seeking help and advice (hair transplant victim)

[nomorehtworry]

Thank you to all the posters who have offered support. To @Buddha I agree that I am not a "victim" in the truest sense. I realize now that that was a poor word choice and I did not intend to put myself in the same category as victims of mass murder/terrorism/war and the like.

I am attaching photos to this post that show the scars on the back and bumps on my scalp that I have been hiding. Please understand that although it looks like I have all my hair, it has been gradually thinning over the years and since I am weaning myself off of Propecia, any gains from the drug will be lost.

I accept that I will most likely lose my hair, and I'm ok with that. I just want to feel like when I need to shave it all off, it will look presentable and not look odd and scream hair transplant.

I'm wary of the scalp pigmentation route because my hair is turning gray/white quickly and I'm not sure it will look natural. Laser resurfacing on the scars and getting the grafts removed completely are other options I am looking into.

Recently I also confessed to a close friend who is "Sly" and it was liberating. He was totally supportive.  Maybe I am making this out to be worse than it is. It's hard to tell where the reality ends and the depression/anxiety take over.

I know that my issues may seem trivial to some of you.  I'm just looking for some support from those who've been in my shoes and faced similar issues with hair loss, especially those who have the added weight of a hair transplant.

Again, I appreciate all your help and advice.

[chgobuzzbald]

I had similar HT scars/bumps. I first had 4 sessions of Fraxel laser which smoothed out the bumps. Then had SMP from HIS Hair in all the scars and all over the top just to the front of the hairline within the transplanted hair. Im super happy and shave smooth with 95% of the scars concealed. No one can tell. Don't worry about the color of the SMP ink not matching any growing hair. I do grow to a tight buzz sometimes and it is just on the scalp as background color. It is subtle.  The ink is a shade of black but really looks like greyish stubble like anyone would have who shaves their head. It is a fantastic solution for those of us who were insecure and succumbed to the HT industry. I can only speak to HIS hair and not the newer companies now doing it. It works provided the ink is a shade of black. Anyone trying to mix any other color ink risks the tattoo reverting to a primary color one day like blue or green. Shades of black lighter or darker are quite safe to do. It will fade after a couple years in the scarred skin but touchups are fast and inexpensive. I love it. For anyone worried about HT scars this is the perfect solution.

[DoberDaddy]

Hi really feel for you. I am not (was not) in your situation, so I can only understand to a point.

I know that sometimes we fear things that seem so unbelievable, until we actually pass through them. Also, sometimes, we have to experience something that puts our other fears in great proportion.

About two years ago I lost my parter of almost 12 years, and it was both sudden, and unexpected. For quite a while I tried to not let my tragedy change my life, but in time realized that it was killing me. Once I realized that life was changed for me, permanently, forever, it gave me the clarity to realize what I needed to put into perspective.

I stopped letting the small things that were so important to me go, and started looking at the bigger picture. The things that I was holding on to that were keeping me from having a good and happy life.

No, you don't need to experience a tragedy in order to come to that realization. Good therapy can be very helpful in getting over your fear/obsession about your hair or losing it.

Once you finally rid yourself of your hair, and all of the baggage that it carriers with it, you will feel such a weight lifted off of your shoulders.

I wish you the best of luck.

[nomorehtworry]

Thanks everyone you for the support and encouraging words.  It’s also nice to know that I am not alone in this.

I think you’re right, the problem is inside my head not what is on the outside.  I am creating this huge monster (in my eyes) and letting it take control.

I can understand how some may see this as not a big deal at all.  I know some people are in different positions from me and I most certainly do not think that I take precedence over them or anyone for that matter. 

Thank you DoberDaddy for sharing your personal tragedy.  I know I need to try to keep this hair thing in perspective.

I remember meeting a guy a few years ago who had his head shaved, shiny bald and had a huge scar on the back of his head.  The scar was ear to ear and looked like it had stretched as well.  It had all of the telltale signs of a hair transplant.  Maybe internally it bothered him but that didn’t stop him from being an outgoing person.  He didn’t try to cover it up with a wig or hide it in any way. 

I know I am making a huge deal out of this more so than probably necessary.  That’s the depression taking over.  I was always prone to depression, but having this certainly does not help. lol  Perhaps this is a test for me to truly accept myself for who I am.  I didn’t in the past and paid a price.  I know it could be far worse.  I attach too much weight to this.  On the outside, no one would really care either way.   

[kerryman]

I hope you are feeling better now seeing as this is two months on. I have read other guys in your predicament and many decided to just shave off anyway.I think the guy running the UFC is one. I hope sharing your story does some good for any young man worrying about hair loss who happens to come across this thread.What they never tell young men desperate to fight hair loss is you will always need more surgery a big wallet and medication for life.In my humble opinion the whole transplant business is a complete sham. You only have to look on the hair restoration network and see the guys still fighting mother nature even after numerous transplants .