I'm new and 16

[shaunisbalding]

Hello everyone~

My name is Shaun, I'm Korean, and I'm going bald 

My dad is bald, my dad's dad is bald, my mom's dad is bald, and all my uncles are bald--so I guess it does run in the family.

Growing up where I do, there are a lot of well "Asian Thugs", I hate to say. My hairline is receding very quickly, and my parents absolutely refuse to let me shave my head because of the demographics in the neighborhood. Because of this, I have to deal with the terrible look of a thinning hairline and an opening crown. I'm the only one at my school who is balding to a degree that I am and I suppose it's unfortunate.

Any advice?

[GaryT]

First off, welcome to SBG!! Stick around have some fun and ask away. Now, your "situation" is a tough one. Let me ask you this, "Do you think that you could get away with being bald in that "demographic?"  If you're not in any reall danger for shaving your head, I'd keep working on mom and dad. Nicely, patiently, slowly....but see if you can bring them around. Just my 2 cents worth.

[SultanofSwing86]

Hi, and welcome. I agree with Gary about easing the parents into it. Do you think that you can get away with buzzing it first? then go from there slowly by buzzing it shorter and shorter, then eventually go for shaving it. 

[shaunisbalding]

Thanks for the welcome.

My original plan was actually just to buzz to a 3 or so--I hadn't considered going completely bald to the scalp.

Buzzing didn't fly well either. I am thinking about just doing it one day and coming home with it.

[justinlane]

I understand the idea of easier to ask forgiveness than permission, but you've asked them once and they vetoed it, I would avoid causing any conflict like that.

[SultanofSwing86]

Buzzing down to a 3 might be a good start, especially if the hair loss isn't extreme. Then once the hair has thinned significantly I would shave it right down. If you can, post a pic so the guys can have a look and measure the situation. A completely shaved head might be a problem is if you are still at school, whereas buzzing it down to a 3 may not be a problem. With the issue of the neighbourhood/demographics I guess it depends on how bad it is, though you may find that as long as your don't dress like a thug or act like a thug, then having short hair may not be enough to make people see you that way.

My personal opinion is that it's your head and in the long run you should go with whatever look you feel more comfortable with. However as you are 16 perhaps it is a good idea to be receptive to what your parents are saying, especially if the balding isn't significant. Then maybe when you turn 18 and if the hair loss is more prominent then try going for the completely shaved looked, as its a good look. In the long run it's your decision and you have to live with your balding, you should choose whatever makes you happy and don't listen to any negative comments from friends and family.   

[shaunisbalding]

Thank you for all the helpful advice. I'll try to get a picture up soon.

I really do respect my parents, so I'll work on talking to them.

Recession is getting bad though.

[shaunisbalding]

After some debate, I've gotten my parents to agree to go down to let me buzz to a #8 cut, which is still pretty long, but a start I suppose. Still looks pretty bad, but better nonetheless.
 

[(|8-)]

Do the thugs have bald heads?  I thought Asian gangsters had perms and dyed hair.

Or are your parents worried that you are going to be a target for violence if you stick out?  I'm confused.

[barcafan]

In alot of cultures bald heads are a 'sign' of convicts and gangsters/criminals.  I'm sure its like that in asian countries, his parent's dont want their son to be seen as a thug.  So stupid but unfortunately its the way things are.  I think eventually they will give in.

[fcb2001]

i would still talk to your folks, in Korean Culture, one does respect their elders, eventually i think they will allow you to maybe go down to a #3

[balddad77]

My grandmother is Japanese, and their cultures are more similar than ours is to Korean.  When I first shaved my head, she looked at me kind of funny.  She told me that in Japan, the rough guys were bald.  Now she is 80, so her time frame to compare it to is a lot longer ago than now.  She said back in the "old days" the guys that would collect money for the Yakuza (or gokudo) would be bald.  She said that when they were seen in a village or city, no one ever messed with them.  She said it was a sign of someone that was in power and every one around new they were not to be messed with.  Said the  Imperial Japanese Army's military police (Kempeitai) and the Imperial Japanese Navy's Tokeitai, who are the most powerful police (at the time) wouldn't even touch them because they knew the ramifications were death.  So, given this little history lesson, I completely understand your parents thoughts behind it.  I can't say that I wouldn't have the same feelings about my boys wanting to wear clothes like some of the "thugs" do in our culture.  You know, the saggy and baggy pants, the gang colors, things like that. 

So, I guess with all my rambling here, I am saying that I would definately not buck your parents.  I know it's a personal thing that you want to do, as we all did, but I also know  that we are over 18.  And we don't "answer" to our parents (most of the time).  You can keep working on them, and if they agree, then go for it!  But I seriously wouldn't press the issue.  I understand how society looks at people can be the difference in a happy enjoyable respected life and one of constant observance.  Just be careful how hard you push.  You don't want to damage any type of family relationship.  Because in the end, family is the most important.

[Tom McGarry.]

Welcome to the SBG Family Shaun,

                                                      I wish that I could give you the right answere on this, but unfortunatly I cannot. All that I can suggest is to see if you can get your parents to understand that this it what you want to make yourself feel better and more confident and for no other reason, and to say I may end up this way anyway so I am jus speeding up the process. Having said that I have no idea if what it is like in your shoes so don't rock the boat so to speak.

                                                      Please note that what ever your decission is you are more than welcome to remain a part of this family for advise and support!! So best of luck to you and let us know how you make out!!!

[balddad77]

I agree with Tom also!  I think that no matter what your situation is, you can always be SLY with us!

[Ming the Merciless]

Thug?  Ugh!

Looking at the SLY-pix here--is "thuggish" the affect?  I think not.  Bold?  Independent?  Fearless?  Master of One's Fate?  That's the ticket!

Your move (and I hope you'll take the right path).