Sly Bald Guys Forum
Various Non-Bald Discussions => Autos,Toys and Hobbies => Topic started by: hammerdrill376 on December 31, 2008, 12:33:51 PM
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Today as I was driving around on my half day route I gave alot of consideration to posting this on SBG. It is a very embarassing subject to talk about publically but I have developed alot of great online friendships here and I really care about you guys. So with that I want to ask you to take to heart what I am about to write about.
Tonight alot of you will do the right thing. You will stay home with family and friends and have your indulgence of alcohol at home or hopefully you will have a designated driver if you go out. Unfortunately some of you won't and this message is especially for you
June 17, 2006 was just another normal business day for me. But that night, a Friday night, I was to man a booth for our company at the grand opening of a facility in Myrtle Beach, SC. I remember as I was getting dressed that evening there was a commercial on TV about drunk driving accidents. Believe it or not I remember thinking, "I hope I never get hit by one of those idiots." It never occured to me that I could or would BE the idiot. Like many of you I had been to bars for years, had to much to drink and drove home. There were a couple of times I don't even remember getting home. So like alot of people I had a false sense of security about drinking and driving.
That night the facility had an open bar and I can tell you that no one was paying any attention to how strong the drinks were being mixed. The last thing I remember was talking to someone from our local Chamber of Commerce of about all things, a business leadership class. Thats when, just like turning a tape off, I don't have any recollection of what happened. It's called a blackout. I don't remember leaving the facility, getting in my Ford Explorer and heading home. Apparently I was almost home when I crossed the center line and sideswiped a full size Dodge truck. Belive it or not I completed my drive home with one PISSED OFF man behind me. Thank God neither of us was injured. My wife was able to stop him from beating the hell out of me..which I would have deserved. But a short time later the South Carolina Highway Patrol arrived and arrested me. I was taken to a station and had to take a breath test at which I blew .16 which is double the legal limit in South Carolina. Mind you I don't have ANY recollection of any of this until bits and pieces later when I was in jail. To make a long story short I could have been convicted of DUI, Hit and Run and Leaving the Scene of an Accident but my attorney was able to get the prosecutor and the man I hit to agree to just DUI.
Let me tell you about the emotional toll you go through. First by the grace of God I have a wonderful wife that has never said one negative word about what happened. When I got of jail the next day she hugged me and said "we'll get through this together." But you feel like S..T knowing you let her down. My own daughter saw her Daddy arrested and it's still something she dosen't want to talk to me about. You lie awake at night months before your case comes to jury trial wondering what will happen. How will you pay your bills, how will you pay your mortgage (if you have one). Will you loose your job? And then there's the "what if's" What if he had been killed? What If I have been killed or both of us. How would our families have survived. Then when you watch the news and hear of a drunk driving death it sickens you in a way most people can never understand because you know..I mean you REALLY know the drunk driver that took someones life could just have easily been you. On December 31st 2006 a drunk driver ran a stop light here in Myrtle Beach and took the life of two beautiful young ladies who were the ONLY children of their respective families. I became physically ill when I heard about it realizing again that driver could have been me.
Then there's the legal side. Loosing your license. Getting a temporary one. Going through classes once a week for two months with three hour sessions each time. Having to go back and take all the exams as though you never had a license and praying you will pass. In the meantime you still struggle with the guilt, anger and loss of self confidence.
Then there's the financial side. I won't break it down for you but when I make my last SR-22 insurance payment in December of 2010 and include the fines, bail, attorneys fees and classes one night of "free drinks" will have COST ME over $13,000.00. That's right THIRTEEN THOUSAND!!
Now I said all that to say this..some of you reading this right now are saying to yourself
mentally.."Man I hate the happened to Hammer BUT that will NEVER happen to me." Well I am here to get a little IN YOUR FACE and tell you if you thats what you think you are a damn fool and YES IT WILL. Not that I want it to but brothers and sisters I have been there. I said the same thing...remember what I said about the idiot? I'm not writing this to be mean or judgemental against anyone who drinks. I still have a beer or two but at home. But you don't want to go through the self imposed hell I went through. Remember tonight the person you are following or coming at you in the opposite direction may be a father, mother, son or daughter. They are LOVED by someone. Do you really want it on your hands that you injured them or killed them? I was fortunate and I later found out the man I hit had a family set up identical to mine. We are the same age, and he is married with one daughter.
But I ask you not to drink and drive not only for your family, friends and others on the road but for yourself. It is a LONG, LONG road back from hating the guy in the mirror when this happens. My self confidence was shot but thanks to my faith, a loving wife and a loving God I have pretty much gained my self respect back. Thing is I did not have to go through all that. It was a choice I made and one many of you will make tonight.
So think about what Hammer has told you..at least consider it.. ok?
Thanks,
John..aka... Hammerdrill376
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Great post Hammer. Thanks for sharing. If just 1 person heeds your advice it will have been worth the time you took to post up some very personal stuff. Thanks again
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Bless you Hammer.
Im just glad I know that I will only be one block from home at a friends house and no driving will be involved. Even though your post was full of info, can I just add one thing. To those drivers who have not been drinking and are out there on the roads tonight, please be very cautious. This can be used anytime of the year. Always be cautious of the other drivers.
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Great Post Hammer! It's very true. When I was 11 My best friend lost his father to a drunk driver. He was orphaned at 11 years old. Since then i always swore to myself that if alcohol touches my lips i mean even a sip i don't drive. It's kept me safe and thousands of others. Thanks for a great post and let's hope it get's through to everyone who reads it.
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Awesome Hammer. I don't know if there has ever been a more timely or important post presented here. Thanks for having the courage to share that with all of us. Hopefully it will have an impact on anyone considering drinking and driving tonight or any night.
