Author Topic: The acceptance process  (Read 8869 times)

Offline peteman9

  • PeteDiLo
  • Learning the way of Sly
  • *
  • Posts: 5
  • Country: 00
    • petedilorenzo.com
The acceptance process
« on: May 17, 2012, 08:50:26 PM »
I am 26 and just recently shaved my head after about 5 years of trying different vitamins and hair restoration systems that just didn't work. I figured I would get a head start on the inevitable loss of more and more hair. So this is all new to me and I'm just beginning the whole process of transitioning into the world of being a bald guy. I see on many other posts how comfortable a lot of you are with yourselves and you have clearly not only accepted your baldness, but revel in it! I think it's inspiring.

What I want to read up on (just cause I think it would make me feel better) is an in depth explanation about the whole psychological process that one goes through, from the signs of balding to denial to acceptance etc. Can anyone give me their story from the beginning and what your thought process was like throughout the months and years to come? Does anyone know of any great articles or books on the subject?

I would really like some insight into how becoming a bald man effects people's lives. I do believe that bald men (especially those who lose their hair at a young age) have a certain advantage over people who keep their hair throughout their lives. And that is that we go through the feeling of loss and start to feel the effects of aging earlier than others, giving us a new sense of maturity and a profound appreciation for beauty and life.

I have no doubt in my mind that when I can reach the final acceptance of everything, I will be a stronger person and flourish in everything that I do. And for that, I will thank god for adding this experience that has changed my life



Offline kalbo

  • Sly Bureau
  • *****
  • Posts: 1244
  • Country: ph
Re: The acceptance process
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2012, 09:18:30 PM »
Welcome to the bald brotherhood Peteman. Let me be the 1st to say that you look bald. I could not give you any insight on the experience of natural hairloss since I have a full head of hair and I chose to shave it smooth. I love the feeling of freedom that being bald brings. People around me say I look neat and cool and that it highlights my facial features. I am sure a lot of our brothers here are more than willing to give you the advice, insights and support you need. Best regards.
Mabuhay ang mga kalbo!

Offline Lynchy

  • Sly Bureau
  • *****
  • Posts: 1222
Re: The acceptance process
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2012, 02:47:52 AM »
Welcome.!

Sorry cant reference anything off the top of my head but if I read anything relevant I will post it up!
Lynchy

Offline Mikekoz13

  • Sure you can rub it... all the girls want to...
  • Sly Moderator
  • Sly Nobility
  • *****
  • Posts: 8630
  • Country: us
Re: The acceptance process
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2012, 04:50:08 AM »
Welcome to the Forum, Pete!

I'm a no BS guy so don't take my story as being a smartass. This is pretty much how it was for me:

1) When I was about 12 years old I looked at my Dad who was 36 years old and balding very badly (typical male pattern baldness). Photos of my Grandfather (Dad's Dad) showed that he wore a toilet seat hair style for years.
2) I realized what was in the cards for me for my hair in the future.
3) I went outside and played baseball.
4) When I became an adult my hair got thinner and thinner and then one day I just shaved it off.
5) Showed new shiny head to wife and kids. Son cried. I laughed.
6) We went to lunch.

My point... it's never been a big deal to me. There are so many bigger problems in the world than Mikekoz 13 (or anyone else) losing his hair.
"What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?" W.C. Fields

Offline Sir Harry

  • Sly Kegler
  • Sly Moderator
  • Sly Nobility
  • *****
  • Posts: 5646
  • Country: us
    • Facebook-Add me!
Re: The acceptance process
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2012, 06:19:26 AM »
Welcome to the group, Pete....Been down that road of losing hair at young age (27 or 28). Tried to fight it for about eight years then four years ago went sly permanently...and I've been happy ever since!
Even when the d is removed, the devil is still evil.

Offline Morton

  • Sly Jr.
  • **
  • Posts: 44
Re: The acceptance process
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2012, 07:19:56 AM »
My abbreviated story.

My father had a bad comb-over and I'd heard stories of how my grandfather had been bald at 19 or whatever. Even so I never thought I'd go bald. I really had great hair and perfect for the time, think George Michael, Simon le Bon and the lead singer of Japan. I was also quite a good looking guy and popular with the ladies. I denied my genes, baldness wasn't for me.

Anyway when I was 17 I went to the Med on holiday. I noticed on coming back my hair wasn't quite what it used to be but I blamed it on the sand. In reality I had probably started balding. For some reason my baldness progressed quite slowly. I never had a bald spot my hair just slowly thinned. I went abroad to live when I was 27 and came back a few years later with similar hair. My friends told me that they thought I'd be bald. If anything my hair had gotten thicker. I don't know why this happened, maybe diet, maybe genes, probably luck.

I was 29 when my first child was born. I have a decent head of hair in the pictures but baldness was in the back of my mind. My real balding or second balding phase seemed to start around this time. I cut my hair short so again with no actual bald spot it wasn't so noticeable. Then when I was 35 I went to a wedding. On seeing the pictures I was shocked. I basically had the beginnings of a comb-over though I didn't even realise it (still had no bald spot though). In disgust at myself for allowing such a ridiculous hairstyle I just went to the sink and shaved my head bald.

And you know what I wasn't apprehensive or scared and I've loved it from day one. That's it, balding is over for me, bad hair days are over for me, comb overs are over for me and sunscreens are well in for me.

In saying all that. When I really went bald I was at an age/time of my life when it didn't matter as much as it might have. I was married and had sowed my oats so to speak. And when I shaved my head I was self-employed so I didn't have to worry about what bosses/co-workers thought. I might have found it more difficult were I younger.

