Hello there,
I'm a newbie here who after perusing through the forum for a while took the bait and got myself an account.
At 14 I realised I had a rather large forehead, a suspicion which was confirmed by a comment my father made a year later when he jokingly told me to stop wearing hats (I was wearing it backwards at the time, as I had been playing football across the street) because according to him "it was making my forehead look weird and disproportionate". I wore hats because I've always had longish hair, which - subconsciously - served to hide my said forehead. In other words, my hairline was already in tatters from the word go.
As early as 15 I pretty much knew I would be losing my hair, I just didn't think it was to be that soon; truth be told I was thinking early 40s or thereabouts. Such conclusion was never one I had in mind when I was 13 and under given the great heads of hair on my father's side of the family. Little did I know that the "balding genes" are more often than not determined by one's maternal side. And on the other half of the family, my beloved grandpa is indeed bald as well as two out of my three uncles. I inherited the MPB genes from him, while my brother who is 3 years my senior drew the longer straw and has a thick full head of hair just like my father’s and my uncles.
In the UK once you finish high school at 16/17 you have the option to attend college, where you pick subjects that are related to your university degree. I was no different; I frequented it for 3 years. The first of which I met what - to this day - I paradoxically consider to be: both the love of my life, the one that got away and the one that was never meant to be.
At the risk of sounding pretentious I felt I was a good looking lad at college, especially during my first year. A lanky 6'1, tanned complexion (I'm part Italian), green eyes and I'd grown my hair even longer to mimic Kurt Cobain's hairdo - which needless to say worked wonders to conceal my rapidly receding hairline so long as I avoided the outdoors on windy days.
Gals were always giving me attention but I only had eyes for the one I alluded to earlier. She had given me numerous signs throughout the school year until one day in the last week or two of classes she, during a conversation with the teacher and a few other pupils, uttered: "if I were to date anyone from college it would definitely be EdmondDantes; I loooove tall guys with long hair."as I was typing away an essay on the computer nearby. I didn't physically react but on the inside I was incredulously overjoyed. In the very final day of school she made a point to sit almost beside me outside while I was chatting to some friends, it was my chance but I convinced myself that I would only ask her out, tell her how I felt after the summer, in September. The reason being my phone had been stolen so I didn't even have a number to give her. It was a cheap excuse of course. But a truthful one nonetheless, I had no phone at the time.
September arrived but to my dismay she never did. My first year was her second and she had completed her A-levels and had moved on to either University or something else, I've never seen nor heard of her again. My third and final year of college only served to vindicate my sentimentally painful decision of not talking to her and telling I loved her, my hair was thinning by the hour and I wore a Rafael Nadal like bandana throughout the academic year to hide my ever rising hairline. Deep inside I knew why I never made the move and opened up to her, it wasn't because of not having a phone or lack of courage, it had only to do with the certainty of my fate, that I couldn't be her “tall guy with long hair” for much longer. And as I believe love on most occasions isn't reciprocal or mutual, what she felt for me was just a mere ephemeral attraction or a crush. So I deemed it was best not to live something that I’d want for eternity that was at best destined to be short-lived.
At 19 a week before I attended fresher’s week at university in October, I went to my barbers – who is an old friend, bald himself who had been Sly for years but was now wearing a “hair system” – and I told him: “just shave it mate, it’s time”, my hair was still long, he had a look and indeed told me I had thinned quite a bit since he’d last seen me. But against my wishes he managed to carve out a decent haircut, short on the sides and at different lengths on top which surprisingly hid my hairline and covered the overall lack of hair. It wasn't to last though, I spent months avoiding the outdoors, parties, clubs (which in fairness I’m not into anyway) until July came and two major things happened. One I dropped out of university, I didn’t enjoy the course and the prospects of getting a job at the time in the sector were dire but also because of my hair as well.
It was now far too thin on top and one could easily see right through my scalp even with my hair at medium length. So I buzzed it, then shaved it and intermittently alternated between both. It took me a while to get used to it, I was searching out answers. But once you realise there are billionaires “sporting” comb-overs and people risking their health taking pills just to keep whatever hair they have left, and after visiting the a scalp micro pigmentation open-day a year or so later – who in fairness do a great job and some people do end up looking great, but it wasn’t for me – I knew there was really only one dignified alternative. I walked the plank and shaved my head and adopted the shaved look, a looked I had liked the first time I tried it hence I studied the possibility of getting SMP to get a nice hairline to frame my face. But never mind, my head shape is decent but my dome is not the biggest but we can’t win them all can’t we eh?
Two years have now passed since that and I’ve been keeping it Sly for the most part. The aim is to own the look more and more. It’s symbolically, visually and mentally liberating, for once after so many years of silent anguish, I can lay my head on my pillow, close my eyes and know what state my appearance will be come the next morning. I’m learning to look past people’s appearances. One’s innate, hereditary physical qualities, blemishes and imperfections. I’m learning to look in the mirror and like what I see, I now appreciate fellow Slys and how handsome we bald guys can be, like Michael Rosenbaum’s Lex Luther in Smallville for example. The only stigma I haven’t yet quite managed to fully dispel of is the prospect of meeting old friends who are now distant acquaintances, who haven’t seen my Sly look yet, whom I might bump into while out and about. That’s an externality I’m still learning how to tame/ react to.
In conclusion, If I equate life to a perennial game of poker, whilst bearing in mind the concept of playing the cards you’re dealt; in certain circumstances, shaving your head is a bloody good move.
Welcome to the Forum, Edmund. Glad you're here. It seems like you reflected a lot and have come to some wise realizations. It took me a lot longer to get where you are. Good for you!
I also worried about running into old friends and acquaintances after going sly, but I soon figured out it was nothing to be concerned about. Most of these people who remembered me with hair, took an initial look at me, gave me a knowing smile and then moved on to other business. Guys go bald, whether by choice or not and everyone knows that.
Enjoy the Forum. We look forward to your participation.
Well said, Edmond and Mike.
Welcome
Welcome Edmond, sounds like you have made a good choice!
Welcome to the board, Edmond! Nice story and intro.
Welcome Edmond. After being BBC for 1.5 years, I find that a few people that knew me when I was younger, are uncomfortable with my baldness. They don't say anything, just won't make much eye contact. Everyone else in the world accept my look as my normal.
Thanks for sharing the story.
In conclusion, If I equate life to a perennial game of poker, whilst bearing in mind the concept of playing the cards you’re dealt; in certain circumstances, shaving your head is a bloody good move.
Great introduction, Edmond. I often use the life as a poker game metaphor, but I never have thought to include shaving as a move in the game.
Welcome to the board, sir.
Great intro Edmund. I hope that You grow to be comfortable with the sly look. Post a picture when You can. Good luck to You in the future.
Great intro Edmond! Keep up your confidence and I'm sure you'll find your Mercedes one day.
I wanna thank each of the above posters and all the other members of the forum for making me feel welcome. As for Mercedes, mine is buried in the past, I do look forward for many Haydées to come my way though hehe.
I wanna thank each of the above posters and all the other members of the forum for making me feel welcome. As for Mercedes, mine is buried in the past, I do look forward for many Haydées to come my way though hehe.
Ah, that's right. It was Haydée that he fell in love with in the end.
Good for you on shaving your head when you did!