Author Topic: Really struggling at the moment  (Read 4821 times)

Offline anton86

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Really struggling at the moment
« on: April 07, 2012, 04:38:42 PM »
I am really struggling with confidence at the moment. I have been feeling bad for a few months now but today I feel at my lowest point. My "friends" joke about my appearance and how surprised they that a woman might like me.

I just laugh it off but it really kills me inside and I don't know how to reverse this feeling.

Anyone got any ideas or good books that they have read on this subject?

Thanks
Anthony



Offline buddha

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Re: Really struggling at the moment
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2012, 06:21:23 PM »
My "friends" joke about my appearance and how surprised they that a woman might like me.
I don't know how to reverse this feeling.
Anyone got any ideas?
Thanks
Anthony

Perhaps some new friends.

A little book that I read years ago when I was going through a rough patch was entitled "I'm OK, You're OK". I don't know whether or not it's still in print but pretty sure it can be gotten on Amazon or ebay. I read it because, basically, I had nothing better to do at the time and it ended up making a huge difference.

Sometimes some solitude is good as well. No tv, no distractions. Just think, maybe do some writing.
"Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it never really care for anything else thereafter."
Ernest Hemingway, On The Blue Water.

Offline stasiu

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Re: Really struggling at the moment
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2012, 06:54:39 PM »
Hi Anthony,

Happy Easter !  Just relax.  We all hit bumps in the road.  Your mates can not change but you can change your mates !  Stay strong and keep that special smile !  SBG reaches out everywhere and wants you to feel good in your special way !   

Offline Razor X

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Re: Really struggling at the moment
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2012, 07:54:32 PM »
I am really struggling with confidence at the moment. I have been feeling bad for a few months now but today I feel at my lowest point. My "friends" joke about my appearance and how surprised they that a woman might like me.


That's just something that guys do to each other  They'll make jokes about how ugly someone in the group is, but doesn't mean that they really think that. In fact, they probably wouldn't say it if it really were true.  Are you sure you're not taking things just a little too much to heart?  You're right to laugh it off.  We all have insecurities.  It gets easier with time. Hang in there.

Offline chgobuzzbald

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Re: Really struggling at the moment
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2012, 11:03:02 PM »
Maybe things are different in the UK but the key is always being confident in what and who you are, and liking that. If you project to everyone you feel damaged or cheated or victimized because you dont have as much hair as others then people will sense that and react to it. SOme will use it to make themselves feels better about who/what they are and others will just feel that you are not someone they want to be around. You have to let go of the fear and victimization of being bald. Surely there must be guys in your town with shaved heads ?  At work ? School ?  SHops ?  Your pictures look great. Find things about yourself that make you feel confident and successful or build some if you dont have them yet. As far as women tell your mates you know how to use a shaved head to great advantage in bed and women love it ;). I could be graphic but you get the idea of what a smooth shaved head can do in bed in between ............ ? 

It all starts with your own thoughts, every day remind yourself you are losing any thoughts of fear or being a victim due to hair loss. Then go out and do what makes you happy and successful. The women will sense that and come after you. Also keep your head fully shaved smooth.

Offline Paul the Headblader

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Re: Really struggling at the moment
« Reply #5 on: April 07, 2012, 11:56:51 PM »
find out about their defects and kick it in.
Or simply, change your friends. they don't match the definition.
be who you are, say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter




Offline Baldstu

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Re: Really struggling at the moment
« Reply #6 on: April 08, 2012, 06:44:23 AM »
Your instincts are correct laugh it of and treasure yourself

Offline Mikekoz13

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Re: Really struggling at the moment
« Reply #7 on: April 08, 2012, 08:03:44 AM »
Get some better Friends.

Read... "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale.
"What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?" W.C. Fields

Offline anton86

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Re: Really struggling at the moment
« Reply #8 on: April 08, 2012, 01:13:14 PM »
Thank you all for your advice. I think I will have to find some new friends. I am all for friendly banter between friends but all the same thing all the time over and over just becomes too much and is effecting my confidence as I believe them.

The only thing that I bothering me is how to make new friends, I guess local sports clubs etc will be a good start.

Offline Krimson

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Re: Really struggling at the moment
« Reply #9 on: April 08, 2012, 05:57:34 PM »
that's the spirit. You can't change your family but you CAN change your friends O0

Offline balddaniel

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Re: Really struggling at the moment
« Reply #10 on: April 08, 2012, 06:06:13 PM »
Anthony,

You have nothing to worry about.  You are a very handsome guy, maybe they are just jealous.  You should go ahead and shave your head, I guarantee that you self confidence will go through the roof.  I know mine did.  People often tell me when they have seen a picture with haid that I look better with hair.  I disagree.  I love being bald and I shave everyday, sometimes twice.  I will never go back, sly for life.  :@`

Offline D.A.L.U.I.

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Re: Really struggling at the moment
« Reply #11 on: April 08, 2012, 06:47:58 PM »
how to make new friends?
Try finding and  working with people who have needs you can fufill, people who care for the welfare of others, and those whose focus is health and growth of your community. 

Offline Paul

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Re: Really struggling at the moment
« Reply #12 on: April 09, 2012, 11:39:35 AM »
In my experience, people who put others down do so to draw attention away from their faults and problems.   Look for confident, caring, and giving people around you, those are the ones to have as friends.
"...and I--I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."  Robert Frost

Offline BaldHDbiker

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Re: Really struggling at the moment
« Reply #13 on: April 09, 2012, 12:18:41 PM »
In my experience, people who put others down do so to draw attention away from their faults and problems.   Look for confident, caring, and giving people around you, those are the ones to have as friends.

Excellent advice.



Offline mrzed

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Re: Really struggling at the moment
« Reply #14 on: April 09, 2012, 01:30:25 PM »
Thank you all for your advice. I think I will have to find some new friends. I am all for friendly banter between friends but all the same thing all the time over and over just becomes too much and is effecting my confidence as I believe them.

The only thing that I bothering me is how to make new friends, I guess local sports clubs etc will be a good start.

Finding new friends can be a challenge, but it is worth it.

Finding good friends is also challenging, but it is worth it.  I'm always on the scout.  It has paid off.

When you find someone that you think might make a good friend, work hard at building the relationship.




 



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