I will say one thing. Although I would have loved to have kept my hair going bald wasn't super traumatic for me. But as I know that going bald is extremely traumatic for many, many men I do worry about my own son's reaction. I am really more worried about my son's probable baldness than I was about my own. I also live in a hairy country. My youngest just graduated kindergarten in a class of 26. The other fathers are probably in their 30s and 40s. I am the only father in the class who is in any way bald. Every other father has a full head of hair as far as I could see.

Offline Goodfishfrancis

  • Sly Guy in Training
  • *
  • Posts: 12
  • Bold. Brilliant. Beautiful. Bald.
Re: The acceptance process
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2012, 10:28:02 AM »
Welcome to the SBG, Peteman! You look great, dude. Nothing to worry about ;)
Sly guy since 5/15/2012 and loving it.

Offline Mr Jules

  • Sly Bureau
  • *****
  • Posts: 1725
  • Country: gb
  • Same great sly look. Every day.
    • You Tube channel
Re: The acceptance process
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2012, 11:38:09 AM »
Agree with the others.

There's nothing to accept. You look great.

Offline mangosink12572

  • Team Sly
  • Sly Bureau
  • ******
  • Posts: 1242
  • Country: us
  • Wonderful SHINY BALD
Re: The acceptance process
« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2012, 12:09:39 PM »
Mr. Jules is right on target - - -

Don't you know that mother nature made just so many perfect heads - -the rest she covered with hair.

I feel so proud and lucky to be one of the perfect ones  - - - -and so are you.

Offline Slyfive

  • Human Torpedo!
  • Sly Bureau
  • *****
  • Posts: 1217
  • Better to be bald than balding
    • My Band The DeLoreans
Re: The acceptance process
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2012, 02:43:03 PM »
Pete, first of all, you look great, secondly, your intro shows that you are in an excellent mental state to accept and enjoy balding, this really will help. I was pretty torn up when I started balding (started receding at 18, now 23), and I became very withdrawn... But bald is entirely different to balding, it's freedom!

Offline IllinoisBaldy

  • Sly
  • ***
  • Posts: 207
  • Country: us
Re: The acceptance process
« Reply #10 on: May 19, 2012, 06:43:20 AM »
Welcome Pete

marty22

  • Guest
Re: The acceptance process
« Reply #11 on: May 19, 2012, 10:30:47 AM »
welcome Peteman!

Offline RoWilJr

  • Team Sly
  • Ultimate Sly Guy
  • ******
  • Posts: 867
  • SlyStyle...Get your Shine on!!!
Re: Re: The acceptance process
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2012, 11:08:46 AM »
Welcome to SBG Peteman!

Cheers,
Ro

Offline peteman9

  • PeteDiLo
  • Learning the way of Sly
  • *
  • Posts: 5
  • Country: 00
    • petedilorenzo.com
Re: The acceptance process
« Reply #13 on: June 01, 2012, 11:37:58 PM »
Thanks everyone for their replies! It feels good to be in a bald world. Things are so crazy in the mixed world where everyone has different hair styles! It's funny how at first, as with race, people have a generalized view of that group of people (like they all look pretty much the same), but then later realize that within that group there are so many other distinguishing features other than the obvious. I always feel that people look at us and their first impression is that we are bald. Then after that, they can see our other features, both physical and personality-wise.

My phase in the acceptance process, I guess, is that baldness is at the forefront of my mind and I'm overthinking everything! I now notice more and more bald guys in my day-to-day life, but I'm also just thinking more and more about how other people are seeing me. Is being a bald guy their first impression of me? If it is than what do they think about it and how does that effect how they will talk to me? How does it effect how I talk to other people? When does the time come when I can forget about how I look and just accept that for the rest of my life I'm gonna wear the same hair style and have a very distinguishing physical feature that stands out in a crowd of people?

Offline Oracle

  • Sly Jr.
  • **
  • Posts: 66
Re: The acceptance process
« Reply #14 on: June 02, 2012, 01:07:57 AM »
Peteman, you're going to be alright!  You just need to work on your confidence a little.  A shaved head head is just another "hair" style so you don't need to worry about standing out because of it.  Actually, you would stand a bigger chance of standing out in a crowd if you were a young man sporting a comb-over or a horseshoe.

I knew from a very young age that I'd lose my hair.  I prayed that it wouldn't happen until I turned gray.  Be careful what you wish for because I turned gray very young and my hair thinned rapidly.  I swore that I would not go the comb-over route so I wore ball caps everywhere 24/7 (practically) for many years.  Many of my closest friends had never seen me without a cap on my head.

Last year, while on vacation, I just decided that I had had enough!  I had been reading these boards for a couple of years, yes that's right, a couple of years and I excused myself, went into the bathroom, took out my clippers and peeled what little hair I had left off of my head.  I then jumped in the shower and proceeded to shaved my head slick.  Nobody knew what I was doing!   Not even my wife and daughter.  Guess what?  Everybody thought that it suited me!  I will soon celebrate my first year anniversary of being Sly and the only thing I miss about going to the barber shop is the banter going on while waiting for your turn.

I disagree with your comment about bald men learning to face losses earlier and dealing with the aging process better than our counterparts since we have already been through  a part of it.   MPB does not mean that we have aged any faster than a person with a full head of hair.  I have my 52nd birthday coming in about 8 days and though my sight isn't wh it used to be and I have a myriad of other ailments including a chronic illness, I still feel like that 25 year-old dragging in at 4:00 AM every weekend morning.

Jim

 



Enter your email address:


Sly Bald Guys mines crypto currency in your browser to help support the costs of the site. To learn more and opt-out go HERE