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Having a hard time letting go of the hair. by CobaltBlue on 09 Feb, 2011 19:05
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Hi all, long time lurker. Finally thought i'd post.
Based on family genetics, my hair isn't going to stick around much longer. I currently wear it longer in a short ponytail. My temples started receding at 16 and its been a verrry slow decline since then. Im currently 33.
I always told myself id shave my head when it was time - and it'll be time very soon. The problem is im terrified to do so. Im so attached to my hair, and thats my own fault.
Plus I have a very wide and high forehead and think ill look like a lightbulb head with no hair.
Regardless, you are all a great group of people. The amount of support and positivity around here is really impressive. You are all wonderful souls. Just wanted to share that.
Cheers- -
#1 by TheSlyBear on 09 Feb, 2011 20:05
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Im so attached to my hair, and thats my own fault.
Not to be glib, but as you know your hair is on the way out and there's nothing at all you can do about it (that's not a stupid mis-step such as drugs or plugs). It's time to come to grips with that. I won;t say it'll be easy for you -- but I'll bet it'll be easier than you think it's going to be.QuotePlus I have a very wide and high forehead and think ill look like a lightbulb head with no hair.
Most guys worry about the shape of their head. It's needless. It'll be fine.
In fact, receding hair makes your head look bigger and more misshapen than going sly will. It may seem counter-intuitve, but we've seen it happen here time and time again.QuoteThe amount of support and positivity around here is really impressive.
And you count on getting that support.
I'd suggest, as a first step, losing the pony-tail and going to a short buzz. Then we can take it from there. -
#2 by Razor X on 09 Feb, 2011 21:24
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What bootedbear said.
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#3 by MikeBrke on 09 Feb, 2011 22:30
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I know how you feel. I had thick black hair that was my distinguishing feature. I would style it and it was "edgy." It was really hard to shave it off. And honestly, yes, I look better with hair. But I soon realized that "looking good" was not as important as I thought it was and my notion of "looking good" also changed.
But at the end of the day you can do one of two things: 1) cling on to your hair by any means possible; 2) shave it off and start a new phase of your life, without hair.
If you are wise, you will choose option two.
Once you adjust to yourself without hair, and stop caring what other think of you, it is truly a freeing experience. When I had hair, I would always consider what people thought of the way I looked. For example, I would think "Do they think I am handsome?;" "I wonder if they like my style?" But now I don't care whatsoever. I am who I am and I am comfortable and confident with that. In a sense, losing my hair has given me more freedom to be myself by freeing my inhibitions based on appearance. -
#4 by sailor61 on 10 Feb, 2011 07:45
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As a newly (one week) Slyguy I say if you're considering it and like the idea .... go for it. Most likely it will look great and if it doesn't - it's hair, it'll grow back. There's nothing to lose and alot to gain. It's really no different than going from long hair to a crew cut.
As for what others think about it (and that is always the major hang up)- it's your head and it's your decision how to keep it groomed. If "friends' are going to judge you on a grooming issue are they really worth being around?
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#5 by ozzie on 10 Feb, 2011 14:13
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Welcome to the forum, CobaltBlue. Bootedbear gave you some pretty good advice.
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#6 by Noodles on 10 Feb, 2011 17:50
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Hi all, long time lurker. Finally thought i'd post.
Based on family genetics, my hair isn't going to stick around much longer. I currently wear it longer in a short ponytail. My temples started receding at 16 and its been a verrry slow decline since then. Im currently 33.
I always told myself id shave my head when it was time - and it'll be time very soon. The problem is im terrified to do so. Im so attached to my hair, and thats my own fault.
Plus I have a very wide and high forehead and think ill look like a lightbulb head with no hair.
Regardless, you are all a great group of people. The amount of support and positivity around here is really impressive. You are all wonderful souls. Just wanted to share that.
Cheers-
Cobalt,
First and foremost, Welcome to SBG!!
Secondly, why prolong the inevitable??
Yeah, we were ALL once "attached" to our hair. But sometimes it's time to let go....and when you do, you'll find yourself saying..."Hey, this ain't bad.. not bad at all...in fact, it's much better than I could have ever anticipated!!..."
Going TOTALLY SLY is FREEDOM like you NEVER have EXPERIENCED before in your 30+ years!!
Take the "30-Day Challenge!!"
