Sly Bald Guys Forum
New Member Section => Introductions => Topic started by: Dman on February 01, 2009, 02:54:03 PM
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Greetings gentlemen and ladies,
I have lurked here for several months. I have learned a lot; have seen a male community that is noble and contagious. The positive attitudes and support is not something one sees in men, in general. So I am honored to join this community.
My story in summary:
1) 40 years old. Started losing in college.
2) Spent many years on rogaine and proscar. Gave it up years ago believing it was not working and that I was capable of maintaining what was still there. As well, I am an organic, healthy vegetarian, exercise-minded person who doesn't like chemicals.
3) Realized I was wrong on #2 (the first part), and lost a lot after going cold turkey from drugs. You live, you learn!
4) I am building in my mind the excitement of a shaved head, but am still closing the gap of missing how I once knew myself.
5) I am turning 41 in March, and would like to symbolically mark the transition with a good rite of passage:)
6) Things that hold me back:
-My daughter doesn't want me too:)
-External feedback has always been my vulnerability
-Former wife had cancer, went through chemo, still not doing well. I think it could be a lot for my child to take-in another big change that parallels her mom's hair loss
-I have had problems with oily skin, marked face, breakouts. I love the look of a shave head on a small-pored, flawless face. I am concerned about how it will magnify my facial flaws.
7) Feedback is welcomed and appreciated.
Here is a pic of me. I think the pic masks more than is really there.
Request/favor: Is anyone good with a quick photoshop intervention? I would love even a quick mock-up of what I might look like with a shaved head.
Thanks in advance. I feel as though I know many of you. I could likely look at pics of you and say something positive of at leats, the top 10-15 posters. I LOVE Warhawk's questions:) I look forward to establishing rapport.
Blessings.
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nice intro! welcome to the family!
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Welcome, bro: its good to have you here. I'm sure someone here will be able to photoshop you! 8)
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Welcome Dman. Sorry, my photoshop skills are pretty weak...but if you're wondering what it'll look like, break out an electric barber clipper, or better yet, a Mach3 or Fusion!
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Thanks guys. Your faces and heads are all familiar thus far:)
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Welcome Dman. Good to have you. To be honest, I don't know what facial flaws you are talking about.
But for argument's sake, let's say you do have facial flaws. At age 40 such things shouldn't be a big deal.
You should concentrate on the fact that you have a daughter, something many men wish for but cannot get.
Count your blessings bro. As they say there is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
When you realize how much you really have you will be very happy. I would think that your daughter would be fine with a bald head as long as you show that you like it. If she sees you sad about it then it would be too much for her to take. But as you said right, look at all the bald heads in this forum, they don't look bad, do they? ;)
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...I am turning 41 in March, and would like to symbolically mark the transition with a good rite of passage:)
Great intro and what a way to mark the milestone
....I think it could be a lot for my child to take-in another big change that parallels her mom's hair loss
Kids are pretty resilient ... and notorious for not noticing!! Great that you are thinking of her feelings, too.
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Welcome to SBG dman ...
Many of us here know exactly what you're going through in trying to take that big step to do the deed. I made excuses for quite a while myself. My wife was trying to get me to shave it clean for 2 years, yet after being on this site for 2 weeks, I went for it.
My daughter was very upset, at first, but got over it quickly. In fact, now she really likes it.
Do it when you're ready. I pondered every "what if" before making the decision and now realize I was way-over-analyzing the issues. Now I wish I'd done it years earlier ...
Andrew
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Hah! You nailed it, Andrew. Death by over-analyzation.
Well, at least we figured out what my headstone will read!
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Welcome, Dman!
Good that you take into account how your close family will deal with the headshave, especially given the special circumstances surrounding your daughter and her mother's medical condition.
On the other hand, you have to make decisions that reflect your own identity. A person's hairstyle, no matter what it is, but especially if it is a "statement" style like shaving to the bone, is a form of self-expression. If you are hankering to do it, you should do the deed. You can always let it grow back if you don't like it, but I doubt you will want to.
Your daughter will come around when you continue to show her fatherly affection, but now as a happy and proud bald papa.
If you want, you could start with a tight buzzcut. That's a first step and it may be easier for your daughter to accept. But in the long run you owe it to yourself to shave the dome. Going bald is a great look and a freeing experience that nothing else matches.
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Welcome bro, glad you decided to join. We need to get this forum fired up again....everyone has cabin fever in my region. Hope you enjoy the site
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I will do my part to bring fire to the table:)
I like your pics better without all that hair, Timm!:)
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welcome dman O0
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Welcome Dman!!
