Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => Reactions to being Bald => Topic started by: Ghost1988 on December 16, 2008, 07:25:35 PM
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so tonight i was at the mall christmas shopping. and all was going well until i come home and my dads in a bad mood and he starts bitching about my shaved head. ive been shaving it for 6 months and just tonight he decides to bitch about it.
i walk in the door and this is how the conversation goes:
him-wth are you gonna grow your hair back? you just have a receding hairline its not that big of a deal.
me-i dont like how i look with hair.
him- wth are you talking about? your not gonna keep your hair like this forever are you?
me- i dunno, maybe ill grow it back when im older and i dont care about balding as much
him- you need to grow it back. you look like a skinhead and its embarassing.
what a great way to help my self esteem issue. its bad enough already getting used to the shaved head, and balding. i didn't need to hear him bitchin. thats just how he is though. he speaks his mind. it sure did piss me off though.
the first day i shaved my head the first thing he said was "grow your hair back! you look like an alien!"
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sadley some people are like that. I'm very sorry to hear that your dad does not understand your interest in being sly. My dad didn't understand along with all most all of my friends. This time around I don't think that he will go after me for shaving my head because I am doing it to support him. As I said in my intruduction my dad has cancer and will need to shave his head soon.
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hey dude
so sorry to hear that.. must be horrible. dont listen to your dad. i haven't yet shaved my hair yet but i can imagine reactions would be similar towards me, too. i am naturally thin and i just KNOW it wouldnt suit me being bald
tom
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How do you know it wouldnt suit you Tom, if you havent tried it. For those of you who are new to headshaving..Dont give up Man. Hang tough. I am telling you from experience, the first 2 months or so, are probably the worst in hell. After that you dotn even really think about having a slick noggin. I just go about my daily life like I always have.
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sorry to hear about that Ghost.
I kind of laughed as I read your story because that's almost the exact same thing my father tells me. I called my father yesterday saying I'm coming over tomorrow but I have a shaved head and he was confused. He told me that I'm crazy and that a bald head is ugly. :/O Man, it's to the point where I laugh at his stupidity. Of course I don't laugh when he's telling me that nonsense stuff but when I'm on my own I think about his stupidity and laugh.
You told me in another post that you are half persian, right? You know our parents from the middle east don't give a damn about their children's feelings. They will tell us exactlyl what comes up to their minds. It's ridiculous. I am in the same situation as you. I shouldn't hear my father tell me a shaved head looks ugly on me but hey that's a typical middle eastern parent. I think parents from north america are more considerate, and I sometimes wonder how much better life would be if I had a canadian or american father who would only think about raising my self-esteem. What can you do, stupid people shouldn't be parents.
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Move over here MathGuy...you can stay at my house. Besides my daughter needs help with her highschool algebra and stuff..lol
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That is really awful bro...
I hate when anyone tries to bring someone down when they are lovin' something..
DO NOT ever grow you hair in any style or any length..
unless that's what you want and what YOU like.
sorry bro..that was a low blow by pops to you!
Stay bald ..the look fits ya well! O0
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sorry to hear about that Ghost.
I kind of laughed as I read your story because that's almost the exact same thing my father tells me. I called my father yesterday saying I'm coming over tomorrow but I have a shaved head and he was confused. He told me that I'm crazy and that a bald head is ugly. :/O Man, it's to the point where I laugh at his stupidity. Of course I don't laugh when he's telling me that nonsense stuff but when I'm on my own I think about his stupidity and laugh.
You told me in another post that you are half persian, right? You know our parents from the middle east don't give a damn about their children's feelings. They will tell us exactlyl what comes up to their minds. It's ridiculous. I am in the same situation as you. I shouldn't hear my father tell me a shaved head looks ugly on me but hey that's a typical middle eastern parent. I think parents from north america are more considerate, and I sometimes wonder how much better life would be if I had a canadian or american father who would only think about raising my self-esteem. What can you do, stupid people shouldn't be parents.
lol our dads are the same. the difference between me and you is im only half though so i dont get along with my dad AT ALL. i was raised by my american mom so im more american than middle eastern. hes constantly putting me down and stressing me out so im usually not happy, which leaves more time to be insecure about my balding. i honestly think i started balding in the first place from stress of living with him. i moved with him 3 years ago and thats the time i started losing it. but who knows?
