Author Topic: "How women really feel about bald men"  (Read 58162 times)

Offline Jack21

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Re: "How women really feel about bald men"
« Reply #15 on: January 01, 2011, 01:25:40 PM »
Yes, I think the issues are way more in my head than on my head. This was an isolated "insult". Nobody has said anything negative about my shaved head in quite a long time. This girl was young. She must be about 22 or 23. Other than this woman the negative comments really went away a while ago.
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Offline TheSlyBear

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Re: "How women really feel about bald men"
« Reply #16 on: January 01, 2011, 01:47:20 PM »
It also sounds like she wasn't seeing your head at its sly best.

Offline jagger111

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Re: "How women really feel about bald men"
« Reply #17 on: January 01, 2011, 04:15:40 PM »
Yes, I think the issues are way more in my head than on my head. This was an isolated "insult". Nobody has said anything negative about my shaved head in quite a long time. This girl was young. She must be about 22 or 23. Other than this woman the negative comments really went away a while ago.

Glad to hear things have calmed down Jack.  Like I mentioned in another thread, the look suits you as well as anyone I have seen.  I myself am heading down the MPB road and I hope to look as well as  yourself and some of the other guys here.

For now the reading of the forums is quite a education and is helping me realize that when I get the balls to take control of MPB it will not be the end of the world.

Offline RyanJP

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Re: "How women really feel about bald men"
« Reply #18 on: January 01, 2011, 09:08:18 PM »
Jack, you just stepped over a snake.  That woman sounds like she worked for NASA in Houston, a total space cadet!  She had to be blond, just had to be.  ;D ;D ;D

Now that's funny.

Offline TheBaldAndBeautiful

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Re: "How women really feel about bald men"
« Reply #19 on: January 03, 2011, 07:40:14 AM »
I've been on vacation and so very lazy about shaving. I don't think I've shaved in about 10 days. I was at the gym today. I hardly ever talk to anyone at the gym. I mean almost never. Today my ipod died and so I couldn't hide. There was a girl trying to figure out how to switch the height on the seat for the hammer strength incline after I got off. I went back and showed her and we started talking about blah blah. It turns out that we have some 6 degree connection thing - my sister in law went to HS with her. She started talking about going to some club tonight and how I shoudl come along. I took off my hat for a second to wipe off my brow w/o even thinking about it, and her face went pale. She said "Oh. You're bald." Before I knew how to respond she said "They don't allow hats at the club we're going to". I said something like "Oh that's cool. I'm getting too old for the club scene anyway."

I learned two things.

1. Don't get lazy about shaving on vacation
2. Don't wear a hat to the gym


Guess her loss then..

Offline Arnie

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Re: "How women really feel about bald men"
« Reply #20 on: January 03, 2011, 11:45:19 AM »
The woman in my life loves it and wouldn't want me any other way... :@`

Offline crazy.irish.celt

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Re: "How women really feel about bald men"
« Reply #21 on: January 07, 2011, 01:57:51 AM »
I agree.  If you hit the gym and buff-up with some cardio, get a new pair of clothes, you'd have all the chicks on you.  Some guys don't understand that.  Shave, hit the gym, get new clothes and women will fall over you.  Hitting the iron builds more testosterone and more confidence within yourself.

Wow, I thought this post was never gonna get a reply, then I check it after a coulple weeks and suddenly we're talking about one of the least important parts.

I would have to agree with the above from the standpoint that a good self image is essential to building confidence, and confidence in turn is a key to attracting and especially *maintaining the attention of your relationship interests.  However, I think most people missed what I was getting at when I mentioned the physical make-up of 'Alex'. 

My point was that most people who lose their hair eventually adopt the mantra 'I can't control what's happening on the top of my head, so I may as well change everything else about me for the better to compensate', but this attitude, while complimentary, shouldn't IMO be the focus of 'getting over' your hairloss.  The basic train of thought, broken down into its bare components, is still "I have a problem (hairloss), I must do something???, I will get a hair transplant and take drugs / I will work out, tan, and buy nice clothes'  It's the same thing, and people will always argue which solution is better.  If I say Alex has success with women, people instinctively want to copy him to have the same type of success, and the first thing we usually see and focus on is physical image.  "If I can do that, it will be ok."  But it won't, until you do some work inside. (I feel like a cheesey guidance counselor for saying all this).

Some people will never be able to tan (me), some people will never be able to build large quantities of muscle no matter how much they eat/lift, some people can't afford name-brand clothes.  What then?  Are they just screwed? 

No.  Because you have to fix it in your head before you fix it any other way.  Even if you manage to achieve the perfect physique and wardrobe, you are still susceptible to let-down via the nature of life.  No matter how many jokes and come-backs you try to arm yourslef with, you're still vulnerable to insecurity until you BELIEVE that hairloss isn't a handicap.  What this guy I described looks like/dresses like shouldn't matter AT ALL. What does matter is the fact that there is a bald guy out there who isn't single.  If you can accept that this can happen to you too, having no way to draw a comparison between yourslef and Alex, with nothing to go on besides the fact that the dude has a chick that likes him for who he is, then perhaps you will find some measure of peace.  If not, then I hope nothing else happens to you in this life to ruin your new body, clothes, or skin. Personally, I feel more secure knowing that my confidence is derived from something that can't be taken away from me.

