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#15 by Timmay on 24 Jul, 2007 10:51
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Thats cool Andy...just know that we are here to help you along. Time to get rid of all those nasty thoughts from your hairloss sites. We are only here to give you teh straight facts and to make you feel more like yourself..not what someone wants you to feel. Thats waht it is all about..Being yourself. And if having hair is yourself....then go for it. You will always be welcome here. Its all about being Sly...and Sly I say you are.
Good Luck...and keep us informed
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#16 by Andy007 on 24 Jul, 2007 11:17
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thank you very much, TimmJ!
its nice to be welcome.
i got to say, i got the link to this forum from a hairloss forum. when i first came here i thought all look "not good" and weird. but now i think you look pretty cool.
you know before i shaved it i saw photos of sly bald celebrities. and that was why i shaved it sly bald. so now i think its cool. though its not me somehow, that s why i will let it grow again.
but thank you very much. the last 2-3 days i didnt feel good, i was almost depressed, but now after reading your constructive and nice posts i feel so much better! that was why i came here. to feel better after getting a feedback. thx!!!
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#17 by Scott on 24 Jul, 2007 11:34
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Andy007, welcome! I think my bros have given you great advice thus far, so all I'll add is that if YOU want to grow your hair back, then DO IT. However, I think you need to not be so hard on yourself about your hair - even though you're 23. Most of the guys on here began losing their hair before/around their late teens/early 20's so we understand what you're dealing with there. I guess most of all though, don't hang around in forums or around people who are constantly berating one another or are 100% negative because that's not healthy for you or anyone for that matter. Just my .02.
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#18 by Andy007 on 24 Jul, 2007 11:43
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thx scott, ya i stopped now going to these forums.
the problem is, you even dont see many balding teens or 20's on the street.
and im vain. when i was young (around 16) i thought i would go bald with 35. 
i thought around this time there was some gen therapy or something else to avoid it. actually it seems like at the time i will 35 there will be something. and there already the current treatments and they do work for me.
coz im vain i think i will always do something and spend money to have hair.
but if it doesnt turn out this way or something goes wrong with my "hair plans" i know now that a sly bald head always looks good , too!
so i think balding is not the worst thing in the world. hehe sounds stupid, but i am just now realizing this.
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#19 by Koaa2 on 24 Jul, 2007 11:50
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Hi Andy,
Welcome to the site. Great advice and suggestions from others.
Beware of the hair loss forums, remember they are there to make money. "Follow the money is what a friend always tells me"
Suggest you start exploring with yourself what exactly hair loss means to you in psychological terms. Loss of youth, manhood, sexuality concerns, virility, girls, security, safety, etc., etc., etc. Might do you some good in the long run, save you some money and a lot of anxiety, guilt, etc.
Good luck and stay with the group. -
#20 by Andy007 on 24 Jul, 2007 12:26
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thx Koaa2, i think thats a good advice to think about what hairloss means for me psychologically.
hm...i think its losing of my youth. thats my biggest problem with it. or lets say that was my first problem with it. when i first realized i was going bald i thought my youth was over. i thought i couldnt go to clubs anymore coz im now too old or look too old to match the people there.
then i went to the hairloss forums and then i started thinking "bald guys are losers, bald guys are less attractive, bald guys are less of a human, people make fun of bald(ing) guys, bald guys dont get girls, ..." . i now mostly dont think like this anymore. but what i still think that it takes youth off me. i said before i look very young for my age, one year ago i was told once i looked like 12 (ummm lol) and once i looked like 18. my ex said i looked like 17. some other people said i looked like 20 (though they knew i was a university student, so they automatically put some years plus on me). it even depends on the hair style you wear. actually if you can tell my balding i probably look older , but if you cant i probably look like 18-20. but if i wear an emo style (long hair) or hair spiked up everywhere on top (like beckham had at football WC 2002, dunno what name this style got in english), i think i look like 17-18. so pretty much like a teenager. and somehow i like it. even because im not very adult yet, even in my mind im still more like a kid or teenager. so my outside matches my personality. i know i will have to become adult some time.....but just not now.
