Author Topic: Lost all confidence  (Read 8471 times)

Offline balddan

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Lost all confidence
« on: April 10, 2015, 01:39:02 PM »
Hey guys,

I've had a pretty awful year. I used to be the bright, full of life and energy, I used to be outgoing and fun. Now I'm the complete opposite. I'm anxious, I'm shy, I'm sad and depressed.

Not all of it has to do with going bald, but I think it has played a major part. I'm only 22 and already lost a lot of hair.

A lot of it has to do with the way with people look at me. Whilst I used to be able to attract attention (and girls). Now I seem to have the opposite effect. This has massively harmed my self confidence, which is almost nil. It's quite a vicious circle I have got into and I am having trouble breaking out of it.

Last summer a couple of my cousins suggesting shaving my head, but they're in their early 30s, with a darker complexion, tall and good looking. I'm much smaller, pale white and although I'm not bad looking, I'm most certainly not like them.

I have been thinking about it every now and then but I still feel like I am too young to have the shaved look. I'm only 22 and still got one year of college (university) left. Also a big blow to my self confidence has been being called much older than I look. People have mistaken me for a 30 year-old, which in this day and age where youth and beauty is valued, is quite hurtful.

All of this has happened in the space of a year or two and has completely changed my life.

Anyway - I'm considering shaving my head, trying to do the 30 day challenge which is spoken about on here and seeing how that goes.

What I'm really looking for is:
1. A "shaving for the first time" guide - I keep on reading about hundreds of different products, creams, gels, etc none of which I know.
2. Something to focus on for the next year - I realise that I've spent a lot of time worrying about my receding hair line, I've put on weight, my grades have dropped. I just don't know what to focus on in life though. I've lost a lot of sense of purpose.

Your time and advice is much appreciated! :)
« Last Edit: April 10, 2015, 01:57:15 PM by balddan »

Offline Mike E. P.

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Re: Lost all confidence
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2015, 06:19:16 PM »
Hi Dan,

I can relate to what you are saying.  I spent a lot of my time as a young man worrying about my hair loss and all the associated worries you are talking about.  It really did a number on me, too, and was very difficult for me. Like you, I am not a big guy, am pale, and had put on weight.  I can tell you that when I finally shaved my head in my thirties, these worries and anxieties went away very quickly.  I was finally able to focus on other things - important things.  I also got in shape.

I took me a long time to realize that being bald is not a big deal.  In fact, I've learned to like being a bald guy.  I am 51 and I can tell you it has not impacted me in a negative way.  Quite the contrary - shaving my head was a great decision.

And I know at 22, 30 seems old - but it isn't!  I would urge you to take the risk and shave or buzz your head.  Then give it the 30 days to get used to it.  You will be free of all these anxieties and you will be able to get on with life.  Stick around the Forum here and use these gentlemen for support.  Don't wait until your 30's like I did.
Bronx bald and bred!

Offline kalva76

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Re: Lost all confidence
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2015, 05:07:00 PM »

I agree, it is usually quite traumatic to see your own hair thin and recede.  I had never even buzzed my hair, let alone gone sly, by the time I reached the point where I had to do something. (On a side note, you mentioned weight gain and depression. I had the same symptoms, along with accelerated hair loss, which I now know were the signs of a thyroid problem. It wouldn't hurt to get that checked out if you haven't already. If it's that, getting it taken care of will truly change your world.)

If the idea of shaving is too much at first, go with a very short buzz cut. If you do decide to shave, use the razor and shaving cream you're already used to. (The only thing I usually recommend is adding Shave Secret, though, as it can make a difference between "I want to shave again," and "This isn't for me.")

Best of luck

Offline john1991

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Re: Lost all confidence
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2015, 11:48:20 AM »
Hey brother..Please read my story and you will feel much more better because we're almost the same.I'm 5'11 and a bit overweight.Getting your head shaved is a difficult decision in the first phase like some injection needle going in your body but as soon you get the first strike of trimmer on your head, you slowly start to think about it practically and embrace what's coming on for you.Slowly you will realize in your life that whats inside the head and body matters most.I did the same for first two years of my degree but forgot about scalp hair and  worked hard in last two and tried to compensate.When you'l be like 30 or so, you'll regret that your degree was not worth your hair-but above it.

People also assume me to be a 27-28 year old although i am only 24, i have been teased for looking older in university too of which i was depressed.I lost my confidence which is slowly coming back and i feel more energetic now.Now, I've shaved my head, totally given up masturbation & smoking and excercise a lot more and waiting for my hair to grow back.Believe me vices like masturbation will lower your self confidence(or maybe atleast for me).