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Thanks, Ghost. And especially to you, Tyler. you run a great community here.
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Welcome buddy! Everyone here will be glad to help with anything you need! :D
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Welcome here, Dman!
Glad you found us.
Maybe the step by step is the way for you.
Best wishes. O0
J
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Welcome Dman. You may be surprised to find that by shaving the dome more attention is drawn to you eyes and not to your face so the concern over minor facial flaws would be reduced.
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hey dman: welcome 2 the sly fraternity. glad that ya joined us. remember... anytime one has thoughts of shaving their dome, that person will never be satisfied until he/she satisfies their thoughts. so... satisfy your thoughts & shave that noggin' smooooth. matter of fact, U will B thanking us on your new look. i promise U that U won't regret it. if U have any questions, please feel free 2 ask. do some research in the HEADSHAVING section of the forum: ("your shave routine", "what razor you use", "shaving cream or gel"). this section has priceless info on head shaving. again... welcome 2 the sly fraternity & keep us posted 2 your road 2 slyness.
WARHAWK O0
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A big Scottish welcome buddy O0
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Welcome Dman O0
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Welcome bro O0
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I will change that pic soon Dman....just wanted to put something different up. Good Luck!
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Welcome Dman! As far as the super oily skin that is prone to breaking out, that describes my skin to a T. But ive found that its easier to manage when all there is is skin, and ive had less breaking out ever since i went sly, on my head and my face.
Youre at the right place!
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Well Peripheral, if I can create a scenario for myself, like the one you have in your pic....I will quickly forget my T-zone:)
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Welcome to the Forum Dman!
I don't think you have anything to worry about as far as looks once you shave. You look like a good looking guy.
As far as marks and imperfections..... dude my head is the example for imperfections. I have scars, divots, etc. We all like to call those things "Dome Decor". Each mark makes each of us that more unique.
Ah yes the children. My son ran away crying when I first shaved my head and my daughter jjust said..... "I don't like it" (she was 5 at the time).
But they love it now...... so much so that I threaten to grow back the horseshoe if they are being "bad". When I make that threat they both yell 'NO!".
Many women love shaved heads. My wife absolutely loves it and on those rare occasions I tell her I'm going to skip shaving I alwyas get an "Oh........."
Taking that first step is difficult for a of guys but the freedom from worry quickly replaces any "What have I done feelings".
Nice intro too............
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Welcome.
As for skin issues, I've lived with a dermatologist since I was 14. Oddly, before going sly I had problems with my neck above the hairline, little pimples, etc., also some issues in what is now shadow. Since sly, no problems at all. My thoughts are that 1--every shave and prep cleans the skin, even more so w/ some exfoliation either by lotion or my choice a loofa pad that removes dead skin and oil from the scalp and follicles very efficiently; 2--with a sly head you can wash your skin more than once a day in the shower when you shampoo your hair. I use Cuticura soap, an anti-acne soap that I have used for years on my face. I also apply 10% benzoyl peroxide gel to my head after shaving--right after wiping down w/ a cotton pad moistened w/ hydrogen peroxide. The super cleaning has kept my scalp in perfect condition. Just something more for you to think about. You're heading in the right direction, and you and your daughter will really like it.
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Welcome DMan. Like Andrew, I fretted about shaving for years. Do what makes your feel good.
As for your daughter - my daughter was 13 when I shaved - she was totally against it. When she first saw it she said, "Well, I guess it doesn't look that bad." Once she saw that I liked it and her friends thought it was cool, she was OK with it. I know there is a large age difference between our girls but that is my story.
My son was 9 and went to the barber with me. He has been on board since.
Good luck to you and hang around here more often.
Sooner Steve
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Welcome, Dman. Great intro. Clearly you are looking at this from all angles with consideration and even compassion.
Question: Do you find yourself frequently thinking about shaving the noggin? Do you give a Sly melon an extra look just to check it out and wonder how it'd be if your head was slick? What do you want to do?
It seems to me that if you've answered yes to the above questions, you have the incurable itch for a head shave and the only cure is the razor. I think the look will be good for you and you'll probably wonder just what you waited for.
Give it a go. You'll always wonder, otherwise.
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Welcome Dman, sorry I'm so late with the greeting. Glad you are here. I too have had bad skin all my life. Breakouts galore. The perverbial T. Since shaving I do believe it has gotten better. So come often and chat a lot!
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Welcome Dman! I can make decisions in my head, but sometimes need that final push. Sounds like you're in that situation, and hopefully you get the push you need.
