Sly Bald Guys Forum
Confidence and Success => Relationships/Dating => Topic started by: Ghost1988 on February 07, 2009, 10:36:06 PM
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a little advice NEVER go on a double date when your "buddy" apparently had a "thing" for the chik he introduced you to, and set the date up with. he basically stole my shine and competed with me the whole night for her attention, basically leaving me and his date just sitting there dumbfounded. i tried my hardest but lost. she was more into him cuz he doesnt stfu and has a HUGE ego. she dug that more than me being "myself" apparently. i dunno if i should be pissed at my buddy or just forget about this since its turning into the story of my life with girls lol. i swear i have the WORST luck. it had nothing to do with me either, cuz me and her got to the place first and were their for like half an hour before my buddy and his date arived soo.......she was really in to me during that time and even for awhile after my friend came but soon started getting more distant with me cuz he was all over her(not physically but mentally). i kinda just gave up.........
afterwords he said "he felt bad and is gonna back off and not even talk to her again" i think its too late tho. i dunno if i should give her another call or not.
she must not be into balding guys after all lol. j/k. it sucks tho.
i appreciate everyones advice though. the funny thing is i actually remembered everyones posts and used em haha. it wasnt a problem "being myself" i just wasnt "being my friend" who turned out to be the winner apparently.
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Wow what a dick head. That pisses me off and I wasn't even there. That's a definite man law. Don't f*** with another guys date friend or not. Sorry for the language but that's kind of a pet peeve of mine.
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ya and the thing is he wasnt even trying to and i honestly believe that. its just his personality. he flirts with everyone without even realizing it. he genuinely did feel sorry after and apologized a million times but that doesnt change the fact.
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Oh, boy. And here I thought from the subject line that things had gone well. :-[
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Double dates can be less intimidating than 1-1, but you hit a major snag and found one the drawbacks of group dating/ double dating...
you gotta have a wingman you can trust... or fly solo
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Sorry things didn`t go well for you. Just remember it is not the end of the world.
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Get back up the horse right away Ghost> Most importantly.....ditch that "friend". Trust me.... he is no friend.
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Dude, first of all, tough break...I know the feeling...but at the same time, I'd say stay away from double dates for first dates to avoid this exact scenario. It's a bit daunting to go solo, I know, but first dates are basically interviews anyway...imagine having another person butt in all the time at a job interview...its going to suck and you're never really going to get to know the other person well enough to figure out if they are worth dating. Also, don't turn it around on yourself because if it is true she isn't into bald dudes, shes not worth pursuing anyway. A girl who would use a bald head as the determining factor of attraction definitely would have some deeper personal issues probably with her own physical insecurities. Girls generally are more interested in whether or not you have the whole package or not...I mean that literally and metaphorically hahah...but you seem like a good guy, but the only thing holding you back is using your baldness as a crutch, thinking girls won't like you simply because you are bald. If you have confidence, a sense of humor and always positive and smiling, you will do wonders with the ladies. If a girl ever eludes to my smooth chrome dome, I just tell them not to knock it till they rub it...which they always do...and always ends with the same reaction..."oooohhhhh"...pure gold...!!
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If thats a friend, who needs enemies? :Xo!
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From the outside looking in, I think the date was a throw-away, and that hurst. BUT there were some critical and positive take-aways:
1) Regardless of how the date actually went, before the date you experienced a beautiful and dynamic young woman attracted to you and saying "yes" to going out with you. That does not change and is not open to debate. Logic and law of numbers says that will happen for you, again, and again. As long as you continue to put yourself out there.
2) The energy you felt and conveyed when you first posted that she said "yes" about going out with you - you were excited, even giddy:) That felt good, and it was contagious to those around you. Review and remember that feeling, and wear it as often as you can. I guarantee you the next lovely young woman will be looking twice at you shortly.
3) I am not buying your buddy's "not even aware he is doing it" shtick. Sorry :Xo! I don't think much needs to be done there, other than to be cognizant that you can now trust him a bit less than before and that you cannot rely on him around this type of need.
