Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: Reykjavik on November 30, 2008, 06:15:31 PM
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Hey guys,
Long story short, I am a 20 year old with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and my new obsession has been my hair. My hairline has always been crap. I never really thought much about balding and just sort of figured "hey this is how my hair is". Recently a round spot receded at the front of my hairline and that all changed. If you have or know someone with OCD you are probably aware of how much it sucks with this sort of thing...
My obsessions revolved around a fear of the spot growing and taking over. That I wouldn't look sly like you guys and that women would look the other way. Rationally, both grandparents had a full head of hair, bad hairlines run in my family, tugging at my hair rarely pulls one loose (besides while showering), and hair stylists still offer to thin my hair. None of that helps.
The bottom line is the only way to conquer a fear is to face it, and as soon as my relatives leave on Christmas night I'm going to become sly. I'm afraid of what I'm going to find under this hair. My head is really long and narrow, and my eyebrows are are probably going to become even more prominent. Which is why I'm waiting until after my relatives leave on Christmas.
So, I figured I'd ask you guys what was it like when you first looked at your newly shaved head? And was it better/worse than you expected? Or if you have any advice for me.
Oh, and attached are two pictures. One of my current hair (I had to draw some slyness in, due to my lack thereof) and the dot that receded.
Sorry for the long post.
This is all pretty embarrassing for me.
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lol stop being silly, your hair is fine.
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Hiya willBslyoncemore,
things might seem kind of silly, but I struggle with this sort of thing a lot. I have had some unrelated incidents that in comparison make this seem like the farthest thing from silly. So, just bare with me here. I'm hoping after I see shaving it all off isn't so bad I will bury this all.
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Don't be surprised if you start obsessing over your head size, texture, and color of your scalp :p. But by all means if you feel that shaving your head will make things better then go for it.
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So, I figured I'd ask you guys what was it like when you first looked at your newly shaved head? And was it better/worse than you expected? Or if you have any advice for me.
I tried to lower the shock value by clipping my hair with different numbers. First I buzzed with a #3, then I looked at myself for a minute. After that I went to a #2, then a #1, then no guard, and finally I used a razor. Its strange but even from no guard to using a razor blade makes a big difference. But my shock value wasn't extreme, I just looked at my new bald head and that was it. What I really was afraid of was walking out of my bathroom and showing my mom and brother. They didn't know I was going to shave my head. When my mom saw me bald she yelled, "OMG YOU SHAVED YOUR HEAD!" but she said it with a smile on her face and it wasn't that big of a deal to her. My brother chuckled when he saw me, but thats because he is a douche bag. Anyways, the family members on my dad's side gave me trouble about my new look. They hated it... so, if you do take the plunge, prepare to get negative reactions. I even had some coworkers call me a skinhead (they were joking with me, but it still hurt).
Anyways, we can't tell you if you will look good or not with no hair because you have too much hair on your head! Try buzzing your head and we will be able to give you an opinion on it. I see no problem with your hair and hairline and you are a good looking guy.
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I really appreciate you taking the time to fill me in.
That sounds like a good piece of advice rather than just diving in and cutting it all off.
We'll see if I chicken out and end up with some sort of buzz.
I'll be sure to post whatever ends up going down.
My mom is aware of this whole ordeal and I talked her into it. She wants me to see my GP first though, to see what he says about my hair since she's convinces the spot is from my cowlick. I am expecting a lot of negative feedback after its shaved, which will be a trial of my self-confidence...but hey, what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger...I hope?
Thanks again!
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I really appreciate you taking the time to fill me in.
That sounds like a good piece of advice rather than just diving in and cutting it all off.
We'll see if I chicken out and end up with some sort of buzz.
I'll be sure to post whatever ends up going down.
My mom is aware of this whole ordeal and I talked her into it. She wants me to see my GP first though, to see what he says about my hair since she's convinces the spot is from my cowlick. I am expecting a lot of negative feedback after its shaved, which will be a trial of my self-confidence...but hey, what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger...I hope?
Thanks again!
I think going sly is a bit extreme in your situation. Since you have dark hair, I think a buzz will look really good on you.
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm1.static.flickr.com%2F86%2F274334130_89ae96b0dc.jpg%3Fv%3D0&hash=3a4b98d69f16930d0730d4316a9a1cd35b285d37)
Its nice, clean, and you won't have to worry about burning your scalp or getting color on your head. I would cut it down to this length first and then go bald if you're still unhappy.
