Help! Im here because i need help and support - page 1 -

• Help! Im here because i need help and support by L.A. on 12 Sep, 2013 00:02
• My name is L.A. and I'm bald.
  
  Im 32 and my hair started falling out at 26.
  
  I currently save it down to a zero and never leave the house without a hat on. Nobody in last 3 years has seen me without a hat on.
  
  Im scared that i can not be successful in life because i cannot wear a baseball hat in a professional setting.
  
  Im reaching out for support from other men who know what im talking about and know how im feeling.
  
  I could cry sometimes. I think im ugly and i think others will be socked to see me without a hat on.
  
  I know this is unhealthy thinking and i know i need to deal with my insecurities.
  
  This is my first step in getting support.
  
  Thanks,
  L.A.
• #1 by Sir Harry on 12 Sep, 2013 03:58
• Welcome, L.A.! I assume you shave it to a 0 due to MPB.....Well, I have run into many professional men with shaved heads and they all wear the look well. Do you have any friends who are bald? Most people who have seen you with a hat probably know that you are balding/bald anyway, and probably it won't be a big deal to them. Just take some baby steps like on one of your off days, go outside and walk around for an hour without the hat just to show that it's not a big deal. Post a picture if you can, and good luck; we're here to help!
• #2 by Cave Dweller on 12 Sep, 2013 05:16
• Welcome, L.A.
  
  Wow, what kind of work have you been doing that allowed you to wear a baseball cap all the time? In any case, Sir Harry is correct. Most people who know you probably have already figured out why you are wearing the hat all the time.
  
  A lot of us are MPB too. Being sad and anxious about losing your hair is not uncommon. The hair "restoration" industries exist to take advantage of men who feel that way. And they make pretty big profits.
  
  As is said so often on this board, this has to come from within you. I am willing to bet that if you took your hat off, no one would think twice about your hairline. To others, your hair is as insignificant to them as your eye color. You have got to be confident in yourself and quit letting your self-image be wrapped up in your hair.
  
  It is time to take off the hat and be you. You will be OK.
• #3 by Crowbar on 12 Sep, 2013 05:43
• Welcome, great you have joined, taking that hat off is going to be like taking a weight off that has been there for so long. You will feel so good if you can just take that step. Be reckless, pretend you are doing something like sky diving, go for it!
• #4 by bennett11 on 12 Sep, 2013 05:48
• I had a long professional career and had a shaved head - this was at time where this was uncommon.  Frankly I gained confidence is being different.  I never wore a hat.  as been said go step wise without hat - after time you will be comfortable with yourself.
  
  
• #5 by g_bald on 12 Sep, 2013 07:40
• Welcome L.A. - you came to the right place for support !!
  
  I wore a cap for a long time too. I still do since I tend to burn easily - plus I like hats! But, that being said.
  
  Time to ratchet yourself up and kick the idea that you are ugly or that people will feel less of you.
  
  I went shorter and shorter for a long time... just recently I went back to the shaved look and barely anyone said a word. I have also seen other clients walk in here who "went to the same barber" and were not shunned or questioned. Look at actors, musicians, public figures or heck, even just youtube people with shaved heads. If you are confident in yourself and your abilities you can get the job you want. Put on a nice shirt, maybe a tie and you'll do just fine.
  
  It's been said and it's worth repeating... people who are judging you have their own demons to expunge and generally take it out on others. As a kid I was picked on relentlessly and it marred my self-confidence. Once I started to separate from the areas where I was being belittled by others, I started to emerge as myself. It's something to take to heart, if you feel 'trapped' to try to 'wriggle free' from your "chains."
  
  Hopefully this helps you out.
• #6 by isleepinthebuff on 12 Sep, 2013 12:25
• Coming to terms with hair loss is a difficult  thing and for a lot of people it's hard and especially as a younger guy. However most people can acknowledge if they see a guy with a shaved head, whether it is clippers or razored. that the guy is taking control and making the best of himself.
  
  Let's put it into context , you aren't losing a limb, you don't have a terminal disease, having a bald head will not stop you doing anything you enjoy. You may have a colder head in the winter and be more prone to sunburn in the summer but that's it.
  
  If people have seen the back of your head under a baseball cap they'll probably have made their own assumptions of what's going on under there and the reveal  won't be a shock
  
  Look at Bruce Willis, The Rock, Billy Zane, Patrick Stewart. Kelly Slater or Vin Diesel or if you want to go younger, look at Chris Daughtry, Pitbull, Danny Mills, Mark Sheehan or Jonathan Goodwin. Being bald hasn't made them ugle
  
  I'm not religous, I don't believe in life after death, therefore I see this massive fluke of nature that we're here a gift and being down or missing a moment, or not doing something is a waste of that gift.
  
  As your hair disappears, go shorter and get used to it.
  Don't be a victim, be a chooser. Be confident with yourself and get some support
• #7 by L.A. on 13 Sep, 2013 00:03
• thanks guys,
  
  your support and reaching out to me really means a lot. You are all right. Im gonna try to go out on my off days without a hat on. Ill start there. I would like to be able to go to work or class without hat...the thought is terrifying right now.
  
  Question: how do i post picture?
  
  Thanks,
  L.A.
• #8 by Sir Harry on 13 Sep, 2013 01:12
• To post a (profile)picture (commonly called your avatar)
  
  Go to profile and mark "I will upload my own picture". Then click on browse and choose an image from your computer. Make sure the image is not too big before choosing to upload it. As for adding pictures to your posts click on "Additional Options" directly under the message you are typing. Then click on "Choose file" Make sure the image you are adding to your posts are no more than 128 KB or 640X480. You may have to resize some images before uploading. I use Irfanview to resize all of my oversized images; it's free and easy to download. Sorry for the long-winded response, but I hope it helps. PM me if you need any more details.
• #9 by xnewyawka on 18 Sep, 2013 11:54
• Welcome to the forum L.A. I suggest you keep the dome buzzed tight, until you feel comfortable enough to go for the full shave. I guarantee that once you do decide to go for the blade shave, you're gonna love it. You will probably wish you had done it sooner.
  Meantime, ditch the ballcaps and stand tall and proud, be yourself, be strong. 
• #10 by Vidders on 18 Sep, 2013 17:27
• Just do it buddy! Better to look too manly than hide under the cap
• #11 by Cave Dweller on 18 Sep, 2013 19:49
• Wait. THAT is what you have been afraid to uncover? Please put those fears to rest, sir. You look fine.
  
  Leave the hat at home.
• #12 by waine on 19 Sep, 2013 00:43
• Hi there LA and welcome...
  
  It is no doubt a bold and brave step to go all the way. As one reader said, "It is like losing a limb".   Many of us here just decided to take the plunge one day, after thinking about it -- some for a long time, some more spontaneous.  A lot of what has been said here on this thread is so true.  All I can say is:  it is all about deciding to "put on" confidence, even if you don't really have it.   
• #13 by Baldstu on 19 Sep, 2013 08:49
• I think losing a limb is being very dramatical when comparing it with a full headshave . No need for the dramatics , times have changed and western culturei s far more broadminded.
  
  The guy just has to make his own mind on what ever hair style he likes .
• #14 by sahil15 on 19 Sep, 2013 09:56
• loads of successful people are bald... you see any CEO of a big company... theyre bald...
  
  Hair loss does suck but its not the end of the world... and you are not ugly... Its natural to feel insecure but you cant hide behind a hat forever... embrace it and the world will be your oyster... you are gona get through it... take one step at a time.