Wow, I really feel for you guys with the punishment of thick facial hair. It must be terrible having the option to grow any style you want and not having any bald spots. Terrible. There really needs to be a support group!
Being punished in this way must be similar to my problem where I just have too much of this annoying money stuff. Everywhere I look in my home I find a stack of money, and sometimes when I go to the bathroom at 4am I stub my toe on some gold blocks that lie around my bedroom. It's just terrible I tell you. Have you ever tried to wipe dingleberries off your butt with a fistful of $20 bills? That's right: it sucks. It sucks but when you don't have any spare room to store toilet paper because of all these damn bags of money sucking up all my free space then you have to make due with what you've got.
Hey, why don't we have a tiny violin smilie?