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TimmJ I would love to be there. It would be an honour. You don't know how annoying it is to be around a father who thinks it's ok to tell his kids exactly how he feels simply because he is their father. lol stupid mentality.
And hey Ghost, I think the way you should look at it is you will not always live with him. I live away from my family now due to graduate studies and I love the fact that I don't have to deal with my father's stupid mentality. I will visit them tomorrow for 17 days, so yeah I have to get ready for that again. But I will be back in january on my own away from my father.
But yeah here is the part that just bugs me..................a son (i.e. me) finding peace when he is away from his father. Life shouldn't be like that. I think someone like Tim would be a great father that you would want to be around him to find peace, not away. And I really mean that Tim. You parents from North America are better with your kids. Well, you've got lucky kids there.
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TimmJ I would love to be there. It would be an honour. You don't know how annoying it is to be around a father who thinks it's ok to tell his kids exactly how he feels simply because he is their father. lol stupid mentality.
And hey Ghost, I think the way you should look at it is you will not always live with him. I live away from my family now due to graduate studies and I love the fact that I don't have to deal with my father's stupid mentality. I will visit them tomorrow for 17 days, so yeah I have to get ready for that again. But I will be back in january on my own away from my father.
But yeah here is the part that just bugs me..................a son (i.e. me) finding peace when he is away from his father. Life shouldn't be like that. I think someone like Tim would be a great father that you would want to be around him to find peace, not away. And I really mean that Tim. You parents from North America are better with your kids. Well, you've got lucky kids there.
exactly! thats how it is with my mom. me and her are really close. and when i stay at her house im calm, stress free, and happy with no worries. shes american and shes the EXACT opposite of my dad. its almost like 2 different worlds. im going there on friday for a week so i cant wait.
o ya and she loves my bald head haha. she compliments it all the time. my dad just puts me down.
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Guys, all I have to say is that you're over 18 and therefore you're old enough to make your own decisions. It's hard to win parents over to the sly look -- no matter how old you are. It's just a fact of life. However, if you stick to your guns, in the end you will win. Eventually the nagging and the negative comments do stop. Trust me. Be respectful to your parents but stand your ground.
Rightly or wrongly, a lot of our self-esteem is intertwined with how we look. To the extent that we can control how we look, each of us has to do what we must to make ourselves happy. Don't ever let anyone dictate to you how you should look, with the caveat that some concessions may have to be made if you have extreme tastes and want to remain employable. For years I felt that I was expected to look a certain way. Nobody ever said it, it was something that was unspoken, but that expectation was definitely there. I couldn't shave my head or grow a beard because that wasn't how I was supposed to look.
I cared too much about what everybody else thought and not enough about what I thought. Eventually there came a point when I just decided that enough was enough and that I was going to do what I wanted for a change. I should have come to that realization a lot earlier in life than I did. You guys have a huge advantage in that respect; you've gotten to this point at a much younger age than I did. In the end, you'll have more self respect, as well as the respect of others, if you have the confidence and fortitude to make your own decisions and stick with them. Hang in there, guys. It does get easier.
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Ghost and Math Guy,
I am sorry to hear the troubling relationship with your Dads. It could be a cultural influence that they were raised by or I even thought maybe they in some way they feel guilty about the MPB you have. Could also be they are just a$$holes, but they say everyone has one.
You are both young adults, making decisions in your life and how you want to be perceived. I applaud you for that and hope/believe my son will do the same if I don't kill em before he completes high school.
Maybe in this time of year, if you celebrate the holidays and are asked by your fathers what type of gift you are interested in from them, simply ask that they respect your decision in your look whether they agree or not.
You both seem stand-up guys from what I have seen in post, I hope your dads wake up and see that!
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Sorry to hear about that, Ghost.
There have been some very insightful replies. Without getting all tree-hugger on everybody, just wanted to say this is a great place with even better advice, and i'm glad to be a part of it.
Hopefully some of their advice helps you out. Good luck.
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hey ghost: sorry 2 hear 'bout your dad's negativity. U were born 2 wear the chrome dome & i hope that your dad will learn 2 adapt 2 your new look. just wondering... have U spoken 2 your dad about your love 4 headshaving? have U asked your mom 2 speak 2 your dad about just being "silent" & NOT SAY ANY negative things about your bald dome? i hope that it gets better 4 U. take care & keep us posted.