Offline Jack21

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Re: "How women really feel about bald men"
« Reply #22 on: January 07, 2011, 08:39:02 AM »
Very insightful commentary. I wish I could say that I don't  engage in what can only be called hyper-compensatory behavior i.e. obsession with exercise, diet, clothing (everything that I can control that I think will make me look "better"). There's obviously nothing wrong with taking care of oneself by eating well and exercising, but sometimes obsession with it as a means of compensation makes it clear to me that I still see my shaved head as something of a defect or handicap. I have always been a bit obsessive about diet and exercise and outward appearance in general. I spent a lot of my life surrounded by some pretty shallow and superficial people. I really, really, really wish that I could reach a point of serenity, of complete acceptance. It seems to me that many on this site have reached that point and have gone beyond that point. Many regular posters here are not only at peace with their sly heads but are proud to be sly. I wish I could be like that. I wish that I didn't throw a baseball cap on when I go to the gym. I suppose that it has not been all that long. I am making progress - I mean a couple of months ago I would barely leave my "office" at work. Now I am completely comfortable around my students and work associates. BUT I still throw on a baseball cap when I go to the gym. There's nothing wrong with wearing a cap to the gym in of itself. I always used to wear a cap to the gym when I had hair. Now,  however, it seems that if I am to take the next step I need to stop the baseball cap thing.


I agree.  If you hit the gym and buff-up with some cardio, get a new pair of clothes, you'd have all the chicks on you.  Some guys don't understand that.  Shave, hit the gym, get new clothes and women will fall over you.  Hitting the iron builds more testosterone and more confidence within yourself.

Wow, I thought this post was never gonna get a reply, then I check it after a coulple weeks and suddenly we're talking about one of the least important parts.

I would have to agree with the above from the standpoint that a good self image is essential to building confidence, and confidence in turn is a key to attracting and especially *maintaining the attention of your relationship interests.  However, I think most people missed what I was getting at when I mentioned the physical make-up of 'Alex'. 

My point was that most people who lose their hair eventually adopt the mantra 'I can't control what's happening on the top of my head, so I may as well change everything else about me for the better to compensate', but this attitude, while complimentary, shouldn't IMO be the focus of 'getting over' your hairloss.  The basic train of thought, broken down into its bare components, is still "I have a problem (hairloss), I must do something???, I will get a hair transplant and take drugs / I will work out, tan, and buy nice clothes'  It's the same thing, and people will always argue which solution is better.  If I say Alex has success with women, people instinctively want to copy him to have the same type of success, and the first thing we usually see and focus on is physical image.  "If I can do that, it will be ok."  But it won't, until you do some work inside. (I feel like a cheesey guidance counselor for saying all this).

Some people will never be able to tan (me), some people will never be able to build large quantities of muscle no matter how much they eat/lift, some people can't afford name-brand clothes.  What then?  Are they just screwed? 

No.  Because you have to fix it in your head before you fix it any other way.  Even if you manage to achieve the perfect physique and wardrobe, you are still susceptible to let-down via the nature of life.  No matter how many jokes and come-backs you try to arm yourslef with, you're still vulnerable to insecurity until you BELIEVE that hairloss isn't a handicap.  What this guy I described looks like/dresses like shouldn't matter AT ALL. What does matter is the fact that there is a bald guy out there who isn't single.  If you can accept that this can happen to you too, having no way to draw a comparison between yourslef and Alex, with nothing to go on besides the fact that the dude has a chick that likes him for who he is, then perhaps you will find some measure of peace.  If not, then I hope nothing else happens to you in this life to ruin your new body, clothes, or skin. Personally, I feel more secure knowing that my confidence is derived from something that can't be taken away from me.
A sword unto Gideon and unto God

Offline crazy.irish.celt

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Re: "How women really feel about bald men"
« Reply #23 on: January 07, 2011, 11:46:00 AM »
Jack, I agree wholeheartedly that caring for your body and taking the time to dress your best are great pursuits, regardless of the underlying motivation.  Please don't let me discourage you from doing so. 

As for achieving serenity, let me say that I am far from it myself.  The closest I have come to being indefinitely 'OK' with myself came when I adopted the attitude of, "I'm not better than anyone, but by God no one is better than me," <-- this was the signature of SBG user PapaDon for the longest time, always stuck with me.  I guess what I took from this is that I really don't give a rip about the judgements people pass on me because I can look right back at any person in front of me and find a shortcoming.  Rather than pointing this out, or wishing I possessed certain positive attributes of others, I just accept that I have the same potential to live a happy life as anyone else, and that no one has the authority to declare me to be inferior.

