Can anything help?

[dan8856]

Hi guys first I want to share about myself im a 20 year old male from minneapolis, minnesota.  My struggles I guess are much like all of yours I suffer from mpb. Its hard to bear with because during high school I was known as the "hot" kid, and now I'm nothing more than a broken mess hiding under hats. I spend  lots of my time lookin at old family photos of me with hair and try to look at myself in the mirror and imagine what I would like if I still had hair. I know you guys always talk about having confidence, and belive me I used to have lots of confidence. I was a football player who always partied hard after the games and would get all the girls. Now I sit in my dorm room most the days going through the net looking at ads for propecia and looking at different hair transplants. They just all seem to expensive on a college budget. I've thought about shaving, but I just don't know if I could be a bald kid. I'm to pale and my head isn't perfect shape it kinda gets bigger in the back. Is there anything you guys suggest, any help would be appreciated.

[Mikekoz13]

Welcome to the Forum Dan!!!

Well I would suggest that you pack that self pity into a big old box, take it outside and set it on fire

Life is short my Friend... don't waste it worrying over stupid sh*t. And be thankful taht you don't have the money to pay for the drugs or rugs. Propecia MIGHT make your hair grow but then your dick probably wouldn't stand up and what good would getting the girls be then?? Hair systems??? Surgery?? Ar eyou "F'in" kidding me???

C'mon my Friend... use your money for better things. PLEASE read the recent post by new member GABAGOOL about how he wasted 30 years worrying over his hair.... and fixed the problem with some shave cream, a razor, and a new found attitude.

I know that at the age of 20 this seems like the worst possible thing...... but believe me... you will climb much bigger mountains in your life. 50 years of experience tells me this is so.
Do something good for yourself and forget about the hair and put your energy into something positve..... like getting on with a happy life.

Peace.........

[wpruitt]

Dan: There is no party worse than a pity party!  You know what to do.  Welcome to SBG

[Smooth_Operator]

Hi Dan - first off, you're not alone.  There are dozens of active members on this site, hundreds of lurkers, and millions upon millions of guys going through hairloss in one form or another.  All of us with mpb have had to deal with the same things, and it gets rough.  My hairloss was starting to get pretty noticeable at about your age, and I 100% understand the confidence vacuum that it causes.  There is a solution, though... and here's some advice:

* Not everyone on this site is a proponent of propecia/rogaine, and from a health perspective I generally agree that the less chemicals you put into your body, the better.  That said, if you want to try them now is the time... it's a lot easier to hold onto hair than to bring it back.  For some guys it works, for others (like me) it doesn't work, but it's not going to work better if you wait.

* Keep reading through this site and pay attention to guys who have had hair transplant surgery (I'm sure a couple will chime in here eventually).  It's an expensive, temporary fix to a losing battle and it leaves you thoroughly scarred.  I explored it, but it wasn't for me for those reasons.  If you're hellbent on it, try shaving your head first, just to be sure.

* Hairpieces/rugs... very expensive, wasn't on my radar.  There are some guys here who say getting rid of their rugs was one of the best things they ever did.

* The razor.  It's actually not as scary as it sounds.  I've only been sly for a couple months now, and to weigh how good I feel about myself now vs. how $hitty I felt about myself for the past ten years, I kick myself for not going sly when I was your age.  It's really an amazing thing, a literal weight lifted off your shoulders... errrr... head.  The hairloss thing weighs on your mind and eats at you, and it's pretty easy to fix.  You don't even need to go to bare skin the first time - I worked my way down with closer and closer buzz cuts... but smooth really feels best.  It's addictive in a good way, and it's inspired lots of guys to look at other parts of their lives and get back on track there, too.

Remember how confident you felt when you didn't ever worry about your hair... when it wasn't even something that crossed your mind?  Imagine yourself six months from now looking back on today as the day when things all changed for the better.  With a shaved head, you take your hair out of the equation - it's a blitz on an incompetent quarterback, or a surprise right hook that knocks the bully on his @$$... it's aggressively dealing with an issue that will otherwise continue to badger you into submission.  

I thought my head was weird, too... then I stepped back from the mirror a few feet and realized that it's pretty normal.  I can tell from your photo that your head is pretty normal, too.  You're just not used to seeing it, and that's what's got you freaked out about shaving it.  Really, it's one of those things that is equally a huge deal and not a big deal at all.  We're more critical of ourselves than anyone else, and honestly women love it.  Some don't, but the majority do... and those that love it *really* love it.  My (hot) girlfriend laughs every time we're out and a waitress or random girl hits on me, smiles at me, stares a little too long... that wasn't happening when I was balding.  Other guys report the same types of things.

