Author Topic: tips for boosting self-esteem  (Read 6294 times)

Offline SBG Math Guy

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tips for boosting self-esteem
« on: January 31, 2009, 04:02:05 PM »
This kind of stuff usually comes up after you log out of your hotmail account.  In any case,  here it is copied & pasted.

This is by Lisa Martin.  Kind of cool.

Tips for boosting your self-esteem
Would you like to see all that you wish for come to fruition? There's a secret weapon that will make it all happen - and it's You. Your ability to think positively and believe in yourself forms the cornerstone of success and enables you to live an inspired life. Here are five strategies to help you become your own champion.
1. Appreciate You
One way to develop a strong sense of contentment is to give yourself the gift of self-appreciation. Offer yourself the same respect and kindness you give to those you care deeply about. Treat yourself to favourite pastimes - great music, happy people, laughter.
2. Watch for negative self-talk
I've noticed that women, in particular, have a tendency to pick out, and pick on, the parts of themselves they like least. I can't tell you how many times I've heard women speak disparagingly about themselves: At the gym, a woman complains that she has a "jiggle butt." At my son's school, one woman tells another, "I am such a bad mom. I bought a cake for the cake walk (a fundraising initiative) instead of making it myself." Whether said as a joke or not, these self-deprecating words can be damaging when the negativity stems from a deeper sense of dissatisfaction with oneself. Oftentimes, negative comments tossed off in jest can come from a much more disapproving inner dialogue.
You may immediately relate to these examples and recognize this kind of behaviour as your own, or you might not even know that you have negative conversations with yourself. Take the mirror test to find out: The next time you see your reflection in a mirror, notice whether or not your first thought is a complimentary or a critical one. If it's critical (and for many of us, it is), it's time to stop running yourself down. Focus, instead, on what you like about yourself.
3. Focus on your attributes
Being happy in your own skin means getting comfortable with who you are, the way you look and what you want out of life. Instead of focusing on what you don't like about yourself, do your best to honour and appreciate what makes you unique. Your smile. Your sense of humour. Do you have wonderful hair or fabulous cheekbones? Now go further. What qualities define you as a person? What do you absolutely love about yourself? Is it your attitude? Resist the temptation to criticize yourself. This is a learned behaviour and it can be unlearned with intentional action.

4. Don't apologize for your achievements
We have all achieved things in our lives, both big and small, personally and professionally. Often, though, negative self-talk will stop us from basking in the glow of our successes. You might find yourself saying, "Hey, that wasn't so great" or "I could have done it better" or "I didn't really deserve that." You have the power to shut down this negative self-talk by honouring and celebrating your achievements. When you give yourself permission to feel positive about your accomplishments and refuse to listen to that negative inner dialogue, you will feel pleased. Proudly share your wins, rather than apologize for them. You might even amaze yourself when triumphal words such as "I'm great at my job," "I am the best mother ever" or "I rock" roll off your tongue with hardly a thought. Watch how your confidence builds as you praise your wins.
5. Do the best you can
Your best is going to be different from situation to situation. It will change depending on how rested you feel, who is involved and where you might be. No matter what the circumstances, the most you can ask from yourself is to do your best. Then remember to acknowledge that what you've done is just that. Through this self-acknowledgment, you can be released from angst and regret, and possibly see the humorous side of things - a great contributor to your sense of well-being.
Take a few minutes now to discover how you feel about yourself. List all your attributes, skills, talents and accomplishments. Do not list anything that's negative. Post this list and put it in a place where you can see it every day - your bathroom mirror. Review this list. Champion yourself on a daily basis and experience how you can talk yourself into a more positive you. Remember when you are feeling self-content there is an added benefit: You are more likely to feel generous and supportive towards others and that is the ultimate reward.



Offline Ghost1988

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Re: tips for boosting self-esteem
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2009, 07:42:25 PM »
you post the longest topics lol.

Offline wpruitt

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Re: tips for boosting self-esteem
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2009, 08:14:05 PM »
Good one Math Guy
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

Offline SBG Math Guy

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Re: tips for boosting self-esteem
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2009, 09:49:39 PM »
you post the longest topics lol.

Yes, unfortunately.   How to gain confidence and increase your self-esteem cannot be explained by a few sentences.  If you think about it, it's not that long when it's worth it.   It's not like you can say "well to increase your self-esteem all you have to do is look at yourself positively".   You know what I mean?  O0

Offline optimistic

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Re: tips for boosting self-esteem
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2009, 02:02:50 PM »
Great find Math Guy! That article reminds me of a book I read recently called 'The Four Agreements' by Don Ruiz.

Offline Dman

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Re: tips for boosting self-esteem
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2009, 07:37:31 PM »
The Four Agreements is a terrific map for living one's life:

1) Be impeccable with your word
2) Don't take anything personally
3) Don't make assumptions
4) Always do your best

I am always surprised by the fundamental truths that lend us the greatest opportunities for freedom - so simple to read, and yet so complex to put into daily practice.

Well wishes on the path,

Dman
Dman

Offline slickiedoo

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Re: tips for boosting self-esteem
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2009, 01:28:48 PM »
Thanks, that is some very useful information.

Offline baldmancometh

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Re: tips for boosting self-esteem
« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2009, 01:49:26 PM »
I'll tell you a great tool for confidence. Affirmations. It may sound ridiculous but they work. When I was starting out as the vocalist in my band I wasn't really shy in social situations but being on a stage in front of people can really make your confidence bottom out. I felt great in the practice room but anytime we played somewhere I'd get nervous as hell. So after reading some stuff on how people overcome alcoholism due to a friend who was spiraling out of control I found that daily/nightly affirmations can affect your mind in serious ways.

I find that recording them into my mp3 player helps a lot. Also to make them as if some one else is telling you instead of you telling yourself, just think of how it feels to get a compliment from someone. Use "You" instead of "I" ,and always make them positive(of course). As in "You have an incredible scream that allows people feel the energy and emotion of your lyrics." or "When you're on stage people can't keep they're eyes off of you because you are so entertaining."

Like I said may sound crazy but it works and you don't even really have to pay attention to it just put it on repeat put on your head phones and go about your day. Try it for a couple of weeks and you'll see results without even trying... what can you loose.


*** edit***

Also if you're one of those guys that are always internalizing that you can't do something or that you aren't good enough, then stop. Those are negative affirmations and if you say them enough you'll believe that crap. Catch yourself and correct them put them in a positive light. Like " I may be shy now, but I'm improving my confidence all the time."
« Last Edit: April 09, 2009, 01:55:13 PM by baldmancometh »
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.


Pshrynk

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Re: tips for boosting self-esteem
« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2009, 08:19:48 AM »
Here is a great pamphlet on the same topic based on some solid principles.   


http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/publications/allpubs/SMA-3715/introduction.asp

Offline Tyler

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Re: tips for boosting self-esteem
« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2009, 08:38:49 AM »
Here is a great pamphlet on the same topic based on some solid principles.   


http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/publications/allpubs/SMA-3715/introduction.asp

Thanks for sharing!
People are not limited by the circumstance that they are born in. They are limited by the size of their dreams. Show them that their dreams can have no limits and in turn their accomplishments can be limitless.

 



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