Bald guy retorts

[Argyle]

I am sure there has probably been a post or two on this in the past, but as I am sure that everyone has experienced a witty comment from one or two of their hairier friends, i thought i would start a thread to compile what you guys come back with. 

My personal favourite (in the context of being 6ft 4 tall)

....... well i can wear a hat if i want to, whereas you would look ridculous in stilts!

or.....

.......hats are cheap, plastic surgery is going to cost you way more!

[Mikekoz13]

Here we go:

1) You're right, I do look goofy with my head shaved. It doesn't look nearly as good as that comb over.


2) Nice scarf............


3) I don't need a head full of hair to feel like a man.


4) Uh.... your wife likes it.



                                           Mike

[Tyler]

Huh, what, did you just say something?  Who are you?

[schro]

"If you look closely at my head, you can see your future"

[GASlick]

My favorite with my family is "so".

[PigPen]

My favorite with my family is "so".

I use that one, but my favorite....."...and so your point is?"

[D.A.L.U.I.]

I am sure there has probably been a post or two on this in the past, but as I am sure that everyone has experienced a witty comment from one or two of their hairier friends, i

Hairy friends, witty?  Argyle, that's a hoot!

[dinosaur]

i've found you dont even need to bother with a retort. tyler's "what? who are you?", gaslick's "so" and pigpen's "your point is?" are perfect enough. you dont need to explain your head any more than someone else needs to explain theirs.

dont get me wrong, a witty comment can be good every once in a while as a joke. but if the person is trying to make a comment intended to make fun of you, the best response is to shoot it down with indifference.

dude: "you're bald! haha [insert witty comment here]"
me:
-option 1 "um. yeah. and?"
-option 2 "ok"
-option 3 "i know, and you're the first to notice"

[Marz]

"I dont need hair to be beautiful.... appearantly you do".

"I'm bald??? Oh my god! Are you *%#&ing serious? Wow, amazing"

-If it is a man

"So are you saying that if I was gay, you wouldn't date me?" 

"Do you rate all the men you see on their looks? I knew a girl in 5th grade that did that."

-If it is a woman

"Your fat, but I am to polite to say it to your face"

[champ007]

My line of choice is "I decided to bring sexy back"
so guess the retort would be "whats your excuse"
Might take them a minute but the complex would set in on them.... 

[bonanza50]

"I'm tired of looking ordinary"

[skinhead002]

I started shaving my head in 1983 and really havent had too many snotty things said to me(other than friends kidding around). However, one of my favorite comebacks to twits stating the obvious(such as, "Hey, you're bald!) is, "Nothing gets by you does it? Your mind is a steel trap."  Stole it from a MASH episode

[bonanza50]

I use the generic:

"You figured that one out by yourself?"

for quick comebacks whenever needed. 

It really pisses people off because it stops them dead in their tracks.