So... whatever you do, stop hiding.  If you want to try the drugs, go for it.  Try a new, shorter hair style, too.  If you're on a crash course with baldness (as I was) it's just a matter of time... and you need to choose whether you spend that time suffering or rocking out.  Women love bald men, but balding men is another story altogether.  Try the 30 Day sly challenge - the worst that will happen is that you stop shaving your head for a few days and it grows back.  If you feel insecure, tell people that you lost a bet, or you're trying something new for the new school year, or make a joke.  Young guys shave their heads all the time for (stupid) reasons other than mpb, so why not just give it a shot?  Embrace it, get psyched about it and let that energy come out of every pore.  Believe me, you will surpass your own expectations... and whatever hair you have now will grow right back if it's not for you.  You have nothing to lose, and it beats the hell out of sitting in your dorm room looking at hair transplant sites.  Been there, done that, bought the headblade, problem solved.  Hope this helps.

[MikeBrke]

Just thought I would chime in and say that is a really great post Smooth_Operator.  Dan8856, I would definitely ponder the advice given.  

Also, having to take propecia is almost as much as a mind-stressor as losing your hair.  You are constantly worried about the side effects and kind of ashamed of risking your health (albeit a small risk according to the clinical data) just to keep your hair a few years longer.  I think taking the medicine will stress you out almost as much as your thinning hair!  

Definitely try shaving it down. Do a fade type cut with a #1 guard on the sides and a #2 guard on the top.  It is a great start to going sly and helps adjust to the look of seeing yourself with short hair.  

One thing that stricks me is that guys who take control of their thinning hair by cutting it short or going sly, always seem happier than the guys who are hiding it.  I am sure you will notice this too.  Once you accept the fact that you are going bald, embracing it is the best possible thing you can do.  The worst thing you can do is hide from it.    

[Arnie]

First off, welcome to SBGs!!!

I clung to my hair for too long when I was the same age as you...

Just do it, you won't regret it...and for whatever reason you don't like the SLY look after trying it out for a month or so...whatever you got left will grow back...

[Rob-Raz]

Shave it down and give it a try. Can't be any worse than sitting in your room surfing "hair porn." If you dont like it, grow it back. Then you can investigate the drugs, plugs and rugs.

[BaldWriterBob]

Welcome to SBG. I think you know what you need to do. Take the razor to your hair and see for yourself. Sitting and worrying about it is not making things better. There are plenty of guys here who will tell you that it won't hurt your social life and may even improve things.

[Mrnemo]

Welcome. The other gentlemen gave you sound advice. If you have no problem with girls now you won't going sly guarnteed

[Timmer]

Welcome to SBG.  Smooth_Operator pretty much said it all. 

I spent too many years of my life with one foot in yesterday, one foot in tomorrow, peein' all over today.  Accept the reality of your life as it is today, act accordingly, move on.  Easy to say, difficult to do, until you make it a habit.

[Morthen]

I would recommend the 30 day rule. I was like you I was hiding under hats for almost a year, its no way to live. Just shave it down for a while and give everyone time to adjust and I can almost guarantee you and your friends/family will end up liking it. DO NOT take propecia or get HT surgery you will thoroughly regret it later in life and be back here miserable and with a scar or no libido.

no drugs/rugs/plugs, no hair loss treatment is permanent or cost effective. Trust me I did tons of research on it, just shave your head and enjoy your life.

[Papa Don]

Welcome Dan!  What has not been brought out about hair transplants is that it not only scars you for life, but the fact that even though hair is being placed in thinning areas, the hair that is going to depart will.  You have gone through the agony of the transplant and you still wind up with thinning hair.  Therefore, transplants are kind of useless and senseless.  My advise is to try the sly look, if you hate it, grow it back.  Shaving is not like pulling teeth.

[reb123161]

Great advice from Timmer!!  What he said is true, also.  Welcome and just remember that almost everyone here went through what you are going through.....shave it and get on with your life, man.....this ain't a dress rehearsal....you have one life--LIVE IT, MAN!

[The Noggin]

Welcome Dan!
The problem with rugs/drugs/plugs is, you'll still worry if it looks natural, if others can see something and so on.
The beauty of going sly is that you're showing to everyone who cares - including yourself - you've got nothing to hide. Day by day you're getting stronger and the negative feelings are fading away. You become one with yourself again.
And it looks great, too.

[RyanJP]

Dan, I'm looking at your avatar pic and I share the same hairline as you, I started thinning on the back/top and on the sides, I've been running clippers on and off for 10 years as well as being Sly for the last 4, I started actually losing hair about a year ago, everyone tells me that I have a great head and I can pull it off, I can't tell you how much I love the look and will never go back, I think you'd feel the same way if you gave it a good to go run.

Stop your worrying, don't even tempt taking a DHT blocker like propecia, you're depressed now wait till you're in a good cycle of running that poison, they will literally kill your manhood by blocking off your DHT ( which is ten times more of an important male androgen than testosterone...you need both to survive ) this means it's very critical to have, it's what creates all the Male characteristics, which also is losing your hair so why fight it.

Here's something I posted about 5 months ago.

http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=12510.0

http://www.mikemahler.com/articles/Dihydrotestosterone.html