Enjoy the forum.
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You guys are awesome; thanks. I especially appreciate the words about looking at things through the eyes of compassion. This is my path.
Timm - much better! O0
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A late welcome to you Dman. Good to have you with us and I hope we can help you with the final push to "slydom". You already have the thought in your head, so we know it just a matter of time until you decide to take it all off.
Good to hear you are thinking of other peoples feelings as well, but like many of the bro's have said, you will still be you, but with a new look and probably way more confidence.
From your pic, you look just like many of us before we shaved. You can give the low buzz a try to see how comfortable you feel with it.
One thing you may have found out though is that we all speak from experience. We've all, well, most of us, have been through exactly what you're going through and believe me, the feeling of freedom and confidence is overwhelming to most.
Give it a shot, and if you don't like it you're only a few days away from a tight buzz.
Good luck and keep us posted. O0
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for what its worth; I don't do photoshop; but I looked at your pic blocking out the hairline with pieces of paper; and my prediction is that you would look good with a shaved head. Also ; I'll give the standard advice; go short gradually; get it down to a #1 and then to a .50 These will give you a good indication of how you'll look bald; esp. if you stand some distance from the mirror. Then (again; standard advice) ; shave your head on a friday eve. after work (maybe even pick a date when you have a 3 day weekend. If you hate the shaved head; by monday (well; tuesday) morning it will almost be back to a #1 ... and will grow back steadily everyday; and the shaved head will become a distant memory for you and yours. However; if you like what you see; you just keep on going; and then you can stop wondering and analyzing !
Good luck
John
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John,
If I had a penny for every piece of paper I held up to my head to block out the hairline....well let's just say I would be fairing the economic recession much better:)
BTW - liking your current beard pic. Bad ass but accessable!
Dman
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Welcome Dman
I say buzz it down to nothing for a while. It'll look great. Then you can take a blade to it when you're ready. Oh and someone photoshop a shirt on this man!!! ;D
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Power of Cheese,
This was the first shirt I could find. If you don't like lavender, well...:)
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That's excellent photoshop work Dman! Almost looks real!!!
kidding. I was just bustin your chops. Pick on the new guy stuff!
Buzz the hair down to the bone. I'm tellin you man, you'll love it, women love it, even my dog seems to like it. You have the head for it and it'll look bad ass.
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Hey Dman, if you want to get a good idea of what you'll look like bald, go to www.baldlygo.com and submit a pic. It's free and the dude does a decent job. I think I'm #13 if you want to browse and look at the pic I sent, the pic he posted of me shaved and the end result.
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Welcome Dman!!! I'm glad you finally joined us.
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Buzz the hair down to the bone. I'm tellin you man, you'll love it, women love it, even my dog seems to like it. You have the head for it and it'll look bad ass.
Cheese is right, you'll look great buzzed down and even better sly, believe me O0
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Belated welcome to you Dman !! O0
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That's excellent photoshop work Dman! Almost looks real!!!
kidding. I was just bustin your chops. Pick on the new guy stuff!
Buzz the hair down to the bone. I'm tellin you man, you'll love it, women love it, even my dog seems to like it. You have the head for it and it'll look bad ass.
You can always trust cheese. He will guide you in the right direction.
..Welcome to SBG!
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Welcome Dman, srry I'm late!
Let me start by saying I respect you for considering your daughters feelings.
But.... there will be a difference between a bald man and a woman going through chemo and hairloss. Lets face it, there are bald men everywhere, so I am thinking it could actually be a positive for her.
Change can be good right now, and when you feel better about yourself, the positive energy will be felt by her.
Its a freedom you have to experience yourself, and you will probably join most of us who have stated we wish we had done it sooner.
As far as facial flaws, who's perfect? The ones that stand out is the ones who try to hide it. It will always be more noticeable to you. You will look and feel younger.... its a win/win!
You made the first step already by finding us, the adventure is just beginning 8)
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I'm late too- I'm a nightowl amongst bald eagles
It's your decision, but let me tell you how great it feels once you look in that mirror and you're free from that hair-
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Welcome Dman!
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Congrats, Cman!
46 replies on your introduction. O0
I'm not a photoshop-master, but I gave it a try.:
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi262.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fii99%2FjoergHH%2Findex_1php.jpg&hash=fceed6eeb61ec3e5970744820f62e1aec6261bd2)
Looks not bad!
J
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Joerg,
I dunno man; that looks more like an attractive brain tumor or like Scotty is having trouble with the transporter again:)
A sincere thank you for a look into my future!