WARHAWK O0
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hes usually fine and doesnt even say anything about it. it seems he only says negative things when hes in a bad mood or pissed at me. then he insults my head.
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hes usually fine and doesnt even say anything about it. it seems he only says negative things when hes in a bad mood or pissed at me. then he insults my head.
Just ignore the negative comments and change the subject. You have the power here, not him.
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come on, some of us older guys have to reflect on the fact that say 20 years ago we were hearing "i cant believe the legnth of your hair! arent you EVER going to get a hair cut, that shits hanging down over your collar , its DISGUSTING !"
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come on, some of us older guys have to reflect on the fact that say 20 years ago we were hearing "i cant believe the legnth of your hair! arent you EVER going to get a hair cut, that sh*ts hanging down over your collar , its DISGUSTING !"
LOL....Never happened to me because I never had long hair, but it brings back memories of my parents and my little brother who is now 51. They use to get on him something fierce about his long hair in the 70's and I would LMAO..... ;D
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Ghost
that sucks man, I often get the impression that my dad wishes i would grow my hair too, but has never said anything becuase I'm 22 and he knows that he has no say in the matter. I guess I am lucky, i have an uncle that shves his head, so I have some family support.
but hang in there, i think it takes longer for others to get used than it does even for ourselves. maybe.
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I arrived at my parents' house yesterday. My sisters (ages 13,16, and 21) said the shaved head looks really good on me. My mother hasn't really commented, and surprisingly my father hasn't said anything negative.
So far things are good.
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Ghost,
Sorry to hear about your bad encounter with your dad. It almost seems like he's picking at you having your head shaved, because he can't find anything else to pick at. Wait till he has to shave his and try out the same crap he's pulling on you then ask him how it feels.
My dad had cancer not long ago and his personality changed, he would find anything to freak out about. Just let it roll off your shoulders man. I've never had or hope to get cancer but I have a feeling it would be pretty scary. Was he always like this or just recently?
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so tonight i was at the mall christmas shopping. and all was going well until i come home and my dads in a bad mood and he starts bitching about my shaved head. ive been shaving it for 6 months and just tonight he decides to bitch about it.
i walk in the door and this is how the conversation goes:
him-wth are you gonna grow your hair back? you just have a receding hairline its not that big of a deal.
me-i dont like how i look with hair.
him- wth are you talking about? your not gonna keep your hair like this forever are you?
me- i dunno, maybe ill grow it back when im older and i dont care about balding as much
him- you need to grow it back. you look like a skinhead and its embarassing.
what a great way to help my self esteem issue. its bad enough already getting used to the shaved head, and balding. i didn't need to hear him bitchin. thats just how he is though. he speaks his mind. it sure did piss me off though.
the first day i shaved my head the first thing he said was "grow your hair back! you look like an alien!"
There's a book out that's called Boundaries. It's by a couple of guys named Cloud and Townsend. (If you don't happen to be particularly religious, ignore the fact that the book was written by a couple of Christian psychologists). I think that the book can be helpful to anyone who's struggling to be able to establish firm boundaries in any relationship.
I look at it this way, people who love me are going to love me with or without hair, with or without purple hair, with or without piercings, etc. If they can't accept me as I am, then it's their problem. Sorry to hear that you had to go through that.
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sorry to hear about that Ghost.
I kind of laughed as I read your story because that's almost the exact same thing my father tells me. I called my father yesterday saying I'm coming over tomorrow but I have a shaved head and he was confused. He told me that I'm crazy and that a bald head is ugly. :/O Man, it's to the point where I laugh at his stupidity. Of course I don't laugh when he's telling me that nonsense stuff but when I'm on my own I think about his stupidity and laugh.
You told me in another post that you are half persian, right? You know our parents from the middle east don't give a damn about their children's feelings. They will tell us exactlyl what comes up to their minds. It's ridiculous. I am in the same situation as you. I shouldn't hear my father tell me a shaved head looks ugly on me but hey that's a typical middle eastern parent. I think parents from north america are more considerate, and I sometimes wonder how much better life would be if I had a canadian or american father who would only think about raising my self-esteem. What can you do, stupid people shouldn't be parents.