i think if i had really visible hairloss and people could tell, i looked like 25 or something and that wouldnt match myself, my personality anymore. its even i got problems in school and had nearly no friends. somehow i lost my youth coz of my problems. so somehow i want to make up for this time i lost. i know i cant be a real teenager again and be in school again... but i always wonder how it would be if i was in school again , 17-18 years old and had many friends and not these problems and had just fun. i just lost the years from 17-19. and i want to live them again. i dont know if its ill to think like this...but i look like 17-19 if i wear the right hair style (if my hair is really good and i want to make it good again coz i want to look like 17-19 ) and i am like 17-19 in my personality so i can make up for this time and i want to do so. i wanted to do so since i was 20. but then hairloss came. so i thought i couldnt make it anymore. but i got a strong will and luck and so now its nearly like i am 17-19 again. i just need to get my hair really perfect again and then i can make up for this time. thats how i think. at least i think i think like that.
well actually thats not my only goal in life, but one. actually yes...i just now realize that i want to be 17-19 again and make up for this time. so thank you very much , Koaa2 for this input coz it makes me realizing why hairloss is such a problem for me.
actually there now 2 ways (since my hair isnt absolutley perfect yet)...1. make my hair perfect again and 2. change my mind. because i think its more cool and more fun i will try way 1. . i can be old or adult enough time in my life.
lets see how my hair looks when its 1-2 cm long. then i see if its ok because with a shaved head its hard to say if there is hairloss visible.
thx Koaa2....though im interested in what you think about this? -
#21 by Stu on 24 Jul, 2007 13:12
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Beware of the hair loss forums, remember they are there to make money. "Follow the money is what a friend always tells me"
I've never visited those forums, but it wouldn't surprise me if many of the postings are from people who work in the industry and are just making up stories of desperation, and how using drugs, plugs, etc. are the only answer.
By the way Andy, I think that having a short buzz looks more youthful and confident than trying to grow the hair long and attempting to cover up hair loss. To me, you're 'being a man' when you don't attempt to hide what mother nature has dealt to you. Again, I would like to see your pictures to see if maybe you are blowing your situation out of proportion. Sometimes we are our own worst critic and enemy. -
#22 by frank_m on 24 Jul, 2007 15:40
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Andy,
First of all, welcome.
I am 'bald by choice' and I'm almost 40 year old.
It has been just over a month since I initially went with the 'sly look'.
Since I have done that, most people think I am in my early 20's and I kid you not!
It took me a long time to muster up the confidence to shave all the way, I was very nervous about what everybody else would think.
Since the sly look is 'in', why not give it a try for 30 days... if you had a few drinks and shaved your head, that might tell you something..... some of us tend to do things that we normally wouldn't do after we have had a few drinks, but usually it is something that you wanted to do deep inside.
If you embrace the slyness, you will feel like a ton of bricks has been lifted off your shoulders, no more will you be concerned with meds, specific hair styles, and worrying about who might discover that you are thinning. I know you don't want to hear about the meds, and I'm not going to lecture you, because I've been quite the pharmacist in my past, so I can't throw stones there.. think about how many euro's you will save if you don't have to worry about meds any more.
Now a days many people find the sly look attractive.
In the end you will make the final decision, but the guys on this site have given you some great advice: "stay away from the hair loss forums"... most people in there are quite negative, and if you constantly read that, it will rub off on you.
hopefully your friends and family will be supportive in what ever decision you make.
Take care!
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#23 by Tom McGarry. on 24 Jul, 2007 18:23
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well, the meds are working and well yes i spend some money every month in them but i want it this way. im young and i want hair (shaved or grown out). please no discussion about kicking the meds.
First and formost allow me to welcome you to the family.
Also, some of the other responses are good advise, but I think that part of your problem is that you have missconceptions of what it means to be attractive. Being attractive isn't about weather or not you have hair, or weather or not you are tall, short, fat, skinny, muscular, or what ever, it's being confident in who you are as a person, it's being happy with yourself and loveing yourself. I think that is the decisition you have to make, you have to decide weather or not you are going to be happy with who you are, and women and people in general like a man/person who has confidence in who they are.
