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Im back! and need a confidence boost and some help!!! by prodigy1290 on 13 Feb, 2010 03:10
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Hey guys,
I haven't posted here in a long time. Anyways, I have a shaved head (I shave with #1, or no guard, all around facial hair too), it looks good but I have some problems I need resolved:
BTW, im 20 yrs old.
1.) I wear a hat 24/7 (no lie,I live in it). I feel like I only am somewhat confident when I have a hat covering my head. Right now im in my beanie faze because its pretty damn cold outside. Pretty much I can't be seen in public without a hat, its getting BAD. I just don't feel comfortable, it sucks.
2.) Since I wear 24/7
like mentioned above, I have the nasty hat-tan-line, and cannot get rid of it. I don't feel comfortable going to a tannin salon, and the main reason why I don't go is because I have read so many negatives about them, even if you go once, its real bad for you. True? I have no clue, im no doctor.
Any ideas on how I can tan my HEAD!!, lol. Its winter right now, and I don't see much sun. I am also pretty white, but I do tan! I just need to get out more. I plan on doing some more fishing soon, so hopefully that will help. (not really into the fake tan stuff, srry)
3.)I have social anxiety and let me tell you, balding has made it sooo much worse than it really should be. I am taking steps towards fixing it, taking slow steps now. I have a larger nose than most people (Italian), and feel that having a shaved head brings my flaws out even more. Which is true, to some extent.
4.) Girls: I don't mess with them right now because i feel if i meet them with my hat on, what will happen when they see I have no hair?
Went out with a chick at the beginning of the year, after a hanging out with her everyday for a couple weeks, I was dumped, and i feel it was because she knew I didn't feel comfortable without a hat. I also wore the same hat allll the time, lol. Big No No.
5.) Friends, I get hated on by them. I get called a cancer patient. WTF, why are people like that? I never make fun of others, but I get made fun of? Also doesn't help when my dad had a cancer scare a few yrs ago.Doesn't make any sense why people are like that, makes me want to transfer to another school.
Right now, I am getting back to the gym (I have a nice build, but I took last semester off of lifting, and im pissed..so im going at it hard now!!!) I also joined some clubs at my Uni and am playing on the club baseball team. Studying hard too. Trying to get college over asap, because I hate it.
Well, as you can see I am pretty insecure, and the balding thing has made it dramatically worse.
Any tips, stories....anything for me? I like to keep things to my self a lot, but you guys all seem very mature,so I am hoping venting on this forum will help me out and give me some good insight on this.
Thanks fellas. Appreciate the help. -
#1 by bartman on 13 Feb, 2010 07:44
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Just because the sun is behind the clouds does not mean it is not there, you will still tan. If you are concerned tan in your back yard. As long as you wear a hat all the time, your face will be more tan than the area covered by a hat. Tan in your back yard so they become similar in tan. Then quit wearing the hat, take it off when you are walking out side. You can still wear it, just less when outside. If your face looks more tan than your head it looks strange to me like a cancer patient. Tan that baby. I let my hair grow out for a month, then shaved it of again, I have a slight tan line in that short period of time and it is winter now. I am trying to get outside to tan it better, it is looking a little better now, not to much longer.
Shaving in my opinion does not make your nose look bigger but we don't have a picture of you. Most of that stuff is in your mind. If you accept it as normal, others will too, but if you show you are self conscious, people will notice you're self conscious of it.
You are 20 years old, it will take time for you to be comfortable in your own skin looking in the mirror, the only way to speed up that process it to make a consious decision to just accept it.
About the girl, think about it, you were with her for a week, she obviously accepted your looks during that time with all its flaws, whether those flaws are real or in your head. I would agree she dumped you not because of looks but because you did not exude confidence, or it could be as simple as incompatability and you may be making too much of it. I have seen some ugly bikers with hot chicks, the chicks are obviously not attracted by their looks or their fat body. I have see some ugly bodybuilders that had very good looking women, worked out bodys looked great, face not so much, so looks had little to do with that attraction.
