So I met a guy online from another country, we hit it off right away. I liked his picture, he is handsome, good looking, has a good job, is a great guy and overall very dedicated and a great catch. I know it might sound weird but we fell in love. My work is in a specific felt in which I cannot just leave so planning a trip to see each other has been rather difficult, but we are finally going to meet in a month.

I'm not stressed or worried about the attraction side, we both like how the other person looks and we certainly like each other's personalities. It took him a while to even tell me about the Alopecia (he shaves his head), and when he did, he got so upset and started crying and wanted to get off the phone. I reassured him that it made no difference to me and I still cared about him. I was a little disappointed it took him so long to tell me but I understood because he is pretty sensitive and I just wanted him to be okay.
A few months passed again and I had discussed this with his sister, she kept asking when I was visiting etc and I told her when ever I asked when we could set up a date he would make excuses, which he sort of did. She told me to stand my ground and don't take no for an answer and that's what I did. I made it clear I was visiting and if he wanted he could see me if not then it's over, but that I had enough of the distance and I felt he was making excuses.
Then he got kind of upset and finally came clean saying that he was afraid because of his head. That it grows in patches and that he thought it would turn me off. He was so upset and it was REALLY hard for him to say that to me. He never discussed the Alopecia after the first time he told me and I didn't want to mention it because I knew it would get him upset.

He said he felt that I was too good looking and that he isn't good enough. I reassured him again that I loved him as he is and that I did not and do not care about that, that I care about the person he is and not the fact that he is bald or has hair growing in patches or anything.

I wanted to post here because I wanted a male perspective on this. Is it common for men to feel this way either those that are losing hair or those with alopecia? I don't personally know anyone with alopecia, besides him so It's really difficult for me to comprehend the psychological barriers people might put up if they are in that situation.
I also want to know more about it, I realize there are different types of alopecia, he has hair everywhere else except on his head, I suppose I just want to tread lightly and need some advice on how to do so.

The last thing I was to do is make him feel bad or that he isn't good enough, but I really would like that wall to go down so that we could just be 100% comfortable with each other.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you guys have some advice or just personal experiences in dating and relationships.

Sorry hun, but I dont believe the Alopecia / hair / head story for a single second.

You talked a guy online in a faraway land, and he's probably now thinking 'oh 5hit, she wants to actually meet me for real!'. For him, it was probably a bit of online fun. For you, probably something a little more meaningful.

If this was a guy you knew and you were having some relationship issues with related to hair loss, then thats one thing, but a) internet b) another country c) 'a few months had passed' and d) "I had discussed this with his sister" tells me that something is smelling very fishy where he's concerned.

Guys with Alopecia dont generally walk around with a paper bag on their heads. They do go out, they do see people, they do mingle... so whats the problem with him meeting you, apart from the fact he probably doesnt want to?

Alopecia will indeed cause some psychological issues for some people, and I would imagine the issues can be quite severe in some cases. But at the end of the day, this guy is probably stringing you along and has been lying to you since day one, simply because he knows he can. The guy you think you know is probably someone completely different. Welcome to the internet.

There are plenty of guys out there... what would you need a situation like this for? What you're feeling isnt love, its simply 'hope'.

Honestlly, I have no idea what "alopecia" is

uite la asta. acesta va explica:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alopecia

limba romana, este 'alopecie'

yes, I was about to google it
and, 1: I never search in roumainian.
2: Google translate failed again (a bit)
3: dude, you're awesome
4...sorry for off-topic , but I still think that the relationship we're talking on this topic has like 5-% chances

I had alopecia many years ago and know how is that feeling. The victim loses control over his or her metabolism and loses lots of hair. Its a horrible thing to lose contorl of your own body. That makes the people still more stressed.
In many cases it's necessary a complete headshave.

The situation tends to revert after sometime, unless the person has an advanced alopecia condition. But in most cases it'a a temporary condition motivated by the stress. Since losing control of your hair is an stressing situation, the alopecians tend to get more sentisble etc etc, so thats why you love cried.

In my poarticular case, it started with a lesion on my beard. since I shaved my beard I paid little attention. Then a spot appeared in the center of my head and expanded until it reached the size of the large coin.

Strange as it seems, I didn't shave my head by that time. Since it was a relative small lesion I covered it with my own hair and it was not so much noticeable. But it was very uncomfortable for me.

Eventually I got my hair back. Hair started to growback and the spot became smaller and smaller until it disappeared completely. A curious fact is that hair start do regrow as white head, then becames the natural color again. That means we"re cured.

It was only a few years after that incident that I really started to shave my head. Early last decade I tried a smooth headshave and liked it and became bald by choice.

I suggest anyone with alopecia to shave the head. So it will be a little less stressing and maybe the situation reverts faster. People around such persons should comfort them and say it's not a such bad thing -- the victim is losing only his/her hair.

For men its not really a problem, since there are several men with shaved heads around. For women it's less comfortable but they can use wigs.

Quit nagging him.  If he wants to talk about it, he will.  Otherwise, get off the poor guy's back. 

Quit nagging him.  If he wants to talk about it, he will.  Otherwise, get off the poor guy's back. 

Where did you get the idea that I was nagging him? I just want him to realize that he is great whether he has hair or not and that it isn't important to me. That's also why I don't mention it, but I do want to know more about his condition. I'm sure if I had something like that he would want to know.

Stop being so rude, I didn't come here to argue, I came for advice.