Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => Reactions to being Bald => Topic started by: outshined80 on February 07, 2009, 08:07:02 AM
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Hey guys, i wasn't too sure if it was too early in my Sbg career to start a post ::)
With me going to this party i was like... ok shave my head, get drunk have a laugh try not to be bothered by what other people think, act cool, be yourself (and i was, so no worries there).
I got there and all was well, but as soon as took my hat off to reveal my shaved head (the crazy thing is, i have actually been shaving my head for years previous- tho i admit i did wear a hat alot- but they knew i kept it shaved) People weren't saying that looks good on you, or nice on shaving it (just clippers with no guard), instead i got people (friends i knew) walking up to me and peering above me on tip toes, wanting me to bow my head down(while i was talking to people?) so they could see how bald i was going, then say 'no wonder you wear a hat' or having people just walk up to me in the next room and just blurt out 'i wanted to see how bald you are after so and so said'. That really didn't help!
I mean, i have friends who are also losing their hair (hell even a few people that were there too - i just talked to them like friends and normal people, not demanding they show me their noggin) but they weren't asked to 'bend down so we can all look at your head' or 'all go on tiptoes to look (while im having to say excuse me? and carry on drinking) at my head' while i was talking to people, then for them to say 'no one wonder you wear a hat'. I felt like a circus show, my responses (i was too polite) were 'well it's life', just as a friend who had some kids, it's just life.
I even had friends girlfriends say (deliberatly nasty kind of) how much hair i had back then, to now... i laughed it off but i really wanted to say some equal things like hows that cellulite etc... not trying to be horrible (well at least as nasty as they were being to me, or at least how it felt) but more about, why attack me about something that's out of my hands? nothing i can do about.
This probably sounds really bad, and i apologise if it does! I just didn't get why they were trying to pull me down further! or even make me feel i 'need' to wear something on my shaved head.
But did you guys ever get this kind of thing?
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Stop wearing the hats m8. People will get used to it and stop mentioning it. They are only discussing it because you go from hat to no hat and back again.
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And find some real friends.
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Ya, what he said. It's the hat. The only reason people were making a fuss was because you were all of the sudden exposed without a hat. Stop trying to cover it up and be who you are.
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Hey guys, thanks for the replies. Sorry if this was pretty lame :/O , It was just how some people can be so damn nasty sometimes. I'm not as bad as i sound, but sometimes those kinda things just got to me a bit, that was a little while ago now. I shouldn't be worried really anyways, as i do shave it off ::)
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Unless it`s cool out or I`M working out. I never wear a hat. I want everyone from the door to know I`M sly.
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Like Tank, I only wear a hat when it's cold out, or sunny and I'm trying to avoid a burn.
I don't know what age group you were hanging with that night, but it seems that they were rather immature. It reminds me of the type of juvenile hazing that went on in high school, where people would show how cool they thought they were by ganging up on a person and picking on him, for whatever, hair style, skin condition, clothing choices, whatever they could come up with to make themselves feel superior at the expense of another by excluding them from their group.
I know it well, since I was a pen-toting, pocket-protector wearing nerd, constantly at odds with both the jocks and the hoods.
By the time I started loosing hair, though, I was a bit older (late 20's) and was hanging with a bit more mature crowd, so I never have seen it to the extent that you described.
I think Bear has it right, such people aren't really your friends.
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Outshined ~ Sheesh! What unpleasantness.
Theory:
1) These folks are intimately acquainted with you and very comfortable busting your chops and you're a little sensitive, or,
2) The flow of ardent spirits nixed their inhibitions and manners and they were too free with their observations, or,
3) They're a pack of discourteous, thoughtless, mannerless nincompoops who should be traded in for new friends, or,
4) All of the above.
Regardless, I'd suggest wearing a hat for weather protection only, and not as a coverup for a bald head. That's simply not SLY. If you're going to the trouble to shave, why cover up that beautiful dome?
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No hats allowed except in the very cold weather of for extended stays in the sun....
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Same here. i hardly ever wear a hat, I'm even reluctant to put one on when its very cold, or during all this snow we're having at the moment 8)
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hey guys.
