Author Topic: Feeling really down  (Read 5600 times)

Accepted

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Feeling really down
« on: October 19, 2012, 12:58:38 PM »
Hey guys,
               Been a while. Feeling really down and this is the only place where people can understand where i'm coming from and give me some advice so here goes:
               Last night I was in my room, just finishing off an assignment, doing my thing and my dad called me down and we were just talking and then he said 'you know this look with a little bit of hair suits you really well... don't shave it off.. keep a little with some scruff.. the totally shaven look doesn't suit you.. let me tell you, it doesnt't suit you.. this looks excellent'

ever since i've been a wreck.. I have my exams on Monday and don't feel like doing anything so i just ate some food n lay in bed sulking, crying and sleeping all day... the face is I don't have a choice in the matter and soon enough i won't have a choice but to shave it all off everyday (which i should have been doing already)..

so basically i let it grow a little bit for about two weeks and my dad and a friend of my mom's said the same thing, i.e. something along the lines of how this little shadow looks much better than a completely shaven head..

So my dad's words 'it doesn't suit you' keeps rining in my head and i've been down all day... I dunno how to deal with it. he's 55 and stilll has a perfect hairline..

just looking for some comforting advice other than 'it doesn't matter what other people think'.. unless that's all there is to it..

thanks in advance guys! hope you're all rockin' your slick n sly domes like badasses!



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Re: Feeling really down
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2012, 01:12:31 PM »
here's a pic of me with some fuzz

theman

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Re: Feeling really down
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2012, 01:31:18 PM »
I can relate  to that.  Maybe it is the fall blues.  What ever.  Sometime we are more sensitive than others.  You have alot on your mind with study's etc..I think we all like to please others and for sure our folks.  But it is what you want , and what makes you feel good.  And I have had some stuff going on and you are right there are many members here that speak the truth and also feel the same way as you and I .  I hope you are reading between the lines here and it is making since of what I am trying to say  ;).  But decisions suck at times, especially when there is so much on your mind. 

This to shall come to pass.   :)

Offline stasiu

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Re: Feeling really down
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2012, 01:37:55 PM »
Hang in there !  You are dealing with studies and your self-image and that is a large full plate.  A good cry does not hurt ... let the frustrations out.  You actually can let it grow a couple weeks and then shave it sly.  Go back and forth for right now if you want or just keep it totally smooth.  Your happiness is most important !

Offline leighmundo40

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Re: Feeling really down
« Reply #4 on: October 20, 2012, 03:13:00 AM »
Parents, family and friends sometimes have difficulty accepting changes in people. It unerves them and in some aspects reminds them that life changes and moves on.
I was with friends last night, one who hadn't seen me since I cropped off my hair, he looked and said "Grow it back!". I can get lots of positive comments, but a single non positive one stays with me for weeks (though I did notice that he has developed a significant bald spot on his crown..but didn't say anything!)

You look FINE with the stubble and without. Take a deep breath, calm yourself and try and think of the positives.

x

Offline Drainman66

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Re: Feeling really down
« Reply #5 on: October 20, 2012, 10:22:38 AM »
Listen kid if you can grow a full head of hair then do it if you can,make your father happy don't feel down and cry about it because your dad doesn't like your style. sh*t grow a ponytail put a earring in  and say hay dad how do you like this style, I bet he will still have something negative to say.

Offline leighmundo40

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Re: Feeling really down
« Reply #6 on: October 20, 2012, 11:11:21 AM »
 I don't think it'a case of "manning up" and getting over it! Family are the people who are supposed to fight our corner and stick up for us no matter what.

However, judging by your photo, you look like you still have the choice of having hair or not, so you can basically do whatever you want!

Grow it back, dye it bright blonde or pink..THEN people will say something!

Offline Bald Kahuna

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Re: Feeling really down
« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2012, 11:19:16 AM »
MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL...WHO IS THE FAIREST OF THEM ALL?

Please do not let others influence you...they are not being fair in letting you make your own choices. So what if your Dad has a full mane at 55...that is his thing.

Always remember: Young or Old...Bald is BOLD. Be BOLD and choose how you want to appear to others!
Bald Kahuna

marty22

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Re: Feeling really down
« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2012, 12:21:51 PM »
keep it shaved!

Offline buddha

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Re: Feeling really down
« Reply #9 on: October 20, 2012, 02:16:09 PM »
Something not touched on is your age and what your actual living arrangements are. Paying rent or living under dad's roof rent-free? If you're 18 and paying rent then how you "style" would seem to be your choice. If dad is paying the bills then it would appear that you're stuck with his input. Crying in bed about this is not only unproductive but shows the old man that he won which may be his goal.
"Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it never really care for anything else thereafter."
Ernest Hemingway, On The Blue Water.

Offline TunaSkin

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Re: Feeling really down
« Reply #10 on: November 03, 2012, 12:05:18 AM »
Hey Accepted,

       I know it's really hard to shake the opinion of somebody close to you, especially someone whose opinion you presumably value, like your Father's. However, I would still stay wear it how you want. This is something everyone has to deal with at some point in their lives, specifically, making their own decisions. God only knows what I would be doing if I had let my parent's decide for me. They wouldn't have wanted to anyway, but still. They occasionally make comments to me about how I should grow my hair back saying the usual "Hair has character" or "you look better". However, I feel better with a clean shaven head and in this matter I am the only person who matters. You're in the same position here.

    Also, I don't think this is a matter of whether or not you're paying rent or your living arrangements. The hair is growing on your head and you have the right to do whatever the hell you want with it. Don't feel bad about crying or anything you're feeling now. You're a young man and that has it's own set of unique challenges. Keep doing what you want and what you think you should be doing. Everything else will work itself out.

     Good luck to you, Brother
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”- Dale Carnegie

Offline Frontier Guy

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Re: Feeling really down
« Reply #11 on: November 03, 2012, 03:51:16 AM »
Accepted ... TunaSkin writes with good authority. If you haven't read his early posts you might want to - for him it wasn't just a matter of going Sly, he did so in a country with very different cultural standards. His is an interesting story with lots of validation for being true to your inner self.
"Sly can adapt to all surroundings!" - Wisdom from KG 8/19/2012

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Re: Feeling really down
« Reply #12 on: November 03, 2012, 01:14:10 PM »
Thanks a ton TunaSkin! I've read all posts on this forum I think so i'm familiar with your story and can imagine how much harder this would have been for me if I had to move to an Asian country meself...
But I realize there's no reason to feel bad.. i mean if a girl suddenly shaved her head i can imagine i'd react in a negative manner asking her to grow it back coz I guess we're just not used to it at first...

it's really normal to shave now and I don't sit the entire day feeling bad/sad and sulking. Had my graduation yesterday and people I hadn't seen in a long time loved the look! I had about 4 days of shadow so pretty bald i'd say ;))

Thanks for all your responses guys! My dad isn't trying to 'win' anything, he just commented without realizing how affected I was by it and is extremely sorry and I guess it's made me a lot stronger so i'm glad I went through that.

theman

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Re: Feeling really down
« Reply #13 on: November 04, 2012, 06:53:51 AM »
Good Job, Thanks for the update. 

 



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