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Welcome Reykjavik. If you search out some of the other posts you will find that you are not alone in having the compulsion to shave it down. Once the idea gets in your head it is hard to shake. If this is something you want to do then go for it. The idea of taking it down in stages has worked well for many of the guys, but they too eventually gave in and shaved it right down. Best of luck
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Welcome Ray,
I gotta say your artwork on the first pic cracks me up ;D
Look, Sly is not about being bald, its about being confident in who you are and your appearance.
If your only worry is the small area in the front you can cover that with bangs,,, just a thought.
But, There are a few BBC (Bald By Choice) guys here that can grow their hair back anytime. Its a decision only you can make, but if your compulsing over it then I would say to definitely change it.
I would go the clipper route and then see how you like it. Bald will still give you a different look from just clippered, so just make the decision once you get there.
Keep us posted and good luck.
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Welcome to SBG bro !! O0
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Welcome to the Forum Rey!
Does anybody else think that it's kind of ironic that Rey is getting the most advice from one of our biggest "obsessors"?
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Welcome Rey! Like others have said, it sounds like a buzz down would be the best way to go. That will give you a good idea of how it will look and also will give you some insight as to your head's shape.
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Go with what you think is best for you, but looking at the pictures, it don't look like (to me now) that you have too much of a hair problem. You can always grow it out again if you don't like it. O0
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Thanks for all of the support and suggestions guys.
You're a great bunch.
I just got back from the doctors (for a physical) and, well, he says I have mpb :-[
I thought I'd handle this better, but I'm actually really upset.
My head forehead is just too large to go bald...
I'm really scared about all of this. I mean, I know its just hair and that it doesn't define who I am...but I am afraid of what this means for future relationships. I am just recovering from a few years of agoraphobia, and I feel like I'm finally able to put myself out there - but now this pops up and halts things even more.
Tomorrow I'm going to buzz things down and see what happens...
Sorry for all of the moaning.
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Thanks for all of the support and suggestions guys.
You're a great bunch.
I just got back from the doctors (for a physical) and, well, he says I have mpb :-[
I thought I'd handle this better, but I'm actually really upset.
My head forehead is just too large to go bald...
I'm really scared about all of this. I mean, I know its just hair and that it doesn't define who I am...but I am afraid of what this means for future relationships. I am just recovering from a few years of agoraphobia, and I feel like I'm finally able to put myself out there - but now this pops up and halts things even more.
Tomorrow I'm going to buzz things down and see what happens...
Sorry for all of the moaning.
Women are much less shallow than we are. Just be confident (fake it if you got to), friendly, a fun/positive person to be around, and ultimately have some goals in life and they will like you a lot.
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Look at the title of this thread - "Slyness is on my Christmas list". The slyness has to come from within you; nobody can give it to you. The first step is to accept the situation and decide how you're going to deal with it. Buzzing your hair down to a short length is a good first step.
I won't lie and say that it isn't a big adjustment, because it is, but trust me, it isn't that bad. It may take some time but one day you will realize that. If it's any consolation, you still have plenty of hair and it will be a long time before it's anywhere near gone. If you buzz it now, you can keep it that way for the next few years, unless you really want to shave. Keeping it buzzed is lower maintenance, and will make the thinning less obvious.
So chin up; you're getting what you asked for. ;)
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willBslyoncemore, you're right. Thanks, you've been really helpful.
RazorX, I agree on many levels. I will have to work really hard at being sly and having confidence in my new look. Tomorrow I'm buzzing it off. I'm not going to wait for Christmas. Earlier today I was okay with the whole thing. After all, I did ask for slyness and plan on shaving it off anyway. Its just when the doctor told me this it hit reality and I didn't deal with it as well as I thought I would have.
I sound like I was just diagnosed with cancer or something. I'm a really weak person though, so this sort of thing takes a toll. I have therapy tomorrow and I am going to talk to her about all of this. Hopefully she can help me put things in perspective.
Maybe working on my body and developing other physical areas will help me with my confidence, in conjunction with working on all of the mental areas of course.
Tomorrow I'll post pictures of the results.....I am really hoping its not as bad as I think itll be.
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You're not weak. You're much stronger than you think you are -- and that's really the whole point of dealing with the hair loss proactively. It's both liberating and empowering to actually go through with it. It's scary to do, and it's something you think you'll never be able to do. So when you do go through with it, there's a real sense of accomplishment.
Just focus on the haircut and do it as soon as possible so you don't have time to talk yourself out of it. How short are you going to go?
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One quick comment...
a large forehead will disappear when you shave your head smooth...
I should know I had a huge forehead...
now it's just pristine, smooth skin without a hint of hair (when i can get it perfect ;))..
don't sweat it so much bro...
a lot of people are bald in this world...
by THEIR choice!
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So, I figured I'd ask you guys what was it like when you first looked at your newly shaved head? And was it better/worse than you expected? Or if you have any advice for me.