I hope that makes sence to you, that is just my two cents. -
#24 by Andy007 on 25 Jul, 2007 09:55
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thx for your intelligent answers.
here is a pic from may of my hair . does it look bad? its now better. pease click to enlarge.
the people in the hairloss forum say it looks damn bad. they say about im from full hair away as far as the earth from jupiter. what do you think? -
#25 by BALDANDRE on 25 Jul, 2007 11:58
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thx for your intelligent answers.
here is a pic from may of my hair . does it look bad? its now better. pease click to enlarge.
the people in the hairloss forum say it looks damn bad. they say about im from full hair away as far as the earth from jupiter. what do you think?
Really, Andy, that's you?
For real, and I say this with respect I would not consider that 'good hair" worth saving...would that hair give you confidence to go up against other dudes with GREAT hair in a nightclub (when it comes to picking up women)....?!
Dude...I would shave and not look back...start living your life bro!
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#26 by Andy007 on 25 Jul, 2007 13:25
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thx for your intelligent answers.
here is a pic from may of my hair . does it look bad? its now better. pease click to enlarge.
the people in the hairloss forum say it looks damn bad. they say about im from full hair away as far as the earth from jupiter. what do you think?
Really, Andy, that's you?
For real, and I say this with respect I would not consider that 'good hair" worth saving...would that hair give you confidence to go up against other dudes with GREAT hair in a nightclub (when it comes to picking up women)....?!
Dude...I would shave and not look back...start living your life bro!
well thank you andre for you honest opionion! sure its not full hair like the guys in a nightclub have. actually i didnt wear it like this , i wore it a way you couldnt see it that much , i showed the front and brushed the hair on top forward. it didnt look bad.
actually its improving. so it can be good again in a few month.
i thought about it - well its my personal choice - and i dont want to show a pic of me and how i look . i dont want to risk that anyone i know finds out that i got so many problems with my hairloss. sorry.
but i can post a pic of my shaved head on saturday if you like. but only of my hair. i dont want anyone to know how i look like. not that im too ulgy or anything, but i want to stay invisible.
and well this pic is under "hard lightning" so you see the thinning more than in real.
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#27 by Tyler on 25 Jul, 2007 15:01
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i dont want to risk that anyone i know finds out that i got so many problems with my hairloss. sorry.
Unless you are buzzing it down or shaving it, I'm pretty sure everyone you come in contact with knows you dealing with hairloss. -
#28 by Andy007 on 25 Jul, 2007 15:15
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well people i asked a month ago told me they didnt see hairloss.
it doesnt matter coz now im shaved.
to give you a little update. i already have stubbles again. i will go for a buzz cut now. and then i will buzz my hair at the sides shorter than on top so the top will look thicker.
guys, its stupid to say without an actual photo. its really thicker now. like i said on saturday i will post a new photo and then you really see how my hair looks NOW.
this photo i posted is from i think may 14th.
its now thicker. anyway...lets wait until saturday and then you give me a new opionion of what i should do with my hair.
i think i dont like the sly bald look somehow. but maybe a buzz cut is an option for me if my hairloss is still too visible.
so first on saturday you give me an opinion, then i will let it grow one month to a buzz cut so its then 0.5 inches long and i buzz the sides a bit shorter than the top.
then we see how my hair really looks.
after this i will decide. actually i can hardly see my hairloss. but i know if its longer you can see it more. so when i have this buzz cut , well, maybe then i will buzz it shorter if its still visible. or at this time it looks thick enough and i can let it grow again.
sorry for these mindgames , if it bores you, but i like it.
my hair was about 7-8 cm long . thats about 2.5 inches. so not really short , and a bit above average or lets say it was long hair.
hair grows about 0.5 inches a month. so in 3 months its 1.5 inches and in 4 months 2 inches which is a pretty normal length with which you can style your hair very good.
let see how it looks the next month. i post pictures first on saturday and then every week so you get a pretty good picture of my hair.
i hope i am welcome whatever i do. the sly bald look just isnt mine. but i know some guys in here even are buzzed and if my hair looks too bad i will probably go for the buzz cut or a short buzz cut with shorter sides. i just dont like to be shaved completley.
i already feel much better now where i have stubbles.
all the best for you , guys!
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#29 by jp_bald on 25 Jul, 2007 15:25
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hi andy
wellcome to the forum!!!
ejnjoy your headshave
