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NEED SOME ADVICE HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION by samoanseb8 on 24 Mar, 2009 02:36
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Ok, so on the weekend, I attended a birthday party of a friend, who is really more of an acquaintance of a few very good friends of mine...Had a great time, but during the course of the night I sat down next to his Girlfriend and had a friendly chat with her, with no agenda other than to make general conversation...we talked for about half and hour or so, and she was a nice girl, I enjoyed her company and she seemed to enjoy mine, and left it at that. yesterday I added her on facebook (I add a lot of people to facebook). Today the guy rings me up, and asks me what I said to his girlfriend...I told her we talked about how they met etc...because some of my mates had told me they met under unusual circumstances ( a drunken music festival) and my mates like to give him a ribbing about it...he got all defensive about this and told me his GF is not my friend so why did I add her on facebook and why was I talking to her about them meeting etc...This infuriated me because he was extremely disrespectful to the point that i may have taken a swing if he was standing in front of me. I am not a violent or negative person at all and I always treat people with respect, so this has all been weird to me, dealing with this anger toward him. My mates tell me he is very insecure and to leave it at that. On my part, maybe I should not have added her to facebook but if a guy can't accept his girlfriend having guy friends then maybe he has some deeper issues. I am a friendly outgoing guy who can have a conversation with practically anyone, so perhaps this deceived him in thinking that I was making a move on his girl...I didnt want to get into a verbal slinging match so I have left it alone, but eventually we will have to meet again because of our mutual friends...not sure on how to handle this situation because I feel very disrespected and angry.
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#1 by hammerdrill376 on 24 Mar, 2009 04:13
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Sounds like this guy has a BIG insecurity problem. He may be a very possesive person and that can lead to big problems for her down the road. I would just drop the whole thing for now. Both of you feel offended and trying to "work it out" could lead to more confrontation. Next time you do run into him, and if the situation comes up take the high road and apologize and let him know you weren't trying to make moves on his woman. If he does not accept that then at least you have done your part.
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#2 by Mikekoz13 on 24 Mar, 2009 04:34
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I wouldn't sweat it............ the guy sounds like an insecure ass. Don't waste any of your positive energy worrying about him.
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#3 by PeripheralxMvmnt on 24 Mar, 2009 06:46
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Yeah, hes just insecure, and more than likely hes just blowing off steam. Let him fluff his feathers and feel important, and you just keep being who you are.
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#4 by Papa Don on 24 Mar, 2009 08:36
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Like the guys have said already--it's evident you had no concept of stealing the GF. So just back away and watch what happens. If this girl has any sense, she will realize that she doesn't need an ass in her world.
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#5 by TheSlyBear on 24 Mar, 2009 09:07
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The dude needs to learn that he doesn't own anybody. If he can't handle her talking to other guys or making friends other than himself, he's got a lot of growing up to do before he's ready for a serious relationship.
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#6 by The Scottish Ambassador on 24 Mar, 2009 09:23
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What they all said dude
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#7 by Ghost1988 on 24 Mar, 2009 11:14
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hes an extremly jealous person because of his insecurities. ive actually been there done that unfortunately. you have the right to do whatever you want since your not stealing his g/f, but i think the right thing to do would be to just back off for a little and let HER talk to you.
btw.....whats your facebook? lol -
#8 by DuffRyder17 on 24 Mar, 2009 11:54
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ouch I once did that to a guy when I was with my X, it was very immature.
but the good news is I see him from time to time and it's not wierd we even have drinks sometimes at the bar. -
#9 by schro on 24 Mar, 2009 12:16
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As I've been saying for 25 years, NEVER add another guy's girlfriend on facebook.
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#10 by Alexander215 on 24 Mar, 2009 14:35
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As I've been saying for 25 years, NEVER add another guy's girlfriend on facebook.
I second this, adding her to facebook might look a tad suspicious. -
#11 by bem75 on 24 Mar, 2009 14:45
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I gotta tell ya man, I did something similar and it also caused a big fight...with my wife. She didn't understand why I added my buddy's super hot girlfriend as a friend. Oops. I agreed that it was a mistake.
I read an interesting article in Newsweek about Facebook. Check it out: http://www.newsweek.com/id/185641
Anyways, your buddy is insecure and probably jealous of you. He feels threatened by you. Just ask yourself honestly why you added the girl as a friend and you'll have your answer to the problem.
Good luck. -
#12 by samoanseb8 on 24 Mar, 2009 20:15
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Thanks for the advice everyone, you confirmed what I was thinking but it was hard to express through the anger I was feeling...In retrospect, I shouldn't have added her to facebook, but on the other hand, the way I use facebook is just for fun, I don't use it to pick up girls, or to hit on anyones girlfriend. So in a way I feel sorry for this guy for feeling so insecure that he felt the need to call me. And honestly, I seriously had no intention to hit on his woman. But that is the way of the world, and how people think these days unfortunately ...Thanks again everyone!
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#13 by champ007 on 24 Mar, 2009 21:11
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The way I see it, you don't really know this guy so why is he calling you? He apparently can't keep his girlfriend in his cellar so he is snooping her face-book, which means something has gone down before (maybe her on someone else) or he is messing around on her. But curious since I am not familiar with facebook, did you have to invite her as a friend and she accept or can you just add someone??
If she invited you or accepted, then I would just direct him back to her if he questions you again. Tell him to buy a leash. I wouldn't waste my energy getting upset at this dude, don't take any sh*t from him but just let it go.
You look as if you can handle your own, so if he continues to harass you I'm sure you'll handle it
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#14 by DuffRyder17 on 25 Mar, 2009 10:14
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The way I see it, you don't really know this guy so why is he calling you? He apparently can't keep his girlfriend in his cellar so he is snooping her face-book,
never thought to try keeping 'em in the cellar. damn
lol jk