Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => Advantages and Disadvantages to being Bald => Topic started by: Ghost1988 on February 12, 2009, 10:40:45 PM
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i know your all sly now but im wondering if you ever have days where you look in the mirror and get bummed out about your hairloss and wish you still had it.
ever since that post i had awhile back titled "i need a little confidence booster" about how i hit rock bottom about my hairloss and was having a hard time coping with it, ive been doing A LOT better. you guys helped a lot. there are still days here and there where im extremely bummed and unsatisfied with my hairloss to the point where shaving doesnt seem to make a difference. today was one of the "bad" days ive had since that post. i guess you can say i kind of had a panic attack (ya i know kinda weird considering ive been dealing with this a long time now). but anyways..... today i spent literally like a half an hour in the bathroom examining my hair in the mirror from all different angles, and that definately depressed me. it made me so pissed off i kinda flipped out, grabbed my razor and tied to shave my head harder than normal to try and once and for all completely get rid of the balding shadow, which just led to me tearing up my head to the point of it looking like im wearing a red polkadot hat lol.
it seems like as time goes by im adapting to my hairloss more and more but theres still days where i get so bummed out about it that literally my whole day sucks. my question to you guys is, am i always going to have "off days" like this or am i eventually going to get over my hairloss completely. how often do you guys have bad days about your hair if any?
i feel like i can get over my hairloss completely (i was doing pretty good for awhile) if it stays at the point it is now. the problem is the fear of the future/unknown and how much more ill lose.
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I've always assumed, even when I was younger with a full head of hair, that I inherited the bald gene from my grandfather. I remember one of his sayings was "Grass doesn't grow on a busy street" when we little kids asked about it. He seemed to think of it as something to make a joke about, certainly nothing to worry about. My grandmother thinks he was attractive, and often said so. (He is wearing a military uniform in their wedding photo, including a hat, but I am told you could tell he had lost a lot of hair by then.) So I guess the role model I've had for this family trait taught me how to deal with it, and I always expected it. I am actually surprised from reading this board to learn how anguished some people can get over balding.
I am also surprised from reading this board for a while that people can radically alter their appearance, and the reaction from other people is not that big of a deal. Other people just aren't that interested. Look at all the proof here. Total strangers really don't care at all--it's just how you look. Friends and family eventually get used to it, unless they have other issues that some other change in your life would have brought to light eventually anyway.
Besides thinning out, my hair is very fine, so it never looked neat anyway. I think that bothered me more than a receding hairline. (You really couldn't go through high school in the '80s with short hair, even if it is what looked best.)
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Hey, Ghost, hang in there. I know that it is still rough for especially the younger guys. But it does get better. Just try to be accepting of yourself and take it one day at a time. Just look around at all the other guys with SLY heads and remember that you look just as good as they do.
And if you need more encouragement, we are all here for you.
Rick
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Do I still have days when I get bummed out about hairloss? Nope.
But I certainly did have them earlier on when the hairloss was beginning. Now I enjoy being sly. 8)
About the shadow.... It provides an outline of your hairline and that troubles you. But it is a real, masculine look. Hope you can grow to take pride in it.
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No, no issues with me because I'm such a better man since shaving it down. What's done is done and if I had a full head of hair I wouldn't have experienced the self discovery the whole process blessed me with. I know without a doubt that shaving my head has changed my life for the better. Kind of like a sauna... The best part about being in a sauna is when it's time to get out. That and I think it looks great.
I like what bostonbean said: About the shadow.... It provides an outline of your hairline and that troubles you. But it is a real, masculine look. Hope you can grow to take pride in it.
Chin up brother. Women have menstrual cycles and men lose hair. Embrace being a man.
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Life is a journey and for a lot of us here the hair part of the journey has come to an end. Now I'm ready for the rest of the trip as a SLY man. Forward.
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Ghost, about the feeling of being down on hairloss, my opinion is that it is a part of most men's lives. There are a lot more problems in life than hair. What would your feelings be, say if you were in an accident and were severely scarred or lost a limb ( God Forbid)? Take life and enjoy your blessings. You have good looks, health and a loving family. Think how lucky you really are!
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Ghost I can truely and honestly say ...NO! I do not ever think about having hair. Just suits me I guess.
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NEVER!
But I was bummed yesterday when I thought it was best to not shave after my annual trip to the dermatologist.
I shaved today, so all's right with the world...just went carefully around the incision.
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Never do I get upset about my hair loss. The guys on here helped me realize that I am the same person with or without hair. These guys got me to where I am today - that is being proud of myself.
President Roosevelt's wife once said, "No one can make you miserable unless you let them." I adopted that saying when I accepted my baldness.
Don't worry, we are pulling for you.
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Absolutely definitely certainly not! I love my shiny bald noggin. 8)
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Ghost I feel your pain man being that we are the same age and experiencing the same issue however ever since I shaved I have enjoyed a lot more confidence. But i def still have those days where I think why me. But I think the sly look suits both of us well and we need to work on being more confident in our new awesome look. I've noticed since I did it and joined this board I am dealing with my MPB much better. Hang in there buddy.