This was merely practice ground for the best that is to come.
Dman
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From the outside looking in, I think the date was a throw-away, and that hurst. BUT there were some critical and positive take-aways:
1) Regardless of how the date actually went, before the date you experienced a beautiful and dynamic young woman attracted to you and saying "yes" to going out with you. That does not change and is not open to debate. Logic and law of numbers says that will happen for you, again, and again. As long as you continue to put yourself out there.
2) The energy you felt and conveyed when you first posted that she said "yes" about going out with you - you were excited, even giddy:) That felt good, and it was contagious to those around you. Review and remember that feeling, and wear it as often as you can. I guarantee you the next lovely young woman will be looking twice at you shortly.
3) I am not buying your buddy's "not even aware he is doing it" shtick. Sorry :Xo! I don't think much needs to be done there, other than to be cognizant that you can now trust him a bit less than before and that you cannot rely on him around this type of need.
This was merely practice ground for the best that is to come.
Dman
Good post!
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double dates are generally a no-no on the lst date or even 2nd....funny things always happen
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I met my wife on a "blind" double date. So I don't think that they are a total waste. But sometimes you have to go through a couple of duds before you find a good one. I know that I sure did.
So hang in there Ghost. Alot of us have been through the same types of things and eventually something works out.
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Ghost ~ It think the very wise Sly brothers have covered it all. But I will emphasize the obvious:
It's reasonably certain the young miss you went out with is not the single, solitary remaining elgible female on the planet.
Also, I think it is healthy to view these sorts of experiences as just that: Experiences. Life experiences, taken as a whole, add up to wisdom if we use them as lessons and not as roots of bitterness. What did you learn? (hypothetical question)
Hang in there.
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thanks everyone i appreciate it. would it be a bad idea to try and set up a "one on one" second date with her or no? she never said "im not interested in you" she just got reeled into my friends personality more at the time.
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Actually, THAt sounds like a great antidote. What have you got to lose? Worse case scenario, you confirm what you suspect. But better case scenario, you find out that despite your "friends" efforts, she is still digging you.
I have this vision of that happening, and you driving home all pumped-up, knowing that your buddy's efforts were in vein, and that you rose to the top!
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What's to lose by asking?
Oh, yeah. One other question: What did your buddy's date think of him flirting with your date?
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What's too lose by asking?
Oh, yeah. One other question: What did your buddy's date think of him flirting with your date?
it was kind of an unfair situation cuz his date was actually more of a "friend" to begin with so he wasnt losing out on much. thats why it was so harsh because it was actually soposed to be my date that he kind of ruined lol.
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Ghost,
Sorry to hear that your date went bad but I have a curious question for you. If his date and yourself were dumb founded, then why didn't you strike up the conversation with he and see what happens there?
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Ghost,
Sorry to hear that your date went bad but I have a curious question for you. If his date and yourself were dumb founded, then why didn't you strike up the conversation with he and see what happens there?
haha his "date" was OBNOXIOUS lol. she annoyed me all night. thats a good question though lol. if i could tolerate her i prolly would have made a move.
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You had a date, it wasn't a marriage. Sure your "buddy" is an "_ss" but there will be more dates, and lots of them--and remember God loves _ssholes, look how many he made. This was just you're first date proudly Sly--and it didn't turn on your slyness but other issues. Get on with life, date anyone and everyone you take a fancy to-I don't agree that you can't have an interest in your buddy's date unless they have a commitment that they publish to the world.
Now this doesn't fit exactly for a guy, but what I told my daughters early on in the dating game has the same message, "You're going to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the Prince!" Your princess is out there, go find her and have fun doing it.
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You had a date, it wasn't a marriage. Sure your "buddy" is an "_ss" but there will be more dates, and lots of them--and remember God loves _ssholes, look how many he made. This was just you're first date proudly Sly--and it didn't turn on your slyness but other issues. Get on with life, date anyone and everyone you take a fancy to-I don't agree that you can't have an interest in your buddy's date unless they have a commitment that they publish to the world.
