Why didn't someone warn me, and I thought you were all my friends.
What's amazing is that everyone had the grace not to laugh outloud
He forgot the one line he really needs "I once was lost" , but the 2nd part of the phrase definately does not apply, cause he ain't gonna be found!!

As Carlos Mencina would say... DE-DE-DEE
Hello... HELLO! Oh no, I think I'm deaf! 
Deafness would be a blessing.
Why didn't someone warn me, and I thought you were all my friends.
We wanted you to get ambushed just like we did.
Wowee-wow!!! I couldn't even get through the whole thing. If you will excuse me now I have to go clean my ears up...They're bleeding.