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Ghost, it's natural to have those days at this stage of the game, and I will have random days where I feel down about hairloss. Then the next day, I'm on top of the world. Like KC said, take it day by day. And know that you are making the right decision for you. The days, like you've experienced, will start to become fewer.
It's tough to lose hair at a younger age, but it's harder to live in denial. You are one step ahead of denial, and things are only going to get better from here. You've told everybody, this is who i am, accept me for me. That's a pretty cool place to be.
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Nope. In fact, I thank God daily for freeing me from the tyranny of hair.
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sometimes I do, sometimes I feel really self conscious about it, almost like I am going out naked and that people are focusing on my head. But most of the time it doesn't bother me. I've kind of put it into perspective. I read back some of my on line conversations where I would constantly whine and be negative about it and I felt ashamed and silly. The person who I whined to's mum had MS, I myself have poor eyesight that bothers me on a day to day basis. So I think to myself, how could I have been so pathetic? Once your health starts to deteriorate you begin to appreciate how stupid and vein we can all be. Not that I am criticising you it applies to everyone including me. I see it around me all the time (I am 23), people that are young and healthy and I can see don't appreciate what they have. Without your health life begins to become a day to day chore. So yes it still bothers me sometimes but I pretty much consider it a trivial issue. Maybe that will change when I lose some more I don't know.
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But as the other fellows have said I think you're making good progress and it is a long process. You have already got past the first, the worst step. I suspect it will continue to get better from here.
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I've never had one day where I was stressed over losing my hair, my horseshoe,or shaving my head. I am what I am regardless of the amount of hair covering my head.
I'll say it again....
Stand Tall and Be Proud of What You are Gentlemen!
( If you don't like what you are, then change what you can...)
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I've never had one day where I was stressed over losing my hair, my horseshoe,or shaving my head. I am what I am regardless of the amount of hair covering my head.
I'll say it again....
Stand Tall and Be Proud of What You are Gentlemen!
( If you don't like what you are, then change what you can...)
i wish i had that confidence. my age might have something to do with it. its harder when your balding at 20 compaired to say 40 i think.
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I've never had one day where I was stressed over losing my hair, my horseshoe,or shaving my head. I am what I am regardless of the amount of hair covering my head.
I'll say it again....
Stand Tall and Be Proud of What You are Gentlemen!
( If you don't like what you are, then change what you can...)
i wish i had that confidence. my age might have something to do with it. its harder when your balding at 20 compaired to say 40 i think.
I agree but it is what it is and we just have to deal with it. Besides Hair is overrated.
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i feel like i can get over my hairloss completely (i was doing pretty good for awhile) if it stays at the point it is now. the problem is the fear of the future/unknown and how much more ill lose.
Why? You've been complaining about the shadow; less hair = less shadow. I don't mean to be a jerk about it, but you might as well face the truth and not sugarcoat it. You will lose more hair. The younger you are when it starts, the more extensive the hair loss is likely to be.
The good news is your head is already shaved so you don't have to watch your hair slowly disappear. Accept what you can't control and move on. You've already beaten the hair loss problem. Nothing bad is going to happen; trust me. ;)
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I have days when I am concerned about it. For me, since I still use a barber and let my hair grow out for 2-3 weeks between barber clipper shaves, I've come to realize that I get bummed when my hair is raggy, unkempt and old man looking. The remedy is the buzz. I always feel better after I get the short buzz. I am working on self buzzing as a way of keeping the close, tight clipper shave. My hair is mostly white, but I actually like the shadow that I have. It tells the world, "hey, I clipper shave my head." I feel more confident when I am tightly buzzed. I would rather have my original dark brown color and more shadow actually. To each his own, I guess. Over the summer, on vacation, I had a tight buzz and tried the gotee, since it looks so good on many on this site. Didn't work for me - was all white and made me feel really old. so, off it went. Personally & don't take this as criticism, I think you would look better without the beard. Just a suggestion. In your photo, I think the beard accentuates your shaved head, but not in a positive way.
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Damn,
THIS is why I joined the SLY community. The outpouring of support here, positive thinking, confidence modelling, is bar none.
Ghost - I am 19 days from my 41st birthday, so I am gearing-up for my change - what it will be is still being formulated:). So I cannot speak to you from experience. I do know that there is tremendous widom in what has been posted here. You are clearly surrounded by care and compassion, even when you do not feel it towards your self.
All I can add is this; and it comes from my spiritual path:
"True fearlessness is not the reduction of fear; it is going beyond fear"
Fearlessness comes from benevolence and goodwill in the face of whatever oppresses you. You are afraid, but instead of fighting what faces you, you embrace it and accept it—you develop loving-kindness as a direct antidote to fear.
My wish for you, is that you meditate on the loving-kindness that is expressed to you by others, here. Then find that place in you that can express it to yourself.
At that point, it won't matter if we are discussing your hairloss, or the girl that you looked forward to dating, that didn't live-up to expectations. Your warriorship will enable you to stand strong in any circumstance.
Ok, time to go be a daddy on Valentine's Day.
Much love, brothers. 19 days!