I am 24 male from india and i had excessive dandruff like huge sticky lumps of dandruff and had excessive hair loss due to it.While bathing, combing after that and when i woke up in the morning..everytime hair loss.I was so much terrified of water and bathing(which i thought caused hairloss LOL) that i would bathe less often and could not even sleep properly to the point where i had a chronic insomnia and i could not remember last time i slept well-all of it worsened the hairloss+the tension of hairloss in my mind.

  There used to be excessive itching in my head and when i would scratch my head..again hairloss, i was teased for dandruff when i was in university.I used to feel so HOT in my head, just wanted to die or hide somewhere.

But, at last i got it shaved and now no more worries :D.I just wanted to share my experience.Feeling good and LIGHT now.No hair no hair loss.

I want to ask you guys, i don't know in which country you're living but in india its almost a taboo for a 24 yo to have a shaved head like you're like an alien among the young crowd. Here they say.. you keep on loosing it.. dont get it shaved and let hairloss from temples and top of head worsen which will look really bad like thick hair only on sides and thin in centre/top.

Please tell me how to deal with this shaved head when out in public?Or should i wear a cap for 1 month or so till it grows to #1 or 2 size?Will it affect an interview?
Cheers to all bald brothers!! O0
« Last Edit: April 12, 2015, 12:11:11 PM by john1991 »

Offline Freddie

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Re: Lost all confidence
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2015, 01:00:56 AM »
Don't worry buddy, i started going bald around 18. Now i'm 30 and have been shaving my head for a year and my only regret is i should have done it sooner. The shaved head look is so common nowadays it just looks normal. If you look on this thread you will even find guys with full heads of hair asking for head shaving tips because they just like the look.

 Get a bit of color on the dome from either the sun in the summer or an indoor tanning bed. You don't need to go overboard just hit it up a couple times a month. You can get nice bronzing lotions as well for cheap, check out "Jergens natural glow". Its an easy find.

 As for a routine, I'll tell you mine.

1. Exfoliate head with soap or anti bacterial body wash "Dial" brand (I sometimes get ingrown hairs)
2. Gillette fusion shave cream
3. Gillette fusion or Gillette proglide razor (Schick 5 hydro is great too)
4. Rinse with warm water to get all the shave cream off then cold water to close the pores
5. Rub on some witch hazel (In place of after shave)
6. When that dries i put on Clean & clear dual action moisturizer with 0.5% salicylic acid (Helps with little pimples/ingrown hairs)
« Last Edit: April 13, 2015, 01:06:01 AM by Freddie »

Offline A675

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Re: Lost all confidence
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2015, 12:13:02 PM »
Well you never really had true confidence to begin with. It was all just based on the acceptance of others and now that you feel that acceptance is gone so is your confidence. Most people are like that though and very few people actually have real confidence.

22 is not too young to shave your head. It doesn't matter if you're 22 or if you're 32.. it still fucks with your confidence. Even if you look good with a shaven head.....  it'll still mess with your confidence..  balding sucks plain and simple.... don't let these guys on here fool you.. none of them are shaving their heads because they love it.. they're doing it because they went bald.. if they could press a button and grow all their hair back - they'd all press that button 10 times..... but if that's the only thing you need to worry about then there's really not much to complain about.

But here are your options..

Razor shave it...
Buzz it to like 1/16'th...
Get scalp micro pigmentation done which basically just replicates the shadow of full head of shaven hair so that you don't look "bald". You'll just look like you want it that way.
Get a hair transplant.  - this one is not recommended unless you have very little hair loss.
Wear a hair piece - I personally would never do this but I have seen videos on you tube of guys as young as you wearing one and they are completely undetectable these days.

Out of all the solutions available to try to actually "fix it" though I would say scalp micro pigmentation is the best option.

Or like Joe Rogan says.. you could just leave it the f**k alone and let it be what it is. 

and you're most likely going to need some facial hair. very few guys can get away with a clean shaven face and a bald shaven head at the same time because you'll just end up look like a balloon. Even with a full head of hair facial hair makes guys look better anyway. It ads a lot of character to your face and makes you look tougher and more mature.. with a shaven head its even more important because it ads that character that you lost by not having hair and also draws attention away from your head..   and its been proven that females find guys with stubble more attractive than clean shaven faces.

I started losing my hair when I was around 26... luckily for me most of my hair loss was only at the very top of my head. My hair goes up high on the sides and wraps a bit over the top and fairly high in the back.. I just keep it buzzed really short because it still frames my face with a light beard / goatee. I don't like that stereotypical beard with clean shaven head bald guy look. I mean you're bald either way.. you're not fooling anyone by shaving your head so what's the point of looking like a skin head.

There's no guide to shaving your head.. put shaving cream on your head... go in the shower... and shave it.

And if you need a confidence booster or just some fun.. go to Thailand for 2 weeks...

I'm leaving in September. ;)

« Last Edit: April 14, 2015, 03:02:47 AM by A675 »


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