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#15 by buddha on 26 Apr, 2010 10:34
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Better to move on and find the next one than deal with the downstream pain.
Or maybe move on and let the next one find you. -
#16 by TheBaldAndBeautiful on 04 May, 2010 18:13
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I dated this girl for a three weeks (we're both in mid 20s), things went really fast, chemistry was great, etc. spent the night at her place several times, had sex etc. it was all really intense and we met often. then suddenly she started saying she's too busy and couldn't meet me for 10 days or so (she works 8 hours a day, and doesn't have any time-consuming hobbies, etc.) plus she was kind of cold when I semi-randomly met her and followed her home during that 10 day period.
I decided to call her up and said that I liked her, and wondered if I was wasting my time. told her I'm not into games and if what she meant was to send me hint I would appreciate if she was honest. she told me she'll call when her schedule clears.
after those 10 days were over I asked her wether she wanted to go to a concert and she replied the same way, ie no time.
this weekend I met her at a bar, and we talked for a bit - I was looking for a closure. I interpreted what she said as follows: starting out she didn't think much - just wanted to have a good time. then she realized that she liked me and at the initial pace it would have to get too serious too fast and she pulled away. confronting her with the change of pace certainly didn't help. and I guess she decided better safe than sorry, since the timing isn't perfect.
In the mean time she's been talking to our mutual friends about how great she thinks I am and that we were having a good time dating.
THE QUESTION: She basically sees me as a threat to her freedom and the good life she's leading the way things have developed. How do I change her mind and start meeting her again casually?
THANKS IN ADVANCE!
PS don't do the, if you meet someone right you can always make it work-routine. my belief is that it only applies if the guy is someone you truly will only meet once in a lifetime, such as a pro athlete, celebrity, etc. otherwise timing is of great importance. a beautiful girl will always be able to meet a regular great guy.
So, there aren't other women in the world?... -
#17 by D-Man on 15 May, 2010 15:05
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As the others have said,move on and find someone that wants to be with you.Cast out your net and cach a good one!
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#18 by ronthejazzcat on 28 Jul, 2011 15:54
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Let me put it to you this way man.
Either she really is too busy, she is scared to put that commitment in her life, or (at worst case) she is messing with your head because she thinks she can get away with it. Regardless of her reasons there, if you heard she likes you through the grapevine then it probably could be true. However it seems like she isn't willing to make sacrifices in her schedule, put herself on the line emotionally, or give you the respect of not messing with you because she feels like she's already got you hooked. She controls the pace of things because she knows you won't do much about it.
Even though you've confronted her, you need to take a big step back. Walk away and focus your interest on other women. If she has enough interest in you then she will pursue you after you've gone, because she'll realize that you weren't someone that she could drag along the line forever and will take risks in her life to get you back.
Women pick up when a guy is reeled in to the point where they can get away with anything. The reason why the "bad guys" seem to have better success with women? Because they don't chase the women, they let the women chase them.
(Obviously I'm not implying that you should do the same things she did to other women you meet- I'm just saying when you have the ability to move on, that's when the prize catches come in.)
That was a rather complicated explanation of my take on the situation... I hope I wasn't too confusing.
Good luck man with finding that special someone. It's an uphill battle both inside and outside, but if you keep your wits about you, then you WILL make it!