Dman
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yeah, Dman, but just notice how Joerg took out your forehead lines. ;)
Seriously, I think you'd OWN Sly!
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The best 'photoshop' is to just DO IT. Only then will you really know what it will look like 8)
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Hey Dman, welcome! My kids also love my sly look. I just recently asked them if I should grow my hair back, they pouted! The youngest said petulently, "But then I can't rub your head or pinch the neck meat!"
Go for it! Maybe let your daughter help you with the trimmer. It would be a blast!
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Welcome Brother!!!
My advise is simple...GO FOR IT BRO!
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:) O0 :) Welcome, Dman. The guys, especially Andrew and Bostonbean, have provided some useful observations. Many of your concerns recall my own agonizing. You do really have to do what is right for you and marking the transition with a rite de passage gives it the kind of symbolic imortance it deserves. I shaved my head for the first time in late October, 2006; when my daughter heard about it ,she begged my wife to tell her it was a Halloween joke. That hurt, but she soon came around and then noticed that many of the 'cool' guys with whom she works in Hollywood were also slick-domed. I was over sixty at the time and my acquaintances universally said the new look made me look younger. A slick head will make your facial features look smaller. There is a site that can show you what you'll look like after the change. Perhaps getting used to the image will reduce the trauma. There are many products that soothe and prepare your head for razoring. I use HeadSlick first and then Fusion gel to prepare my scalp. It also helps to take a hot shower (the water softens and thickens the stubble). I hope your 41st birthday marks a renaissance in your life. Guys in the forms will certainly help. Incidentially, I have been a vegetarian for 30 years and work out daily. Godspeed, Professor Melon
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Godspeed to you to, Professor Melon. And thank you all, as always.
I am feeling some momentum building around this birthdate, and how my "intention" is to mark the transition with a symbolic gesture around letting go of the old, making room for the new.
I am glad I am both not rushing into it, nor creating a vague approach with no clear timeline. My belief that I can and will follow-through is increasing.
Thanks for your ongoing thumbs-uppeses O0
Professor Melon - You look fit and healthy. As the vegetarian lifetsyle is somewhat new too (October 2008), it is good to see others with common interests on here.
Dman
Dman
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Do it is my advice. It will always grow back if you hate it but I don't think you will. 8)
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So, Dman ~
I think by now your projected date to go SLY has come and gone. We haven't seen anything from you for about a month. That makes me wonder how things are going. Are you out there? Are you SLY?
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yeah I wonder what happaned. :/O
If he were sly he would be here telling us the great news. I hope I'm wrong.
In any case, stick around Dman. This is a great place.
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Hi guys,
No, I am still here. I took a small hiatus in which I said to myself that I would return after the rite of passage of shaving my head.
I spent a lot/maybe too much time assessing whether to surprise my daughter; discuss it well in advance; or immediately before.
I decided to have the discussion just a short while before I was confident I could follow-through. Too much in advance creates anxiety in a child; after-the-fact just did not feel ok for my personal circumstance.
I asked for her support; I was declined. She got very nervous, and I imagined the anxiety I feel looking at my head now, is what she was feeling, trying to imagine my head afterwards. She said, "some men look good with a shaved head; you won't; I can just tell. so please don't".
I have many feelings, as I always do:(
I have no idea how one is supposed to balance personal versus other, in this situation. Especially, as you recall, my daughter has been through much - a mother who went through cancer; and being with me full-time, which should drive anyone to craziness:).
I feel as though my first commitment is to her. And yet...you know.
I am not looking to be convinced one way or another. merely to say, I am still here. Between a rock, a hard place, and a thinning scalp:(
I shall persevere; I always do. But I am feeling a lot of churn inside.
Thanks for allowing me to release.
Blessings.
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Dman,
Maybe you could slowly buzz it down to shorter lengths to help her get used to you having shorter hair and ultimately achieving your goal of shaving your head.
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Welcome aboard Dman!
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Hi guys,
But I am feeling a lot of churn inside.
Thanks for allowing me to release.
Blessings.
Hey, that's what we're here for. Your situation is somewhat unique with personal issues that are hard to deal with. We're here to listen and do what little we can based on the venue to assist you. I think this will work out somehow, it's just difficult to see right now what the exact road will be.
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Hair or no hair does not define a man. Do it and see if you like it, it will always grow back and you'll still be the same person either way.
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Hi Dman -- In your case, I like the slowly decreasing buzz over time as a way for everyone to ease into it.
Good Luck!