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Another great post by John..... He has told of us of probably his darkest moment so that we can all be reminded to do the right thing and be safe.
God Bless you John (Hammer)
And Happy New Year
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It takes a man to stand up and tell it like it is. Good for you John. Remember the new year won't mean a thing to you if you are dead.
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Excellent post ... and from the heart
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John, God bless you for your honesty and humility. I'm planning on staying home tonight, but I have family members who'll be out on the road. Hopefully, people will be extra cautious tonight.
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John I practice what your preaching. God bless for sharing a very troubling time in your life. I hope it gets through to someone.
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Bless your heart Hammer! O:O
I'm really glad I took the time to read this. 8)
I made a few phone calls and I'M gonna be the designated driver and make sure my friend's get their drunk butts home in one piece! :popo
After everyone is safe at home, and once I get settled in at my homefront....CC AND BEER TIME!!!!! $#*t
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Thanks for the post Hammer.
If it makes one person stop and think...it is worth the read.
Happy New Year
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Great post John. Happy New Year to you and your family !! O0
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hey hammer: that is an excellent post. happy new year & stay safe 2nite!
WARHAWK O0
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Bless your heart Hammer! O:O
I'm really glad I took the time to read this. 8)
I made a few phone calls and I'M gonna be the designated driver and make sure my friend's get their drunk butts home in one piece! :popo
After everyone is safe at home, and once I get settled in at my homefront....CC AND BEER TIME!!!!! $#*t
Believe me when I tell you when I read posts like this its worth that 13GRAND to me to potentially have been a part of saving someones elses life. Money can be replaced..but a life cannot. Great choice my friend..great choice.
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John, nice of you to share your very personal experience with your sly family.
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At a time when in Scotland our drink related social problems are spiralling out of control it is great to hear John tell his story. I only wish there were more people like you willing to do so. Scotlands image of beautiful scenery etc is being destroyed by the cycle of drink and violence that is engulfing our inner cities. Thank you John for telling your story You are very brave
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Thank you John for sharing this story. Now I would like to encourage anyone who has a drinking problem. I know that not everyone who has gotten drunk is automatically a alcoholic. But if you are not able to get by without drinking, please consider AA or Celebrate Recovery. Everyone knows about AA. But for those in this group who are Christians, Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered 12 Step recovery group, where Christ is the higher power. Many churches of different stripes have this program. It is for anyone who has hurts, habits or hangups. The website is: www.celebraterecovery.com . The most important thing is, that whatever group appeals to you, please get help!
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Great post... many people have made those trips driving home, not remembering how they did it. It is only the smart ones who 'clue in' how fortunate they were that nothing happened, and that such incidents should serve as a wake-up call to never let it happen again. If having a spouse, kids, or anyone who is dependent upon you isn't enough for you to make the right choice, just think how you would feel if you were the one to cause someone else to lose a loved one. Our brave bald brother Hammer experiences that in a way we never could every time it's reported in the news. thanks for sharing.
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Thats a great post...and soooo true. I have many friends of friends who take pleasure in telling everyone how they can "hold their liquor" and proceed to drive home severely buzzed and certainly well over the legal limit. Those same people get "beer muscles" and wind up writing a whole lot of checks that their bodies cant cash.
Alcohol gives you that false confidence into believing you are actually a better driver or a better fighter than you really are. Until you get into an accident or get your arse kicked you never realize just how misleading those feelings of confidence can be......again--great post.
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This is sorta related to this post, so I am going to go ahead and post it. For the first time in the last several years, This is the first Christmas/NewYears holiday that no one has been injured or killed in an automobile accident, in Washington Indiana. Maybe people are starting to wise up some.
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I really, really pray you are right Timm. While our local detention center posted 11 DUI arrests for New Years Eve/Day no injuries or deaths were reported.
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First off, what a great post, Hammer. Truly inspirational and timely - but it can also be used every day of the new year. Hammer, your words are powerful. I would suggest that you arrange to speak at some local high schools during the prom/graduation season. You pack a powerful message and as someone said before, if you save one life it is wonderful.
May God richly bless you.
One of our members mentioned in this thread that this was the first new year's eve that no one was arrested for DUI in his community. I wish we could say the same thing with my community. I am the Special District Judge in my county and my 1:30 docket this afternoon is full of DUI cases. I even received a call on New Years Day morning to set bond a DUI guy who fled police, got on the highway and was fleeing the police with his lights off - into oncoming traffic. By the grace of God, no one was injured but the possibilities are frightening.
Hammer, I am thankful for you that you learned from your experience and that no one was hurt other than your emotional and financial issues.
Please continue to share your story. There are so many folks who could learn from your experience. May you be blessed with a prosperous and happy 2009.
Sooner Steve
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SoonerSteve...not sure if you were talking about my post on no one being arrested or not? I mentioned that no one was Killed or there were no Accidents involving drunk drivers. I seen in the paper this morning that we only had 3 arrest for DUI's. Usually seems like the last 5 years or so someone has been killed or seriously injured on New Years Eve.
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Timm: I apologize for misreading your post. I guess I was just excited that some community may have finally realized the dangers of drinking/driving on new years eve and avoided all arrests. Thankfully no accidents or deaths in your community. Happy 2009 to you my friend.
Sooner Steve
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Its quit alright Steve, I wish I could have reported what you misread. I really do not think something like that will ever happen. There are always going to be someone out there ya know.
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Hammer, thank you for your post. Really hits close to home. My parents were both alcoholics. So many accidents, but fortunately no one was hurt. The property damage and lose of cash was enormous. Wish they could have read your post, perhaps just perhaps it would have hit home. Thanks again!