1 in the trunk.
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
Here come the elephants!
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming with sunglasses on?
Nothing, he didn't recognize them.
How do you put an elephant in a milk jug?
You need binoculars, tweezers and a milk jug. Look in the wrong side of the binoculars at the elephant, pick up the elephant with the tweezers and put him in the milk jug.
2 bonus jokes!
What's yellow and goes slam slam slam slam?
4 door banana
What goes stomp stomp stomp squish, stomp stomp stomp squish?
An elephant with one wet tennis shoe.
Please, either add more to it, or tell me not to quit my day job....
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#1 by Baldboss on 05 Sep, 2009 10:36
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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
What did the elephants say when they saw Tarzan coming?
Here come the elephants!
Here comes Tarzan.
What did Charles de Gaulle say when he say the elephants coming?
"Here come the elephants" in French.
What did the elephants say when they saw Charles de Gaulle coming?
Nothing - they couldn't speak French.
Why do ducks have flat feet?
Stomping out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
Stomping out flaming ducks.
Did you hear about the elephant with diarrhea?
You should have - it was all over town.
How can you tell if there's an elephant on your back during a hurricane?
You can hear his ears flapping in the wind.
Why do elephants float in the pool with their legs up?
So you don't confuse them with a bar of ivory soap. -
#2 by Mikekoz13 on 07 Sep, 2009 15:42
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These jokes were popular then..... I even had a peperback book of these jokes when I was a young boy.
Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?
Because elephants are jumping out of trees.
Why are pygmys so small?
Because they went into the jungle between 2 and 4 in the afternoon. -
#3 by Duffman on 10 Sep, 2009 04:53
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Thanks guys, I needed the laugh!
Happy Thursday!