Click the "SEARCH" box above and type in "The 30 Day Challenge"! Then, don't just watch the video..WATCH and LISTEN to the video. Let the message within the video sink in and accept the challenge.
Dude, EVERY SBG member was, at one time, afraid to take that initial step of crossing that threshhold and going totally sly.
But what you DO NOT realize, at this point in time, is that it will give you a TREMENDOUS BOOST of SELF CONFIDENCE!!
Look around the next time you're out and about.... GUYS GONE SLY are EVERYWHERE!!
Remember this... the image you portray to others is the one they'll see and remember you by....
You say you see yourself as having a "likeness to a lightbulb" if you were to shave your head.
You seem to see this as a "bad thing"!
Let me tell you how I look at it....
I see it as "someone viewing you as a guy with a lot of "BRIGHT IDEAS"...
I also see it as you having an extra light source to aid you in doin' the deed, when you finally decide to go sly!!
All kidding aside, Cobalt, you're worrying over nothing. You'll be fine.
Will EVERYBODY you come in contact with like it? A DEFINITIVE NO!
But then again, you don't expect them to, do you?
The ONLY opinion that should matter to you, first and foremost, is the opinion you have of YOURSELF!
'Nuff said!!
Once again - WELCOME TO SBG!!
- Cap'n Noodles -
Post up a pic when you can!
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#7 by Nonick on 10 Feb, 2011 20:38
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CobaltBlue, welcome to the best bald forum on the Internet Looks like you already got some great advise! Glad you could be a part of this bunch
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#8 by CobaltBlue on 10 Feb, 2011 21:09
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Thanks everyone for the warm reception. Its nice to have encouragement. As opposed to whenever ive mentioned me shaving to family and friends and i'm predominantly met with a response of, 'nooo why would you do that?!' I know im not going to shave for anyone else but me, but sometimes I wish those who have known me for years could be a little more supportive. Especially when they know its a transition im having difficulty with.
I need to re-read some of the replies in this thread and let the wisdom sink in, lol.
Thanks to those who shared personal stories and advice. Its very appreciated! -
#9 by Razor X on 10 Feb, 2011 21:35
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Rule #1: Never discuss your plans to shave with your family beforehand. They'll try to talk you out of it every time.
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#10 by MikeBrke on 10 Feb, 2011 21:47
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Also, they may say "noooo" but as soon as they get used to you with a sly dome, they will forget you ever had hair. People don't like change, even family and friends. When I first shaved my friends were like "Wow, why did you do that?" But now they don't even think twice about it.
They like you for you, not for your hair. They will get over it and you move on with your life, not caring about your hair loss nearly as much! -
#11 by Noodles on 10 Feb, 2011 22:55
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Thanks everyone for the warm reception. Its nice to have encouragement. As opposed to whenever ive mentioned me shaving to family and friends and i'm predominantly met with a response of, 'nooo why would you do that?!' I know im not going to shave for anyone else but me, but sometimes I wish those who have known me for years could be a little more supportive. Especially when they know its a transition im having difficulty with.
I need to re-read some of the replies in this thread and let the wisdom sink in, lol.
Thanks to those who shared personal stories and advice. Its very appreciated!
Cobalt,
Would it help BOTH you and your family members to be more accepting of the SLY look if you could see yourself BALD BEFORE you ever placed a razor near your scalp?
Then check these website out --> http://virtualheadshave.baldlygo.com/Virtual_HeadShave_free.htm
http://www.surviving-hairloss.com/Headshave.html
Hope this helps!
- Cap'n Noodles - -
#12 by buddha on 10 Feb, 2011 23:27
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I am still very attached to my hair, CB. The only difference is that I shave it off every couple of days. But it's still there just like my beard.
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#13 by wpruitt on 11 Feb, 2011 05:27
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Welcome Cobalt
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#14 by D.A.L.U.I. on 11 Feb, 2011 06:55
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Family and friends--I think that many times their negative attitude isn't so much related to what you will look like but requires them to let go of the past in a personal way. They have their own issues with the changes that inevitably occur as they mature. If you move on by shaving, it's yet another reminder to them that their issues are still there, and many times those issues be it aging skin, a bit too much weight around the middle, bags and dark circles at times below the eyes, that's harder to get rid of than a receding hairline. For guys like us with mpb at any stage, we can hide it in plain sight. Their problems might not be so easy to deal with. So if they can keep you where you're at, they may feel that they don't have to deal with the threat they perceive in themselves.