Author Topic: Examples of building confidence  (Read 6126 times)

Offline BReady

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Re: Examples of building confidence
« Reply #15 on: February 21, 2010, 09:30:11 AM »
Shaving my head has become a non-issue to me.  If someone doesn't like my hair cut, no problem!  I've had people laugh at me (ex-wife), people have said I've looked older because of being bald (don't care).  I like the way it looks.  If you don't like the way it looks, you don't have to get your haircut like that (I won't make you.. haha).  

There are some times I am shy towards certain groups of people, but once I warm up I am good to go.  

Work is where I exhibit the most confidence, so I will use that as an example.  If something intimidates me, I just do it.  Don't think about what COULD happen.  At my work I normally fix equipment.  But I am an equipment vendor at a customer's site, so there is quite a bit of interfacing with the customers I have to do (from floor operators to engineering managers).  There have been times that I have walked into Monday morning meetings about a piece of equipment that has been down all weekend.  The customer is usually seriously pissed and I usually have had 5-10 minutes exposure of the issue by reading passdown and error logs.  I just go in, tell them what's going on and answer their questions.  I don't rehearse what I'm going to say to them or anything because then there is a possibility they will ask something I didn't anticipate.  Just prepare your self the best you can and get the job done.  I don't know if that's the BEST way to confront fears and what not, but I haven't been fired from my job yet, so I guess somethings working.

My method doesn't work ALL the time.  I've been chewed up and spit out on numerous occasions (at this job, military and personal life).  The key is to keep going.  You get knocked down don't be a sissy.  Get up and keep going.
« Last Edit: February 21, 2010, 09:33:08 AM by BReady »

SBG written at 5 micron field of view on an electron microscope (kind of messed up the B, but you get the picture).


Offline pdxtodd

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Re: Examples of building confidence
« Reply #16 on: February 25, 2010, 09:31:47 AM »
I had a serious - in fact job threatening at the time - lack of self confidence back in the late 1980's.   I had a terrible fear of public speaking, even to small groups of people.   For me the turning point was taking the Dale Carnegie Effective Speaking class.   My employer at the time (Andersen Consulting) paid for me to go.   It was life changing for me.   I don't know if they still teach the classes or not.   The turning point for me was one of the sessions focused on "nobody else on the planet is better at talking about your experiences than YOU!".    For some reason that simple statement turned my life around.   I now seek out public speaking opportunities and have been the keynote speaker at conferences where there were several thousand people in the audience.    I have 3 speaking engagements coming up for an international conference where there will be 8,000 people attending.   

So here's a few tips that I share with other folks who lack confidence in themselves:
1) Seek out opportunities where you have the ability to share your expertise and talents.  Everyone is an expert at something and there are always venues for sharing that information.  It could be going to your local schools and talking to kids about what you do for a living.
2) Seek out groups of people who have similar interests.   If there isn't a group start one!   With Google Groups, Craigslist, and other venues on the web -- its easy to assemble a group of people who love the same things.  As the organizer you're instantly the expert.
3) Look in the mirror every morning and say out loud "there isn't another person on this planet who has more expertise about ME than ME!"
4)  Seek out friends who are complementary.   My ex-wives were experts at tearing me down for every little fault that I have - and I have a lot of them.  After a while you start to believe their crap.   I have great friends who are always re-enforcing my strengths and overlook my weaknesses.
5)  Write!   I know that Mike is writing a book and I'm now on my second book.  There's something about writing that helps boost your confidence level.  Its sharing your expertise with others.    It doesn't have to be a book - it can be a blog or responses to posts on this board even!
6) Seek professional help.  Dale Carnegie's class turned my life around.  I think the class cost my company $1295.00 -- for me it was worth a hundred million dollars.   It completely changed my life.

The other recent activity that has caused my self confidence to skyrocket is shaving my head.  After hiding behind lotions, potions, and rugs for decades -- I'm finally "ME!"   I don't have to worry about whether my hair covers 90% of my scalp, or whether my hair system is detectable.  Shaving my head was an incredible confidence booster.

Offline YOSP

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Re: Examples of building confidence
« Reply #17 on: April 14, 2010, 07:47:26 PM »
When you can accept yourself for who you are and what you look like, then only you can control how you feel. Then it won't matter what someone else thinks or says. When you don't give anyone that power over you then you will exude confidence.
(Sorry, my wife's a psychologist, but I stand by it still!)
Remember, there's a fine line between confidence adn cockiness. :x!


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