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#15 by Razor X on 16 Dec, 2008 22:27
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hes usually fine and doesnt even say anything about it. it seems he only says negative things when hes in a bad mood or pissed at me. then he insults my head.
Just ignore the negative comments and change the subject. You have the power here, not him. -
#16 by PORKY on 16 Dec, 2008 23:15
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come on, some of us older guys have to reflect on the fact that say 20 years ago we were hearing "i cant believe the legnth of your hair! arent you EVER going to get a hair cut, that shits hanging down over your collar , its DISGUSTING !"
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#17 by Brkeatr on 17 Dec, 2008 05:26
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come on, some of us older guys have to reflect on the fact that say 20 years ago we were hearing "i cant believe the legnth of your hair! arent you EVER going to get a hair cut, that sh*ts hanging down over your collar , its DISGUSTING !"
LOL....Never happened to me because I never had long hair, but it brings back memories of my parents and my little brother who is now 51. They use to get on him something fierce about his long hair in the 70's and I would LMAO.....
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#18 by DuffRyder17 on 17 Dec, 2008 08:41
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Ghost
that sucks man, I often get the impression that my dad wishes i would grow my hair too, but has never said anything becuase I'm 22 and he knows that he has no say in the matter. I guess I am lucky, i have an uncle that shves his head, so I have some family support.
but hang in there, i think it takes longer for others to get used than it does even for ourselves. maybe.
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#19 by SBG Math Guy on 18 Dec, 2008 22:41
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I arrived at my parents' house yesterday. My sisters (ages 13,16, and 21) said the shaved head looks really good on me. My mother hasn't really commented, and surprisingly my father hasn't said anything negative.
So far things are good. -
#20 by BaldMark on 18 Dec, 2008 23:09
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Ghost,
Sorry to hear about your bad encounter with your dad. It almost seems like he's picking at you having your head shaved, because he can't find anything else to pick at. Wait till he has to shave his and try out the same crap he's pulling on you then ask him how it feels.
My dad had cancer not long ago and his personality changed, he would find anything to freak out about. Just let it roll off your shoulders man. I've never had or hope to get cancer but I have a feeling it would be pretty scary. Was he always like this or just recently? -
#21 by bubbadave3 on 18 Dec, 2008 23:25
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so tonight i was at the mall christmas shopping. and all was going well until i come home and my dads in a bad mood and he starts bitching about my shaved head. ive been shaving it for 6 months and just tonight he decides to bitch about it.
i walk in the door and this is how the conversation goes:
him-wth are you gonna grow your hair back? you just have a receding hairline its not that big of a deal.
me-i dont like how i look with hair.
him- wth are you talking about? your not gonna keep your hair like this forever are you?
me- i dunno, maybe ill grow it back when im older and i dont care about balding as much
him- you need to grow it back. you look like a skinhead and its embarassing.
what a great way to help my self esteem issue. its bad enough already getting used to the shaved head, and balding. i didn't need to hear him bitchin. thats just how he is though. he speaks his mind. it sure did piss me off though.
the first day i shaved my head the first thing he said was "grow your hair back! you look like an alien!"
There's a book out that's called Boundaries. It's by a couple of guys named Cloud and Townsend. (If you don't happen to be particularly religious, ignore the fact that the book was written by a couple of Christian psychologists). I think that the book can be helpful to anyone who's struggling to be able to establish firm boundaries in any relationship.
I look at it this way, people who love me are going to love me with or without hair, with or without purple hair, with or without piercings, etc. If they can't accept me as I am, then it's their problem. Sorry to hear that you had to go through that. -
#22 by bubbadave3 on 18 Dec, 2008 23:28
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sorry to hear about that Ghost.
I kind of laughed as I read your story because that's almost the exact same thing my father tells me. I called my father yesterday saying I'm coming over tomorrow but I have a shaved head and he was confused. He told me that I'm crazy and that a bald head is ugly.
Man, it's to the point where I laugh at his stupidity. Of course I don't laugh when he's telling me that nonsense stuff but when I'm on my own I think about his stupidity and laugh.
You told me in another post that you are half persian, right? You know our parents from the middle east don't give a damn about their children's feelings. They will tell us exactlyl what comes up to their minds. It's ridiculous. I am in the same situation as you. I shouldn't hear my father tell me a shaved head looks ugly on me but hey that's a typical middle eastern parent. I think parents from north america are more considerate, and I sometimes wonder how much better life would be if I had a canadian or american father who would only think about raising my self-esteem. What can you do, stupid people shouldn't be parents.