Actually, I'm 100% Middle Eastern, and my family has been Christian for centuries. My dad's fine with the fact that I have a shaved head and a septum (bull nose) piercing. I guess I've been blessed.
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for some reason my dad decided he would voice his opinion to me as well. He and my mother came to my work for dinner so I sat with them and out of no where he says.... " so why did you do that... its a little short don't you think" like.. ive been at a bare clipper for over 2 years and i decide to shave it all and he flips... now im not sayin he really put me down or beat me or anything but i like to make him proud and it was just kind of a low blow.. he hates when i "stand out".. oh well i bought him dinner hoping he will forget about it and my head will tan a bit before he brings it up again.
cheers
J.
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I have been shaving my head off and on for about 11 years. Mostly shaved with some periods of growing it back. But I was 36 when I first really started to shave my head. My dad, who had really thinning hair said, "Marshall...looks like hell". My stepmom initially cried and said, "But Marshall, you're a Christian....could you please grow it back?" My stepmom thought that having a shaved head was not a good example of being a Christian. She was part of the reason I started Christian Chromedomes group on Yahoo!
My dad is passed away now. But despite the comments, I know that he loved me and that my stepmom still does love me. The comments ended when they saw that I wasn't going to go back to having hair. I had grown hair back from time to time in the past. Initially it was due to pressure. A couple of times, I grew it back BECAUSE I WANTED TO!!! That is the time that one should grow their hair back is because they wanted to! But I will probably not do that at this point, because in my experience, when I went sly again, I get questions and comments!
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hey dude
so sorry to hear that.. must be horrible. dont listen to your dad. i haven't yet shaved my hair yet but i can imagine reactions would be similar towards me, too. i am naturally thin and i just KNOW it wouldnt suit me being bald
tom
Hey, I'm thin too and reckon it looks pretty good on me. I guess we all thought it wouldn't suit us or that we didn't have the right head shape, I was definitely one of those. In the end I'm very much happy with it
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hey dude
so sorry to hear that.. must be horrible. dont listen to your dad. i haven't yet shaved my hair yet but i can imagine reactions would be similar towards me, too. i am naturally thin and i just KNOW it wouldnt suit me being bald
tom
Hey, I'm thin too and reckon it looks pretty good on me. I guess we all thought it wouldn't suit us or that we didn't have the right head shape, I was definitely one of those. In the end I'm very much happy with it
I also am thin and have been told that sly suits me. I am very happy with my new sly look. Sorry to hear you had to go through that Ghost. Keep it sly and use the guys in here for support whenever you need us (beleive me, they are the BEST)
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hey dude
so sorry to hear that.. must be horrible. dont listen to your dad. i haven't yet shaved my hair yet but i can imagine reactions would be similar towards me, too. i am naturally thin and i just KNOW it wouldnt suit me being bald
tom
Hey, I'm thin too and reckon it looks pretty good on me. I guess we all thought it wouldn't suit us or that we didn't have the right head shape, I was definitely one of those. In the end I'm very much happy with it
I also am thin and have been told that sly suits me. I am very happy with my new sly look. Sorry to hear you had to go through that Ghost. Keep it sly and use the guys in here for support whenever you need us (beleive me, they are the BEST)
I too, am on the thin side, although I do have muscle-tone from working out, just have always been kinda skinny, I have a small frame I guess.
as far as head shape goes mine is ok, I am more concerned about my facial structure
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Ghost, dude, sorry to hear about the negativity! Remember you will never please everyone, if its not your head, it will be the way you dress and if its not that, it will be something else!!
If you are happy in yourself that is all that matters, I know that sounds like a very narrow minded approach but confidence in yourself is worth all the money in the world!!
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It's the opposite for me. My dad could care less and has defended my shaved head from time to time, but my mom is the one that constantly complains. Says my head is too lumpy. :/O
Greg
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Snowpeck... can't see any lumps from here. Keep it up, and kudos to your dad.
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Tell Him To Screw Off LOL
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Your dome looks good Ghost. Just brush off the hatas.
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Your dome looks good Ghost. Just brush off the hatas.
"Clap Clap" There Ya Go! Tell Them Hata's To Keep It Steppin'!
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Rough world we live in eh? I don't understand why being bald is considered embarrassing to some people. I'm surprised my parents haven't attacked my head yet, I'm sure it will come soon enough.
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lol i have the same problem dont know what to do