Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => Reactions to being Bald => Topic started by: Ftank on March 28, 2009, 09:20:44 AM
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I personally like my new shaved head and plan to stick with it until at least the weather gets warmer. On here I get great reactions but so far in person I have been torn up. I am starting to wonder if the camera is not catching what I really look like, if such a thing is possilble. All my friends except for one want me to grow my hair back. They are not showing any mercy. One Bald guy I know just came up to me and told me he wanted to be honest so he just said "I looked better with hair". I mean why would one bald guy want to put another bald guy down? I can understand if that is his opinion but was it really necessary to come up to me right after I shaved my head and say that? He wears his horseshoe out and I never told him he would look better if he shaved it, although he would. It's cool though I am still remaining optimistic and I know I need to develop a tougher skin and more confidence.
I like my new look and it is motivating me to work extra hard at the gym and to keep my diet right. I think in shape and shaved head go well together.
In good news though I joined a singles site and posted my pics of me shaved and I have already got an email from an attractive single woman. I am learning that some woman will not go for the bald look but others don't care and some even like it.
Well I just wanted to share guys. Thanks for the encouragement on here because it does help. I believe shaving is much better than when I was taking propecia and rubbing rogaine all over my scalp everyday. I am not convinced those drugs are healthy so I am happy to ditch them.
Thanks again,
Frank
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Frank,
Forget them! It's all about number one, man. Why feel like crap to appease people that prefer you hair? If you really like your head shaved, then keep it. If you told those same people, honestly, that they would look better with a shaved head, do you think they would do it? Probably not, right?
BReady
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All of us have had some adverse comments at first, in many cases it's family and friends. The bald guy reminds me of two of my friends, one whose wife wants him to shave it too bc he has advanced mpb with the cotton wisps on top, and another in pretty much the same condition whose wife is against it. The first has told me he likes it, but is reluctant to try it--I can understand that. The second has said I should grow out to a buzz--I don't understand that.
My personal theory about this is that family and long time friends subconsciously are reluctant to let go of the past and face the fact that time marches on--and for mpb, hairliines march to the rear :D. The people you associate with at work probably haven't said anything, and even compliment it--they aren't tied to your past.
In the end, it's you that has to be happy with it. And it sounds like you have a chance to meet some women who won't know you any other way. Life's full of new beginnings, admitting you're going to wind up a bald guy and getting ahead of the game is just another beginning. Your friends and family will join too, eventually. Since 50% of the male population has mpb by the age of 50, and many begin in their 30s, you'll have company soon. Enjoy what you like, it's your life.
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You just have to ignore them. They just have to get used to the new you. You look great.
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Yeah its tought because you think these people are suppose to be there for you. You know what might help but I'm not sure if u'd be up for doing it is telling them you need their support for this. It may not seem like a great idea but ud be surprised how supportive they can be. Or you could just show your confidence and they'll realize you just don't care what they think and that you love it so they should just get with the program. But I've been there i just want to point out their flaws on the spot and I'm a little nervous that I may do that one day if i've been drinking or something. Oh well life is too short to worry about what other people think. I saw earlier that the ladies were checking you out.. Nicely done
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Stick with it bro. It has been my experience that those people who really care about you may be shocked at first but back off once they realize it makes you happy. For those guys, especially the ones going bald themselves are just envious because you had the stones to go sly and they didn't, just ignore them. And yes there are women out there who like , no love a sly guy >:D
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One Bald guy I know just came up to me and told me he wanted to be honest so he just said "I looked better with hair". I mean why would one bald guy want to put another bald guy down? I can understand if that is his opinion but was it really necessary to come up to me right after I shaved my head and say that?
Because you probably look better than he does and he feels threatened. Ignore the naysayers -- I made the mistake of caving in to negative comments the first couple times I shaved my head and I regretted it every time. People are used to seeing you a certain way and when that changes, it makes them feel uncomfortable. But they don't have the right to dictate to you how you should look -- so don't give them that power. They'll come around, trust me. And you'll gain even more confidence in yourself for sticking with it and doing what you wanted, regardless of what anyone else said.
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Because you probably look better than he does and he feels threatened.
I think RX hit the nail on the head. This guy is probably used to the distinction of being "the bald dude" and you're horning in on his territory. Ignore him.
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I feel you brother. My friends want me to grow my hair back also, even my mother does. But I won't, the sly look is just too awesome. If you enjoy how it looks, stick with it. Personally I feel a bald head suits you very well, and I'm sure everyone on here agrees. Either way as time passes, they will eventually get used to it. Overall I can say keep it smooth. You stand out, look good, and feel good.
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I can second everything that has been said. The bald guy who came up to you wears the horseshoe because he has a completely different attitude to hairloss, and in his own mind thinks that holding on to what you've got is the best policy. So be it, but this is your way of dealing with it and f**k what everyone else thinks. I'm 21 surrounded by people in the 19-25 age range so i stick out completely in the long haired crowd, and you know what i have friends with full heads of hair contemplating shaving their heads because they have gotten used to me wearing it and decided they liked the look. It takes time and they will get used to it, but regardless how you feel about it yourself is all that matters and that is more important than anything anybody says.
