Author Topic: Confidence Issues  (Read 11286 times)

Offline SAUCY SAUCE

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Confidence Issues
« on: October 10, 2012, 11:03:26 PM »
The other night I was at my friends house hanging out SLY for the first time. (i had been wearing hats around them for about three years to conceal my baldness.) To my surprise no one really even mentioned it, there were a few jokes but they didnt even bother me. Later on that night however, some girls showed up and without saying hi to anyone they skipped right over to me saying "omg Robbie, you look like a conehead". They then proceeded to take out their phones and take pictures of me, captioning them "conehead robbie" and putting them on Instagram. The whole night those girls called me conehead, and when a few more girls arrived, the girls introduced me as conehead. I tried playing along but it started to really get to me. Here I am trying to be confident and show the world that I am bald and i got crushed and shattered. My guy friends all hit it off with the girls, and i just sat there and watched, it made me feel inferior and that i should have wore a hat.

Prior to this ordeal i had been feeling more confident about my looks, but now i feel that im back to square one. I was already having a tough time with confidence with girls, and this just made matters worse. Now everytime i see a girl i want to possibly date, "conehead" is the first thing that comes to mind, and probably hers too.  :-[

how do i get over this and move on??? i know its not helping me any just sitting here thinking about it.






Offline Paul the Headblader

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Re: Confidence Issues
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2012, 12:05:05 AM »
Although being bald is not such a big deal, some persons seem to be amazed when they see it for the first time.
All you can do when this happens, is to go with it, and the persons that were only joking about it will stop, and the persons that have a problem with your shaved ehad will get bored, seeing that you enjoy the "jokes".
And think of it like that: The  chicks ignored the others, and went straight to you, because you were somehow...diffrent. Make that count.
be who you are, say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter




Offline Frontier Guy

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Re: Confidence Issues
« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2012, 04:44:44 AM »
I know it's difficult when it happens. I think it's just a matter of lack of maturity.

Although stereotypical (which I prefer not to do) it does seem that many people in late teens and early 20s are focused on superficial traits and may be insensitive (intentional or otherwise). Bald, fat, speech impediment, wrong brand of shoes, wrong color of shirt, unpopular music style, etc. It is what it is and you just have to "let it go" and rise above and recognize you are the more mature individual. Time and life experience will reduce the frequency of such encounters.

You need to reinforce your belief that the right girls will come along who will appreciate you for your qualities versus focusing on a single characteristic which really means very little.

When you have good encounters take a moment to savor them and to store that feeling in your mind, so that when a bad encounter comes along you can recall the good to counteract the effect. I do that when working customer service. I've got dozens of great experiences stored away that I can call upon anytime I have an unpleasant encounter. Immediately brings me back to zero.

And remember that you know the real you, you know the decision to go Sly was appropriate for you, and you are the better person. Confidence and self-respect take time to establish and reinforce, but it's worth it. Don't let one evening take control of your emotions.
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Slynito

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Re: Confidence Issues
« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2012, 06:03:54 AM »
Sorry you had a bad time, SS. We always run the risk of a confrontation with an offensive, rude and inconsiderate moron on life's journey. I even ran into one of these insecure jerks yesterday. We just have to let it go and move on and they need to get a life.

Why should I care what other people think of me?
I am who I am. And who I wanna be. Avril Lavigne


 O0

Offline waine

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Re: Confidence Issues
« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2012, 06:24:45 AM »
Well said Frontier Guy...

Hey there Saucy.  I cannot keep my mouth shut when someone has a dig at me.  It is just how I am wired.  If I were there I would have hoped one of those girls had a fat arse so I could take a pic and put it on Instagram.  I know it is not the better thing to do.  To ignore them is the "right / rational" response, but I love a good argument some times.  If their buts are not fat then there will be some defect on their bodies: flat chest, big ears, pimples, anything you can make a comeback on!  It's very rare that a hot babe will mock like that.  Sometimes you must give it straight back.  It’s all part of the Sly confident thing --  not taking Crap from anyone!

But sometimes this attitude only comes with age, when your life partner has squeezed all her puppies, and you care less...
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theman

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Re: Confidence Issues
« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2012, 10:58:08 AM »
If things affect you such as what was said.  Do not let it be shown .  Have fun with it. And smile and soon it will be dropped.  Chicks are dirty when they can bring someone down , those who do have very little self confidance themselves.  So if they act this was they think people aren't looking at them.  Always act cool, look good , walk tall , and ignore childish crap. 

Offline mark

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Re: Re: Confidence Issues
« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2012, 11:54:50 AM »
What are the ages of these girls?
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theman

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Re: Confidence Issues
« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2012, 03:19:21 PM »
Sounds like ugly 3rd graders to me.   O:O

Offline SAUCY SAUCE

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Re: Confidence Issues
« Reply #8 on: October 11, 2012, 04:49:52 PM »
Thanks for the advice guys, the ages of the girls were 23...i guess with time girls will be more accepting of my head. I just have to be patient and not expect chicks to be into me until later on in life. Until then i will work on other things, such as my self confidence and being a beast on the guitar. r*%

theman

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Re: Confidence Issues
« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2012, 06:14:24 PM »
Thanks for the advice guys, the ages of the girls were 23...i guess with time girls will be more accepting of my head. I just have to be patient and not expect chicks to be into me until later on in life. Until then i will work on other things, such as my self confidence and being a beast on the guitar. r*%
Thar ya go and Rock On Bro.. And remember What Goes Around Comes Around  ;) O:O  !  Badda Bing !!!