Now this doesn't fit exactly for a guy, but what I told my daughters early on in the dating game has the same message, "You're going to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the Prince!" Your princess is out there, go find her and have fun doing it.
thats actually really good advice saint. ive heard that saying to O0.
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Ghost ... You've gotten lots of good advice from the sly brothers.
My only additional comment about "her" is that if you're still interested in her your best angle is to just ignore her. I'm sure she picked up the vibe that you liked her. She chose to follow your friends lead, but he doesn't seem like that a great guy given what he did to you. She will likely realize that he's an a$$hole and remember that you were a nicer guy. So, let it rest for a while and then see if you can "bump into her" somewhere in a while.
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Oh, boy. And here I thought from the subject line that things had gone well. :-[
rimshot ---- badum tshhhhhhh
http://www.instantrimshot.com/ (http://www.instantrimshot.com/)
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Oh, boy. And here I thought from the subject line that things had gone well. :-[
rimshot ---- badum tshhhhhhh
http://www.instantrimshot.com/ (http://www.instantrimshot.com/)
???
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God loves _ssholes, look how many he made.
O0
Well said Saint, Dman...
Ghost, your "friend" is a tool. I'd wager that's not an ego you're seeing, it's insecurity and immaturity.
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Oh, boy. And here I thought from the subject line that things had gone well. :-[
That's some of your best material RazorX :*))
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Oh, boy. And here I thought from the subject line that things had gone well. :-[
That's some of your best material RazorX :*))
Cold, snide, but really funny :D :D ;D ;D
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Dating is a numbers game. Its like Poker. About half of the game is determined by the draw, and theres nothing you can do about it. Then the other half is mental. How you talk to her, how the environment is, how shes feeling, how shes reacting, etc. And its different with each girl/hand.
Just like poker, some hands you have to fold before you even see the flop, some you get pot committed, and sometimes you hit big.
If you play, this makes more sense. if not, then it just looks like i threw a bunch of words at you. haha ;D
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Dating is a numbers game. Its like Poker. About half of the game is determined by the draw, and theres nothing you can do about it. Then the other half is mental. How you talk to her, how the environment is, how shes feeling, how shes reacting, etc. And its different with each girl/hand.
Just like poker, some hands you have to fold before you even see the flop, some you get pot committed, and sometimes you hit big.
If you play, this makes more sense. if not, then it just looks like i threw a bunch of words at you. haha ;D
P.S: Ditch the douchebag friend. IMHO.
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Oh well look at it this way. SHe wasnt the girl for you, maybe she is a basket case and now your so called friend will have to deal with her...
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Ghost, you could def. go out with that girl again, if that's what you want to do...
My last 2 first dates didnt go well either, but one of them still gave me a second chance...
oh and lets not forget, you are single, early 20's: so if you are not in a serious relationship its perfectly ok to hang out and pursue more than one at a time( or atleast that's what I've been told)
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Sorry to hear about the d-bag friend, Ghost. You have every right to give her a call back, sounds like she's into you.
If I was chick, I'd be all over you. So consider yourself lucky.
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Oh, boy. And here I thought from the subject line that things had gone well. :-[
LOL! Razor my brother, ya beat me to it!
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You're young and on the scene. You need to make as many contacts with hot women as possible.
Sorry the date wasn't much fun. But it doesn't matter. For every fish you catch you have to throw your line out there a few times, and sometimes they just bite and then swim away. (sorry for the cheesy analogy).
What's important is that your "friend" is a prick.
The fact that he said he didn't notice that he was dominating the conversation and flirting with your date was disrespectful to you, her, and his date.
The fact that he claims that he wasn't even aware of it highlights that he is either lying or he is utterly self-centered.
Neither of those options make him look good.
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Google AMOG and move forward grasshopper