As for the chick at the gym, she basically stuck her foot in her mouth.  But, in her defense, she apparently hit the nail on the head regarding your hat. From what you've said, it's kind of a security blanket.  I understand, I wore a hat all the time too (and still do b/c the sun hates me).  Unfortunately, many people look at a bald guy with a hat on and automatically think, "He's hiding". With this gym girl, in the 0.005 seconds it took her to choose her words, she thought "No hats allowed in club.  He's wearing a hat b/c he's insecure.  Should probably tell him that NOW so he doesn't get to the club door and have the bodyguard ask him to remove it".  [And btw, you're never REALLY to old for the club scene... just don't scam on somone young enough to be your daughter, and it's not creepy =P]  I wouldn't take it too personally.  Just ditch the hat, and look people in the eye when you talk to them. This has worked a lot better for me than just putting on a cap and hoping they don't stare at my hairline.

Offline Jack21

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Re: "How women really feel about bald men"
« Reply #24 on: January 07, 2011, 02:30:54 PM »
I think that you're quite right about the girl at the gym. I can't believe that I'm still going on about that one, stupid little thing from 2 or 3 weeks ago, but still. I recall a few years ago a cousin of mine from Australia came to visit. I still had all sorts of junk in my hair to make it look like I had a full head of hair. I hadn't seen him in years and was a little surprised to see that he was bald. He is a couple years younger than me, but the last time I had seen him we were still kids. Anyway, I was so self-conscious about my balding and thinning that I went to ludricrous lengths to conceal it and here he was with a closely cropped horseshoe as comfortable as anyone - or so I thought. We talked for a long time and then I told him that I was meeting some friends at a bar and that he should come with me. He hesitated for a bit, said he wasn't sure, that he was tired etc etc. Finally seemingly out of the blue he asked if he could wear a baseball cap in the bar. I said of course he could - that its just a whole in the wall bar. His expression changed completely and he was up and ready to go. He must have already been bald for years by the time I saw him, but there was still some element of his not being completely comfortable in that type of social setting without a cap.

I don't want to become like that. I mean he's a wonderful guy and has since gotten married and begun a real adult life for himself. I have no idea how he is now with respect to his baldness. I have the feeling that it is not an issue for him anymore, but it was then.
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Offline Coach7

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Re: "How women really feel about bald men"
« Reply #25 on: January 07, 2011, 03:55:32 PM »
Jack - you should go easier on yourself.  You have already had the guts to do what I have not done.......remove the piece and bravely be who you are.  Feel good about what you have done for you.  You deserve it.

Offline Jack21

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Re: "How women really feel about bald men"
« Reply #26 on: January 07, 2011, 05:26:12 PM »
Coach, I'll never go easy on myself. Its just not my way. I have always been my own worst critic. I have spent my life in competition with myself. When I played ball and we would win say 35-7 (not that we often won 35-7) I wouldn't go out with the rest of the team Fri night b/c I was so furious with myself for giving up a TD. The fact that we won meant nothing. The fact that I missed a tackle or took a bad angle was all that I would concentate on. Anyway I'm off on a tangent again. I may have pulled the piece and shaved my head but I am still hiding behind hats at the gym and not even trying to go out and meet someone. I just turned 35 and suddenly feel the need to find a companion. My first marriage failed when I was in my mid 20's. I'm giving myself absolutely no chance of meeting a woman b/c I'm not putting myself out there. My friends who I used to hang with, go out with are not quite sure how to relate to me being shaved headed. Most of them tell me its time to grow it back already. When I get exaspirated and yell "I can't. There's nothing to grow out!" They don't believe me. Maybe I need to grow out my thinning mess and show up at the bar so that they'll finally believe me. I'm sure they'll say "Damn, Jack. You need to shave that sh*t NOW".
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Offline Brasspower

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Re: "How women really feel about bald men"
« Reply #27 on: January 25, 2011, 10:00:19 PM »
I agree.  If you hit the gym and buff-up with some cardio, get a new pair of clothes, you'd have all the chicks on you.  Some guys don't understand that.  Shave, hit the gym, get new clothes and women will fall over you.  Hitting the iron builds more testosterone and more confidence within yourself.

I so wish it was that easy, BTW don't forget the tanning.


Testosterone is also one of the leading causes for hair loss lol

Offline Magnifique

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Re: "How women really feel about bald men"
« Reply #28 on: May 24, 2011, 09:29:10 AM »
Hey boys - I came about this forum by accident but wanted to just say Hello and that there are girls out there that love bald men, and no I am not overweight, uneducated, or from Hicksville lol.

Offline Tyler

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Re: "How women really feel about bald men"
« Reply #29 on: May 24, 2011, 10:20:15 PM »
Hey boys - I came about this forum by accident but wanted to just say Hello and that there are girls out there that love bald men, and no I am not overweight, uneducated, or from Hicksville lol.

Welcome!  And thank you for posting up!
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