I started shaving at the end of August of this year. I have to tell you, when I first looked at myself I didn't like it. It was too big of a change. But I was on this site as lurker and I would constantly look back at Razon's recommendation to "give it 30 days". So I did that. It took me about 45 days to like my new looks. You have to give it time. Now, I love my looks and it's nice that I don't have to worry about thin hair, all the dandruff, oil, etc. So annoying. Any advice for you? Yes, my advice is to follow what the other great guys here tell you. Do what they recommend and you will end up being happy. Best wishes to you.
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I also had a huge forehead, and it did seem to vanish when i shaved. Try buzzing it down: maybe you'll like it. 8)
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I don't have OCD, but I know those that do. I think the first thing you should do is work with that issue before you make any other decisions.
First, understand that people do not care about your looks as much as you do. They may say comments, but honestly, it's something they're doing to either fill the time, or to pique their curiosity. After that, they're done thinking about it, and unfortunately in some cases you're left thinking about it constantly. I'd try to take a moment and realize that you and me are little specs of sand in an endless beach. Our appearance has no effect on the orbit of the earth. (sorry for the strange analogies.. lol)
Take some time to relax, and if you feel like buzzing your head, then go for it. Do it out of FUN, not desperation.
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Welcome to the Forum Rey!
Does anybody else think that it's kind of ironic that Rey is getting the most advice from one of our biggest "obsessors"?
The irony of that hadnt gone unnoticed buddy
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Welcome to the Forum Rey!
Does anybody else think that it's kind of ironic that Rey is getting the most advice from one of our biggest "obsessors"?
The irony of that hadnt gone unnoticed buddy
agreed
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You guys are great, really appreciate all of your support. This morning I woke up still miserable and obsessing. I didn't get a chance to check this post for all of your advice. My mother and I were sitting down the breakfast and I told her that I didn't want to wait until Christmas to shave it all off, and with some talking she offered to do it for me.
Through the whole thing she was telling me what a moron me and the doctor were. Midway into it she stopped and said "its your cowlick you idiot'. I have a cowlick in the front of my head and the area I was seeing that I figured receded was actually where the swirl was. My hairline is pretty much the same as it was in the 8th grade. So its possible that I am not balding.
Anyway, I didn't shave it down. I went shorter than I ever have though...I feel really self conscious like this, but it could be worse. I might go even shorter in the future to see what happens...
So...attached is basically what I look like right now. Facial hair is still growing in. My head looks huuuuuugeee. Someday when I shave it fully I am wondering if you guys are right and it'll demphasize my forehead.
I'm about to go see my therapist.
Thanks for being so supportive guys.
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Rey,
So your not going bald... great O0
But I have to say the clippered look is you. You look way more mature and if you smiled I am sure women would be all over you.
I don't see a huge forehead at all, and trust me the big hair days need to stay in the 80's. I think in some weird way you were led to this site to get a new appearance and maybe some confidence with it. Tis the season ya know.
I hope you can look at yourself in a different light, and I hope the therapist and your change can make your life more enjoyable. We only get one shot at this thing called life, and nothing really matters except being happy with who you are.
Be strong and keep us posted on your way to Slyness... you just started your journey 8)
PS.... you can be sly with a full head of hair, and you don't have to shave to be a part of the brotherhood ;)
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Women are much less shallow than we are. Just be confident (fake it if you got to), friendly, a fun/positive person to be around, and ultimately have some goals in life and they will like you a lot.
You should take your own advice dog!
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Well Rey, I'm bald by choice and I like it. I've also got a truckload of psych and neuropsych problems as I posted on another forum. To wit: manic-depression, Tourette Syndrome, OCD. And I've said this to other members, also, that shaving my head gave me a feeling that I hadn't had in a long time. I felt stronger and more confident, though that said, you don't have to shave your head to elicit a psychological change, but for me, having to stop work because of the manic-depression, shaving my head rebooted my soul, so to speak. And right after doing it, I got a week long temp work assignment, which I was able to complete and the money sure was welcomed! Breath slowly and deeply and repeat these words that was my father's mantra: "It's all b******t(bs in case it didn't come through clearly, lol). 8)
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After I posted, this came to me: Don't live inside your head for too long; it isn't healthy. Easy for me to say because I'm a lot older than you and have lived through angst, anxiety, uncertainty, and insecurity. All of it fades as you get older and you become more relaxed, accepting and unfazed but get a jump on it and start thinking differently. Not necessarily easy but change can only come from within, not without. In my case, flipping out and being in a psych unit for seven months was a definite game changer. For me, it was like dying and being reborn but you don't have to go crazy to change, lol.