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#2 by Papa Don on 13 Feb, 2010 08:01
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Hello Prod. Good that you are back with us. Man, look around, you are not the only bald guy on this Earth. It's just what Mother Nature handed about half the men alive. Get on with your life and accept the fact that you are hair challenged. No big thing. Your lack of confidence is your biggest challenge. Accept who you are and be proud. You have a loving family and no doubt many friends who have accepted you as you are. Be happy!
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#3 by D.A.L.U.I. on 13 Feb, 2010 08:08
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You are not the only one, check around the Site--lots of guys your age are dealing w/ mpb at an early age. I had two classmates in law school who were profoundly bald when they started, went to skin before undergraduate studies were over. My daughter had a good friend, she had a bad crush on him, who was skin by his graduation.
It's just the best solution to shave it, you're experienced at the gym so it will look good--and gyms by in large all have a lot of guys who are doing something positive about their appearance in addition to peeling the grape. You're one of them. It's not a bad thing--really. Ditch the hat, if it's not cold, get on with life--oh, sunscreen is now your best friend. -
#4 by Sean25 on 13 Feb, 2010 11:19
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I was in your exact same shoes last year. I really do mean exact. The only advice that will work is that you just need to do it. You have to go all the way, it will solve all of your confidence problems with time. It definitely did for me. I had no confidence at all now I have a few women in line. Imagine what you will accomplish when you aren't worrying about your hair or lack of. Message me if u have any questions
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#5 by prodigy1290 on 13 Feb, 2010 18:22
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Just because the sun is behind the clouds does not mean it is not there, you will still tan. If you are concerned tan in your back yard. As long as you wear a hat all the time, your face will be more tan than the area covered by a hat. Tan in your back yard so they become similar in tan. Then quit wearing the hat, take it off when you are walking out side. You can still wear it, just less when outside. If your face looks more tan than your head it looks strange to me like a cancer patient. Tan that baby. I let my hair grow out for a month, then shaved it of again, I have a slight tan line in that short period of time and it is winter now. I am trying to get outside to tan it better, it is looking a little better now, not to much longer.
Shaving in my opinion does not make your nose look bigger but we don't have a picture of you. Most of that stuff is in your mind. If you accept it as normal, others will too, but if you show you are self conscious, people will notice you're self conscious of it.
You are 20 years old, it will take time for you to be comfortable in your own skin looking in the mirror, the only way to speed up that process it to make a consious decision to just accept it.
About the girl, think about it, you were with her for a week, she obviously accepted your looks during that time with all its flaws, whether those flaws are real or in your head. I would agree she dumped you not because of looks but because you did not exude confidence, or it could be as simple as incompatability and you may be making too much of it. I have seen some ugly bikers with hot chicks, the chicks are obviously not attracted by their looks or their fat body. I have see some ugly bodybuilders that had very good looking women, worked out bodys looked great, face not so much, so looks had little to do with that attraction.
Thanks for the response!
How long will it take for my head to tan? I have worn a hat 24/7 since 6th grade, so it really had never seen the light of day.hah
About the girl, you are right, I need to start showing some confidence. What girl wants to be a with a guy who has no confidence. -
#6 by prodigy1290 on 13 Feb, 2010 18:30
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You are not the only one, check around the Site--lots of guys your age are dealing w/ mpb at an early age. I had two classmates in law school who were profoundly bald when they started, went to skin before undergraduate studies were over. My daughter had a good friend, she had a bad crush on him, who was skin by his graduation.
It's just the best solution to shave it, you're experienced at the gym so it will look good--and gyms by in large all have a lot of guys who are doing something positive about their appearance in addition to peeling the grape. You're one of them. It's not a bad thing--really. Ditch the hat, if it's not cold, get on with life--oh, sunscreen is now your best friend.Hello Prod. Good that you are back with us. Man, look around, you are not the only bald guy on this Earth. It's just what Mother Nature handed about half the men alive. Get on with your life and accept the fact that you are hair challenged. No big thing. Your lack of confidence is your biggest challenge. Accept who you are and be proud. You have a loving family and no doubt many friends who have accepted you as you are. Be happy!
