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Work Injury!
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Topic: Work Injury! (Read 2780 times)
J Digory
My head's like my bass playin': Smooth
Super Sly
Posts: 351
Country:
Work Injury!
«
on:
July 09, 2008, 12:23:15 PM »
I work in a restaurant. I was closing up when a WASP came at me. Well, don't tell anyone, but it was really just hanging out. But I screamed like a banshee and backed up, grabbed a magazine and SWAP! I missed! Who KNEW where that stinging beast from the bowels of hell could be!
I started jumping up and down and waving my arms. Looking back, I don't really know why, but at 2am this seemed like an appropriate thing to be doing. Well, no wasp to be seen. But I knew I didn't get him...I just knew it. So I went back to cleaning and jumped at even the THOUGHT that something touched me. I kept picturing it's smooth black body just sitting on the top of my bald head. He would laugh menacingly before stinging me where it would hurt most! Ok, a sting in the eye would probably hurt most...but as you probably guessed, with fear laying thick on me, I wasn't really being too rational.
And that's when I saw the winged demon once more. He was floating here and there; not stopping long since he knew I hunted him. I lifted up an aluminum handled broom and stalked my prey. I chuckled darkly as I imagined it's body crunching under the force of my blow. When the moment was right (when I finally had the courage) I struck! The broom snapped in half and somehow sliced not one but TWO gashes into my ring finger on my right hand!
Man, this sucker knows how to BLEED! I have had a heck of a time trying to dress this crazy wound on the tip of my finger. But hey, I didn't get stung by the wasp.
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Last Edit: July 09, 2008, 12:46:00 PM by J Digory
»
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FR8TRAIN
Sly Bureau
Posts: 1286
Country:
Go ahead, rub it!
Re: Work Injury!
«
Reply #1 on:
July 09, 2008, 12:29:20 PM »
Oh, I'm so sorry Bro but the visual had me in tears.
Still does.....
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Tis better to have a bald head than no head at all.
The Zook
One Blade Renegade
Super Sly
Posts: 325
Collector O'Razors
Re: Work Injury!
«
Reply #2 on:
July 09, 2008, 12:37:44 PM »
Haha, great story... loved the detail, really made me feel like I was there when it happened because I was laughing my butt off watching it go down, lol.
Next time take it out with your bare hands, it will be less painful
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TheSlyBear
Opinionated Walrus
Team Sly
Sly Bureau
Posts: 2961
Country:
忍者クマ
Re: Work Injury!
«
Reply #3 on:
July 09, 2008, 12:41:46 PM »
Sounds like me when I spot one of our mutant giant Texas cockroaches in the house. No one is safe until it is dead!
Hope you heal quickly!
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BlackJamesRackham
Sly Bucco
Ultimate Sly Guy
Posts: 717
Re: Work Injury!
«
Reply #4 on:
July 09, 2008, 01:11:59 PM »
Man...bees, wasps, spiders, roaches, bugs in general...they all make me go mad
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Rockin' "Sly" since 2008
Mikekoz13
Sure you can rub it... all the girls want to...
Sly Moderator
Sly Nobility
Posts: 8630
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Re: Work Injury!
«
Reply #5 on:
July 09, 2008, 01:56:47 PM »
Hey Diggs..... do a search and find my story aboput bees from last Summer......... that one will get you.........
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"What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?" W.C. Fields
Jer
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.
Team Sly
Ultimate Sly Guy
Posts: 747
Re: Work Injury!
«
Reply #6 on:
July 09, 2008, 03:24:42 PM »
That's good! I can completely relate to that! I think I made more of an a$$ of myself though. I was sitting there at work and it's like 11pm. Traffic was next to nothing coming over the border on a lazy summer night when this car pulls up. Sitting in the car is 4 gorgeous girls all done up for a night on the town. I start talking to them, doing the old routine. I'm staying my usual serious self cracking the odd grin with all their flirting, cause hell, they always do that to try to get through quicker. I go to hand them their passports back, and there is this HUGE spider hanging down right between me and the drivers window. I jump pack, start yelling and cursing as I slam the door shut and jump out the back door of the booth. Meanwhile the 4 girls are just staring at me with jaws hanging open. I realize how stupid I must have looked, so I turn to them and just say, 'Uhhh umm ahhh, there was a spider!' They all start laughing like mad and one in the back seat gets out and grabs the spider and kills it. I hand them their passports back and they're still laughing. In an embarrassed half mumble I just say 'I have arachnophobia' and turn and walk away.
I think the only thing I injured was my pride, but it still hurt like hell.
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J Digory
My head's like my bass playin': Smooth
Super Sly
Posts: 351
Country:
Re: Work Injury!
«
Reply #7 on:
July 10, 2008, 03:24:07 AM »
Yeah, fear is a funny thing. No matter how hard you try to rationalize it, you can't. I have overcome some fears...but man, that wasp came out of NOWHERE! It took me by surprise...like your spider, Jer.
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TheTrucker
Super Sly
Posts: 356
Re: Work Injury!
«
Reply #8 on:
July 10, 2008, 07:25:15 AM »
LMAO great story.
I've always been amused by people who are terrified of something that weighs a thousandth of themselves. I understand it and know they can't help it, but it's still amusing.
Personally I am terrified of giant green and yellow spotted space frogs.
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Mason
Linux: because a pc is a terrible thing to waste.
What do you mean guys don't knit?
Jer
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.
Team Sly
Ultimate Sly Guy
Posts: 747
Re: Work Injury!
«
Reply #9 on:
July 10, 2008, 07:27:41 AM »
Oh yeah, I wasn't expecting it since the canopy is a good 10 meters up and you wouldn't think a spider could hang perfectly straight down from that distance. I think that it really the only real major fear I have, and it's not just the phobia, it's a severe phobia.
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BlackJamesRackham
Sly Bucco
Ultimate Sly Guy
Posts: 717
Re: Work Injury!
«
Reply #10 on:
July 10, 2008, 07:33:33 AM »
Glad to know I'm not the only one that hates/fears spiders....speaking of which, Jer, have you ever heard of the Clock Spider?
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Rockin' "Sly" since 2008
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Work Injury!