Actually, I'm 100% Middle Eastern, and my family has been Christian for centuries. My dad's fine with the fact that I have a shaved head and a septum (bull nose) piercing. I guess I've been blessed. -
#23 by jMac627 on 19 Dec, 2008 00:06
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for some reason my dad decided he would voice his opinion to me as well. He and my mother came to my work for dinner so I sat with them and out of no where he says.... " so why did you do that... its a little short don't you think" like.. ive been at a bare clipper for over 2 years and i decide to shave it all and he flips... now im not sayin he really put me down or beat me or anything but i like to make him proud and it was just kind of a low blow.. he hates when i "stand out".. oh well i bought him dinner hoping he will forget about it and my head will tan a bit before he brings it up again.
cheers
J. -
#24 by marshd1000 on 19 Dec, 2008 06:14
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I have been shaving my head off and on for about 11 years. Mostly shaved with some periods of growing it back. But I was 36 when I first really started to shave my head. My dad, who had really thinning hair said, "Marshall...looks like hell". My stepmom initially cried and said, "But Marshall, you're a Christian....could you please grow it back?" My stepmom thought that having a shaved head was not a good example of being a Christian. She was part of the reason I started Christian Chromedomes group on Yahoo!
My dad is passed away now. But despite the comments, I know that he loved me and that my stepmom still does love me. The comments ended when they saw that I wasn't going to go back to having hair. I had grown hair back from time to time in the past. Initially it was due to pressure. A couple of times, I grew it back BECAUSE I WANTED TO!!! That is the time that one should grow their hair back is because they wanted to! But I will probably not do that at this point, because in my experience, when I went sly again, I get questions and comments! -
#25 by imb on 19 Dec, 2008 17:40
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hey dude
so sorry to hear that.. must be horrible. dont listen to your dad. i haven't yet shaved my hair yet but i can imagine reactions would be similar towards me, too. i am naturally thin and i just KNOW it wouldnt suit me being bald
tom
Hey, I'm thin too and reckon it looks pretty good on me. I guess we all thought it wouldn't suit us or that we didn't have the right head shape, I was definitely one of those. In the end I'm very much happy with it -
#26 by The Scottish Ambassador on 20 Dec, 2008 12:24
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hey dude
so sorry to hear that.. must be horrible. dont listen to your dad. i haven't yet shaved my hair yet but i can imagine reactions would be similar towards me, too. i am naturally thin and i just KNOW it wouldnt suit me being bald
tom
Hey, I'm thin too and reckon it looks pretty good on me. I guess we all thought it wouldn't suit us or that we didn't have the right head shape, I was definitely one of those. In the end I'm very much happy with it
I also am thin and have been told that sly suits me. I am very happy with my new sly look. Sorry to hear you had to go through that Ghost. Keep it sly and use the guys in here for support whenever you need us (beleive me, they are the BEST) -
#27 by DuffRyder17 on 20 Dec, 2008 16:36
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hey dude
so sorry to hear that.. must be horrible. dont listen to your dad. i haven't yet shaved my hair yet but i can imagine reactions would be similar towards me, too. i am naturally thin and i just KNOW it wouldnt suit me being bald
tom
Hey, I'm thin too and reckon it looks pretty good on me. I guess we all thought it wouldn't suit us or that we didn't have the right head shape, I was definitely one of those. In the end I'm very much happy with it
I also am thin and have been told that sly suits me. I am very happy with my new sly look. Sorry to hear you had to go through that Ghost. Keep it sly and use the guys in here for support whenever you need us (beleive me, they are the BEST)
I too, am on the thin side, although I do have muscle-tone from working out, just have always been kinda skinny, I have a small frame I guess.
as far as head shape goes mine is ok, I am more concerned about my facial structure -
#28 by Wil87 on 20 Dec, 2008 16:59
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Ghost, dude, sorry to hear about the negativity! Remember you will never please everyone, if its not your head, it will be the way you dress and if its not that, it will be something else!!
If you are happy in yourself that is all that matters, I know that sounds like a very narrow minded approach but confidence in yourself is worth all the money in the world!! -
#29 by snowpeck on 28 Dec, 2008 22:45
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It's the opposite for me. My dad could care less and has defended my shaved head from time to time, but my mom is the one that constantly complains. Says my head is too lumpy.
Greg