Dman
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I have no regrets about the hair loss, i have the slopw receeding hairline, going sly was the best thing i have ever done, i have had people tell me that i look at least 7 years younger with the bald head, i have had people rub my bald head, i turn 33 in the summer, i do get id'd for beer, someone thought that i was 21.
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I never regret it. Going sly was one of the best things I ever did and I am glad that I don't have hair to deal with. I live in a very windy area and trying to keep my hair in place was a big pain anyway!
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I knew I would lose my hair because I take after my father. Shaving it was liberating.
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Baldness is in the family line. So I wasn't surprised when it came. I'm not bummed out because I have the perfect solution to hairloss! And that was going sly!
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admittedly some days are better than others, but like all the other guys are saying gotta keep your head up man.
I know the rest of your life seems a long time to keep one hair style (or lack of), but hey what can you do? The sooner you can become comfortable with yourself, the sooner you will realise that people will accept you for you. If you feeling down on a certain day about your hairloss, why not treat yourself to something nice, maybe a new shirt or the like. The little things can do wonders for your confidence and get you back onto it!
Keep your head up =)!
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i feel like i can get over my hairloss completely (i was doing pretty good for awhile) if it stays at the point it is now. the problem is the fear of the future/unknown and how much more ill lose.
haha, you said it dude... some days I feel great about my bald head, and then there are days I feel totally depressed... alot of it reverts to feeling less attractive. never mind the fact that I have been getting alot more ladies since going sly. I just can't help but to wonder how much hair I am going to lose, and how girls will perceive me... I will be the first one to tell you that those are vain thoughts and they are alittle F*d up. but that is how I feel some days.
but stay positive... good things will happen
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Look at it this way, there are folks who CHOOSE to be bald, so how bad can it be? I shave my head because I want to, not because it is gray, not because it is thinning, or receding. I guess maybe I see it this way because if I decide bald is not for me I can grow it back, but I have had long hair, long permed hair, "regular" type cuts, and shorter cuts, buzzed #2 on sides and #3 on top, but prefer shaved. How committed to bald am I? Well K-marts close out of HB products lead me to buy 2 HB sports, 3 bottles of Slick, and 3 bottles of Lube Matte.
Tom
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hey ghost...i know what you mean. i think it's more of a younger sly thing. i feel the same way about the shadow as well sometimes.
but just be glad you can rock the sly look well...if it didn't work for me, then i'd really be down.
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Once I shaved my head, I no longer worried about it. Hair just wasn't a concern for me anymore.
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Nope, not a bit.
Don't really give a crap and since I've gone full sly, I love my clean, shiny, shaved noggin look.
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Never have been bothered. 8) Most times I sorta feel sorry for guys who have hair! :D
I LOVE being bald 8)
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I have been down about my hairloss before I shaved. Not really now...now I wish I had even less hair so I had no shadow. Not because I am hiding it...just because the smoother the better! If any hair dares to even grow on my head I lay the smack down with my Mach 3 !
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Do I miss having hair? Well, that depends....
If it were a full head of hair, a little.
If it were a horseshoe with the irritating & painful itching that came with sebhorreic dermatitis...HELL NO.
SLY FOR LIFE. O:O
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At 55 Ive finally recovered from lack of hair. Like 30 years overdue.
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Not since I started shaving my head. My wife doesn't like the 'stubble' at the end of the day, or after 1 day of growth, which I don't blame her.
I only wish the shadow would go away and the hair wouldn't grow out so quickly.
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The only regret I have is that I'm not the bald guy in my high school yearbook. He was cool ahead of his time.
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dear oldkook: laser????
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Ghost, sorry its like super late, but here is my opinion on the matter!
I used to get real bummed about my hair, I would wear a hat from the moment i got out of bed to the second before I got into it, I would hide and be all shy about it!
But since my last time on the SBG site I had a bit of a break through......I love being bald! Its a thing that really sets you apart from other people because no one has the balls to do what we do and take the plunge!
Added to the fact at my old job I got a tonne of head rubs and compliments......not to mention nicknames, I am pretty cool with the hairloss thing!
I am not saying I wont have days where I am like "aww, I miss my hair", but for 98% of the time, I rock the head with pride!!
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Hey Wil87 bro, thank you for sharing that info. I'm sooooo happy things are going great for you in
your sly world. O0 Congrats bro.
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I know hair loss can be painful. When I first excepted that I would one day be bald I went bezerk. I rushed on meds and that was a mistake for me. So far I am feeling more liberated now that I am sly. I am excepting it and I am curious how dating will work out being bald. I am not really sure how it will go. But embracing the baldness has helped a lot rather than try to fight it.
I know it is extra hard for you because you are only 20. The first time I shaved my head I was 26 and it made me feel like people were staring at me and laughing at the young bald guy so I became insecure and grew it back fast. Now I am 28 and have shaved again and I am feeling much better about it. Either I don't notice the looks from others now or the fact that I am happier about it has really improved my life.
I would work on what you can control. There is just no point in focusing on hair going away because it can make you so unhappy if you let it. I would focus on healthy eating and hitting the gym. Keeping a well carved goatee like you have and a positive attitude. Do everything you can to not beat yourself up about this because it is not worth it. Best wishes.
Frank