Thanks for the support guys. I need to stop this bullshit, and tan my head and ditch the hat. Any tips on how to improve my confidence, or will it just come with time. Hit the gym, ditch the hat and tan. The big three.I was in your exact same shoes last year. I really do mean exact. The only advice that will work is that you just need to do it. You have to go all the way, it will solve all of your confidence problems with time. It definitely did for me. I had no confidence at all now I have a few women in line. Imagine what you will accomplish when you aren't worrying about your hair or lack of. Message me if u have any questions
YES. thanks bro. This whole hat thing is holding me back, makes me feel hidden ya know. Like im just hiding something from everyone, which makes me feel like sh*t, which is why i have the low-confidence. How did everyone react to your situation?
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#7 by Sgt. Pate on 13 Feb, 2010 20:05
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Welcome back Prodigy!
Shave your head, lose the hat and suck it up till you head tans, we all have to go through that. No more bondage to bad hair.
Friends don't deliberately try to hurt you... those are NOT your friends. You are better than all that and deserve better too.
Be who you want to be NOT what others want you to be. There are plenty of people in the world who will be drawn to a man who is genuine and secure in himself. Screw the rest, they're losers and not worthy of you!
Time for a change and for you to take control your life. You'll be so much happier... honest!
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#8 by clipped on 13 Feb, 2010 20:37
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As others have said, you just need to do it. I am in my 50s and was not sure about wearing my hair so short when it thinned out. However, I can tell you with certainty that if you just are yourself, do the best as you can at whatever - for you it's school, etc. - you will build confidence and grow, regardless of whatever your hair looks like. Those on this site know the difference between a 0 and a razor shave. I am at a 0 blade and very comfortable.... most people think I shave my head. Yhey could care less whether it's 'shaved' or a 0 or a #1.
So, your start is to ditch the hat, just man up and do it. I did not loose my hair as young as you. but I can tell you that this is not the worst thing you will need to deal with in life. But, it's good practice. Life throws a lot of curve balls. For some of us it's MPB at an early age. for some at a later age. For others, the curve balls are a lot worse and they put hair loss into perspective. At 50+, people tell me I look "distinguished", "hot", "Cool" with a 0 buzz. I learned much later in life than you, being 'bald' can be cool. so get back to the gym, work at getting school done, be confident in your abilities, embrace your hair situation and move on. -
#9 by marty22 on 13 Feb, 2010 20:56
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you look fine...relax.
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#10 by Arnie on 13 Feb, 2010 21:18
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Welcome back!!!
Just ditch the hat...you will get comfortable.
My best friend and I had a joke that was really blunt with truth. We were both balding and one night out in a crowded club I just laughed and told him..."I know why you wear a hat" and we discussed that to no end.
Finally, another great friend introduced me to the HeadBlade and that was it...now both of us are SLY...
I only wear hats now when it matches the rest of my outfit, it is no longer the given!!! -
#11 by Sean25 on 13 Feb, 2010 22:08
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They hated the fact that I wouldn't go out if it didn't allow hats and the depression that came with all of that. My mom noticed it the most and said I was a different person. The day I shaved it my entire family said I looked like a new person, even the way I held myself. 90% of the people initially liked it and the other 10 eventually came along because I stopped asking about it. Once you are comfortable with it, and you will be, it won't matter what people think anymore only you.
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#12 by frank_m on 21 Feb, 2010 06:13
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I live in a college town, we have 5 big colleges:
you look like all of the guys around here (old pics you had posted from last year)
shave your head & ditch the hat (except when it's cold outside)
in the beginning you'll think everyone is looking at your head, but you will get over that.
most guys looking at your head are thinking that they want to shave their heads too.
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#13 by TGB1 on 21 Feb, 2010 09:05
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I am sure that after reading all of the above all of your hats went right to the trash.
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#14 by mangosink12572 on 21 Feb, 2010 11:27
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I wish you lived near me - -I would take you to breakfast -lunch - dinner and introduce you to other bald guys (most of the state troopers here are bald -and I know them and there are a few in their 20's )
Maybe a little of my influence would rub off - -I never use a hat in the winter because I want everybody to see my BALD MELON - - I love being BALD
You are a young -goodlooking guy and being BALD makes you better looking - - -
Talk to me if you like - - -Richard