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Just stick it out and show them you mean business! Its amazing how no one ever says 'Hey: you'd look better in green trousers' or 'You looked better in that coat you had on last week,' but they all have an opinion when you shave your head. It happened to most of us at some point. I had a guy I hardly knew say to me I looked better with hair just after I first shaved. I thought it was rude of him, but managed to ignore him. The only opinion that matters is your own, bro 8)
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Some people who are close to you are not going to like a dramatic change in your appearance, no matter what it is. They are used to you looking a certain way. Huge parts of our brain are devoted to recognizing faces, especially of people we know well, so it makes us cranky when we have to work a little harder at it.
And total strangers feel compelled to blurt out an opinion, no matter how inappropriate. Yesterday, an old guy in the shower at the Y made some joke about my shaved head. If there's one place where you'd think guys are supposed to know not to comment on the appearance of other guys, it would be in a public shower. :/O
Still, it's better than a hairstyle that nobody dares to talk about to your face.
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One thing that I try to remember is that the comments poeple make about anything they don't approve of is that the comments indicate their individual attitudes about the rest of the world. If they decide that something is bad that indicates their worldview, if they graciously decide that something is OK that, also, demonstrates their worldview. But no matter what they say their view of the world is the one they see through THEIR mind's eye. It simply has everything to do with them and very little, if anything, to do with me.
I have very few people make negative comments about my look ever since that last guy disappeared. :x! Just kidding!
In reality, though, I don't really think I've had a lot of negative feedback since going sly. It could be that there hasn't been any or that I just don't hear it because it really doesn't matter.
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Right now it's all about your confidence. If you like your look and you say you do, keeping shaving everyday for 30 days and live confidently.
I realize negative feedback from family and friends is problematic, but they can and will come to accept the way you choose to present yourself.
BTW, more than a few women really dig the bald look. That's a fact. Don't shortchange yourself nor the brotherhood of the sly.
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Frank, welcome! The question is really, do you really like the new look. That is all that matters. People close to you will come around soon enough. I think most of the negative remarks are in good fun. Stick with it for awhile and see if attitudes change.
I bet they will. Good luck and yes you do look good Sly.
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Well I had a pretty rough reaction last night when I saw my ex girlfriend. She said I needed my hair. She said that I looked good with my receding hairline so I should grow it back. At first I was stung by the comment for a second because I do wish I would get some good feedback. That said after a moment I just laughed and let it roll off my shoulders.
I am becoming more and more happy being bald and I don't want to go back. Yes my hair still looks pretty decent when cut by an expensive barber who can work with my receding hairline but even then I have to go back every 4 weeks. If I go back to that I will live in fear because I am 28 and it is not like my hair is going to stop receding. This way I am getting used to being bald now and learning to enjoy life as a bald man.
When I was at the bar my ex gave me a hardtime but I again saw at least two women stare at me for more than just a glance. Again either they like to stare at bald men and make fun of them or they thought I looked attractive. So I do believe that in God's timing I will date again. Plus it will be better to date a girl who likes bald men off the bat. I think that is better than meeting a girl who likes me with hair but can't stand it when I lose it. I would prefer to be with a woman who is attracted to bald men.
Okay I just wanted to share. This is mostly a positive post because I am still shaving and liking it more. I just wanted to share the reaction I got from the ex.
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Hmmm . . . she's an ex-girlfriend. Ex, being the operative word. Good reason? I think, probably so. ^-^
Red
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Yeah: the 'ex' probably isnt too happy at seeing you movin on. You've moved on and she's stuck in the past: where she belongs! 8)
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You've got the right attitude Ftank. Still with it and the dating thing will fall into place nicely.
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Stay with it man. You rock the sly look
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I must agree with Rob and Red about the whole ex thing. My ex actually cried when she first saw that my head was shaved, I laughed. Anyway stay sly dude, you look great.
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If you like the look then stick with it. It sounds like the people you're around are just trying to control/manipulate you into being what THEY want you to be. The sly look suits you very well - it's really about what you want/like, not what they want/like.
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You sound a lot like me...I was thining/receding at about 27....Stick with it, if the ladies are only interested for the hair...then they aren't worth wasting time with...show confidence and stand tall you will feel better
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Hey frank,
Thanks for posting this thread, after reading everyones comments to your experiences it has given me that little bit more confidence to go head with re-shaving my dome. I came to the realisation today that my mum is probably over it because she doesn't make any more comments about my zero buzzed haircut. All she does these days is rubs it now and again which i actually dont mind. My dad is quite bare up top and is jealous of the fact that im shaving off hair that he wishes he had.
You hit the nail on the head regarding the feelings that surface when you're stressing about the receeding/thinning hair line. Granted mine is not all that advanced and most people from the untrained eye would say im not balding at all.
When i first went sly over 18 months ago I had mixed reactions from my family. My brother said he hated it at first, but then came to like it, in the same day might I add. I've had a lot of different reactions to my sly head and my buzzed head. One reaction that i was really pleased with was a friend of mine that had never seen me with hair, saw me after a week of not shaving. He said, WOW you have hair? i thought you were bald.
Stick with it mate, if it makes YOU happy then that is the main thing.
Thanks also guys for a great support site.
Pete