I feel kinda lame saying what i said, i'm not a real sly yet. I walk about places (in the cold, crazy huh? :/O ) without it on, just when some of my mates react like that(and for ages, well easily above 25) i felt i was a target for them. It's pretty cold at the minute though, so that's not helping in wearing loads of clothing. I wear a hat round certain people/mates. I really should just stand proud, and i do sometimes, but not all of the time. Though as it gets warmer i'll definately wear it less from now on.
I hope i can make the Sly grade, and thanks for the replies.
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I been wearing a hat all the time here in NY because it's been one heck of a cold winter. Since I have been in Orlando on vacation I have been going hat-less with plenty of sunscreen !! O0
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That story reminds me of this quote from office space:
Peter Gibbons: Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday, and you're not feelin' real well, does anyone ever say to you, 'Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays'?
Lawrence: No. No, man. sh*t, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.
Seriously if people treated me like that they'd get the above treatment. And I'm a lover not a hater :@` :@` :@`
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NEXT time they ask you to TIP your head to "see how bald you are" ask them to open their mouths, and say something ELSE so you can hear how DUMB they REALLY are ! 8)
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I agree with everyone that said lose the hat.
A friend of mine has shaved his head for years. I knew he shaved his head, everyone knows he shaves his head... I never really thought much about it.
I went out Saturday night with a bunch of people and there was my friend, wearing a baseball hat. Long story short: Not long before the bar closed my friend takes his hat off. I must admit, it caught my attention. There was nothing for me to say, no comments were made, but I distinctly remember it grabbing my attention right when his hat was removed.
I don't know what all this means other than perhaps losing a hat all of a sudden is an attention getter and some people might feel obligated to comment. (good or bad)
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Hey Outshined, lose the hat, let the smooth or buzzed noggin' show, and stand tall!
I can't stand how guys wear baseball caps when they're not playing ball, it's ridiculous, and many people do tend to think it's to hide something. When you have a shaved head you need to get it out there. Be proud.
That being said, you should wear hat when needed; extended periods out in the sun, out in the cold, skiing, or other Winter activities. You don't need to wear a ballcap to the mall, or out to dinner! :/O
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The more your so-called friends see you without a hat, the better. The novelty will wear off quickly. Shave it to the skin and nobody should ask how bald you are or how much hair you've lost.
If you're confident about your looks, a lot less people will try to embarass you. ;) They're only cracking on you out of their own lack of confidence. So, confidence goes a long way sporting any look.
This goes without saying, but you should also find new "friends." 8)
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Yeah, I'm not saying anything new. Ditch the hat, at least occasionally, so people can get used to it a little bit at a time.
Think about it, with any hairstyle- if it's hidden under a hat all the time, it's going to be drastic the first time it's seen....
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I don't think its too malicious on their part... although they should know better at how sensitive an issue it could be for someone.
With old friends we talk a lot about stuff and sometimes we'd mention on how we looked different or how I had an afro back then as opposed to now but there's no bad intent there.
With people whom you just met on the other hand... now what on earth could possess someone to comment on another man's head?
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Guys, thanks for the replies&sorry for sounding so damn lame. But i wanted to say since i wrote this and read the replies i've ditched the hat completely since then (apart from when it snowed last night)! I tended to wear it around certain people (i was in other places 'open aired' and just went about my day). You guys words made me see some actual sense! And you lot are right, i felt bad, cos well you guys are standing tall and proud! Once they get used to it, things will be good, i think ::) (it surprised me, as i had kept it shaved for a long while and they knew - only recently i got those comments, crazy).
This hasnt deducted any points from my membership to Sbg i hope :-\ I've still to try and sort a pic out, so you can see me&my melon in digital form ::)
seriously, thanks guys for talking to me&knocking some sense into me.
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Good to hear Out, and it feels good to stand tall and be free, doesn't it?
That's what we're here for.
Get a pic of the smooth noggin' up. O0
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O0
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I'm bald by choice. Still, I'm an avid Baseball Cap collector. I love wearing my caps based on style.
I walk out of the house with a cap the majority of the time. One of the reasons I wear a cap, especially during
the summer is because of the sun and trying to protect my scalp. I don't like sunblock.
I never thought about the mixed reaction I might be giving off. Hmm....