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How do you (did you) deal with comments that are not positive? by thebaboun on 19 Jan, 2010 18:25
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Some people like it, Some people won't, some people don't care......as someone said here "I like the way I look, what else is important"?
I just received a comment saying that a girl was a big fan of my hair in the past, that it looked great on me and she LOVED curly hair. She did not say that having that bald look does not suit me well; however, her comment irritated me a little bit lol.
Comments like those will happen in the past and I think I just want to get some "reassurance" and know how to deal with them in the future so they do not affect me. What piece of advice would you guys give me ?
Cheers! -
#1 by Undercover on 19 Jan, 2010 19:28
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Let's face it, not everybody is going to like the sly look, just like not everybody is going to like dreadlocks, or a crewcut, or straight hair, or curly hair.
You get the point.
As long as people keep the negative crap to themselves (i.e. did you ASK their opinion or was if just thrown at you?), who really cares what anyone else thinks? I know that's the standard answer, but you can't go out in public rocking a shaved head and expect everyone to love it. Besides, it would get really annoying having to stop every block or so to let people touch it...
I've had douchebags make comments about my melon because their lady friend was checking me out for longer than their fragile little egos could handle. So, being me, I usually fire back with something like "Hey man I don't care what you think, you're not the one fantasizing about how my bald head would feel against your thighs right now." or something along those lines. Gets 'em every time.
MAJOR EDIT & DISCLAIMER: I personally can't help myself from verbally crushing someone who's said/done something stupid and completely deserves it, but I would NOT recommend the previous course of action to ANYONE unless you're ready to have some jerk take a swing at you because he was otherwise bested. THAT happens from time to time as well. Being a smartass isn't always the best course of action, but its usually the most FUN.
In short, don't let other people's opinion dictate how you groom yourself, its your choice and if they don't like it, TOUGH.
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#2 by RyanJP on 19 Jan, 2010 20:48
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Mind over Matter, I don't mind so it doesn't matter.
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#3 by Razor X on 19 Jan, 2010 21:35
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Look as tough as you can and no one will dare make any negative comments.
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#4 by mangosink12572 on 20 Jan, 2010 13:53
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I have never had a comment that wasn't positive - - -Everybody likes the shaved"MELON" on me I leave the hat on if I think someone is going to comment in the negative
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#5 by Rob on 20 Jan, 2010 17:54
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I've had a couple of bad comments right at the begining (nearly 4 years ago now
) and I just shrugged them off. It was annoying at the time, and it could get you down if you let it, but all I had to do was look in the mirror and I was reassured I'd done the right thing for ME
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#6 by Dome of Steele on 20 Jan, 2010 18:13
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Hey Baboun, I understand where you are coming from. There was this girl I knew years ago, who told me "I used to love your blond hair, it was so smooth..."
It doesn't matter, I just told her, "sure my hair was alright, but I couldn't bear covering up this beautiful head!"
If you dwell on every negative comment, even if she didn't mean any harm at all, then you never make it. You must shrug off stuff like that and move on. You are now a sly guy, that is your identity, that is your look, that is who you are. Curly Shmurly!
Besides she was just trying to be nice to you, so you shouldn't take any offense at all.
So stay positive and get your confidence from within! -
#7 by Green 1 on 21 Jan, 2010 18:38
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My response has been "If you don't like it, oh well" I like it, and at the end of the day the only one I have to answer to is myself. Not to mention, if you carry yourself with confidence other people see it and are less likely to try to bring you down with their negativity.
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#8 by Lol on 21 Jan, 2010 19:38
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Sometimes people just have to tell you what's on their mind with regards to your bald head. It seems like tourettes.
I haven't had many negative comments, a few shocked ones, especially from girls I hadn't seen in a long time. But I'm always honest and just say I didn't like the hair I had, I prefer it this way.
I don't think it's the bald mans way to retort to stupid comments back. Sure, it would be easy to point out something you don't like about that particular person, or the majority you meet maybe, but hey, we're above that.
Never let anyone or anything define who you are man. You're bald, and hey, that's just fine by us -
#9 by buddha on 21 Jan, 2010 22:53
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Let people say what they want, if it's not complimentary just assume that they are talking to someone else.
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#10 by Ming the Merciless on 23 Jan, 2010 08:07
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Comments about my hair style--well, lack of one, I suppose, since if there is no hair, it can't be said to be "styled"--are really low down on the list of comments that grate. "Ho" and "Hum" is my response. It's negativity about my interplanetary diplomacy that gets my heat up.
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#11 by hammerdrill376 on 23 Jan, 2010 08:33
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I have had no negative comments bout being bald. Even if someone did not like it their opinion is that..just an opinion.
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#12 by Sgt. Pate on 23 Jan, 2010 15:14
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You know, I've said it before, I do think I look better with hair and my wife thinks so too but...
How I feel about myself, the control I have over my appearance and my self confidence all drive me to the Sly life. I do get rather frequent subtle comments and looks that are negative. Occasionally I even get overt criticism especially when it's discovered it's my choice to shave my head.
I think crossing the line from pleasing others to pleasing myself has been the most liberating experience of my life!
Presently I have admittedly given in to the pressure of others as I desperately need to find employment. I feel like a hypocrite but I must do everything I can for my family right now. This experience has however allowed me to more fully understand my "Sly" choice and yes, as soon as I have landed that job, the hair is coming back off.
I see the negative comments as a mix of true personal opinions and conviction for being a "people pleaser". None of us really want to be victims of what others think, to be pressured to do what we do not want to.
I dunno... maybe I'm just goofy!
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#13 by tomgallagher on 23 Jan, 2010 15:26
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You gotta do what you gotta do Sarge.
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#14 by Razor X on 23 Jan, 2010 15:34
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Presently I have admittedly given in to the pressure of others as I desperately need to find employment. I feel like a hypocrite but I must do everything I can for my family right now. This experience has however allowed me to more fully understand my "Sly" choice and yes, as soon as I have landed that job, the hair is coming back off.
What kind of work do you do? Do you really think a shaved head is an impediment to getting a job? In a perfect world, I'd rather show up at the interview with a bald head, as opposed getting hired with a full head of hair and then showing up on the first day of work bald. But I do understand that if you're out of work, you have to do whatever you can to land a job.
No criticism intended whatsoever; I'm just curious why you think it may be a problem. I think most people think guys who shave their heads do so because they're balding, anyway, and don't usually hold that against an applicant. I don't think most are observant enough to notice the shadow or lack thereof, unless the applicant is very young and has a very heavy shadow.
Anway, good luck in finding that job.