Offline goingbald20

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Re: Confidence Issues
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2012, 12:19:31 AM »
Bro, I understand 100% what you're feeling and what you are trying to say because I am currently dealing with it. I know what you mean when you say that one day everything seems perfect, and then the next day someone's comments can ruin your whole day.

I actually posted a post a couple weeks ago about the issue with girls making fun of me going bald and the cone-head comments. I am shaved down to a 0, which "camouflage" my head and makes it look like I am not losing any hair, for now. So, I would say I am 95% there... just 5% more to be Sly, but for some reason I still dont have the courage to do it yet.

Some people just will tell you not to pay attention to some of the comments people make, but its hard to not let those comment bother you, specially when those comments are from girls and you are at a party, or at a club, and all of the girls are going with the guys who have a full head of hair and not with the "baldie". Specially at our age, that's  what makes it more difficult for us to understand, is the age... girls at our age can be very immature sometimes, unfortunately.

Unfortunately, there is not anything we can do... at least for now about our hairloss..., best thing that I would reccomend to you, since I know how you are feeling... is that you can use all that negative energy that people make you feel sometimes, turn it around and use it for positive things. Find motivational/inspiration speakers, there is alot out there.

Also, work on trying to achieve success. I believe that Success should be everyone's main goal in life, because think about it when you achieve success, nothing else would come between you and success.... and definitely you will attract anything you want .

It has been actually been working for me now, since I am barely going out anymore, because I dont feel 100% confident yet to go out with my new "look" then I am using all of the time to instruct, motivate, and learn about success everything I can and trust me it has been working and now I feel more motivated, and my self-confidence is slowly improving everyday. Think about this,  Lets say In 5-10 years you become very successful, while the people who have been putting you down are going to basically be living miserable lifes..... while they are living miserably you will be  definitely attracting everything you want by then, and it will all be thanks to that success.

In other words, what I am trying to say is focus in YOU, in achieving success in anything you want and desire in your life, and by the time you reach those level of success, everything will start coming on its own.

I will reccomend you to watch  this guy, he has helped me tremendously, what I did was to watch all the videos in his channel from the beginning to end, and now I feel different because of the way I think and see things in life now.

This is his first video in his channel,



You should watch all of his videos from the oldest ones to the newest ones, and you will slowly begin to understand alot of about success and motivation. Take a look at his channel trust me pretty soon you will see result, it really does help.

Good luck bro.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2012, 12:24:49 AM by goingbald20 »

Offline Sir Harry

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Re: Confidence Issues
« Reply #11 on: October 12, 2012, 08:33:29 AM »
Saucy and GB20....That's one thing I like about this forum is the fact that when you share a story, there's a good chance someone went through something similar.....But just remember, success is the best revenge, and you guys will find that special someone....Good luck guys.
Even when the d is removed, the devil is still evil.

Offline mark

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Re: Re: Confidence Issues
« Reply #12 on: October 12, 2012, 11:17:32 AM »
Dude,what is the youth coming to? Girls that are I their twenties are this rude? These are not your friends. I know plenty of girls that get wet panties for bald guys. Tons of them! These are very immature people and they give you a hard time because they are insecure about themselves. I say find different people to hang out with if this crap keeps up. Keep shaving your head,daily,then you won't show much "pattern "baldness," then you shouldn't be too self conscious. The more comfortable you get with being bald,the better off you will be. Sometimes being able to make fun of yourself will shut assholes down as well.

If none of this works,put Nair in their shampoo bottles and rogaine on their toilet seats.
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Offline Baldstu

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Re: Confidence Issues
« Reply #13 on: October 12, 2012, 11:31:41 AM »
Very rude girls , sounds like trolling and a very immature attitude.  Treat it with indifference , they are not your friends .

Offline TunaSkin

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Re: Confidence Issues
« Reply #14 on: November 03, 2012, 12:32:14 AM »
Saucy,

     you hit the nail on the head with your idea about doing other things to build your confidence. I mentioned this in another post on another thread, but I make it a point to not let my level of confidence be too tied up in any one thing. Especially not whether or not I have hair on my head!! One thing I think is a huge booster is getting your body in good physical condition. Take good care of yourself and people will notice that. Not only that, but more importantly YOU will feel better and that will build real confidence that can't be easily shaken. That's the kind you want. Real confidence.

   Look at guys like George St. Pierre and Anderson Silva from the UFC. Do you think those guys walk around with their heads down because they have bald heads? Do you think they would let some little girls comments bother them at all? Hell no! Because they've built some real confidence. That's what you need to do too. I'm not suggesting you try to become a world champion fighter (unless you want to!) but you do need to work hard on things that are going to build your confidence in a similar way and one thing that has always helped me is being in good shape. That's all.

   About those 23 year old girls...dude, let me just tell you. 23 year old girls don't know sh*t about ANYTHING. Forget you even met those girls because their silly little comments are absolutely nothing.

     
   Good luck to you, Brother
 
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”- Dale Carnegie

 



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