Sly Bald Guys Forum
Various Non-Bald Discussions => General Discussion => Topic started by: Mikekoz13 on September 26, 2008, 10:14:52 PM
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Kind of a scary evening here.
My 11 year old son went to a birthday party for a girl in his class. We didn't know the parents that well but let them take him to Chuck E. Cheese along with the other kids. Now we've met the parents a few times and spoken to them on the phone several other times. I checked them out thru people around town (advantage of living in a small town). We went to their house, went in and talked to the parents at length.
We were comfortable letting him go because we know 100% for a fact that these people were just investigated by the state police so that they could foster parent three brothers/sisters. (State law here in PA.)
So off he went with them at about 4:30 this afternoon. They told us they would have him home by 9:00PM. We gave them our home phone number and our cell number on a sheet of paper.
So at 9:30 he still wasn't home and no phone call and my wife was getting pretty nervous. By 10:00PM I was pissed....still no phone call. By 10:30 my wife was in tears and I was furious.....STIll no call.
At 10:45 I called the local Police.
The weather in the entire area tonight is foggy with thunderstorms. By the time the police arrived at 11:00 my wife was actually frantic and my neighbor had to get her settled down.
The police took some info and left to go to these peoples' house to make sure nobody was there (I had called three times with no answer). The one officer told me to wait it out a bit longer since Chuck E Cheese closed at 10:00PM and it was about 40 minutes to get home from there.
At 11:20..... TWO HOURS AND 20 MINUTES LATE... these people pulled up. My son, their two kids, and the three kids they are fostering (my son is friends with two of the foster kids). I looked closely at Kody to be sure he was OK then sent him in the house. I asked the father if I could talk to him for a minute and he got out of the car (I didn't want the kids to hear anything..... those three foster kids are from town and have been thru Hell you can't even imagine).
So I asked him why they didn't call and I reminded him they told us 9:00 not 11:20. He was kind of surprised I was pissed. No answer.... just a "Sorry". Now I never raised my voice but i wanted to punch this guy right in the fucking mouth.
Were the Mrs. and I unreasonable???? I don't think so but give me your opinion guys.
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hey koz: U & the wifey were NOT unreasonable at all. it just shows how much love U got 4 kody. i'm glad that U were able 2 control your anger & not get physical with that idiot. i'm just glad that kody was fine. did he have a good time?
WARHAWK O0
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Mel-
He had a great time. My wife kept hugging him and he knew something wasn't right but we didn't talk about it in front of him. My wife just told him we were really worried about him.
His response.... "Mommy, they're good people".
Everybody else has been in bed for about 45 minutes.... me, I'm winding down from the whole thing.
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I dont think you over reacted at all Mike. That was a good show on irresponsiblilty on their part. I am sure he was ok, but even just a quick phone call would have been nice. I would probably let him go again...but I would STRESS that if he tells you a certain time that he will be back at home that he had better hold to it or give you a phone call. I am sure they were all jsut having fun.
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He could have called. i agree with Timmy, the kids were probably having a ball and the parent just let them play.
He still could have called! I would have drove over there.
Good job holding your temper. That wouldn't have solved anything.
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You probably reacted as perfected as you could have.
I'd imagine there's more than one guy here that would have pitched a fit at those peoples stupidity. It definitly would have been difficult to keep your cool in a situation like that.
It would have been different if you had just told your kid to be home at 9 and he lost track of time, but jeeze if those two grown-ups lose track of time like that.... doesn't seem like that would be a good thing. I wonder if the state police checked their ability to keep track of time? :popo
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The two local officers that came out were very cool.... and very concerned. They didn't say it but I could see it on their faces. I was a little worried about calling them out after just a couple hours but they assured me over and over that I did the right thing.
They were this close to putting out a "BOLO" alert..... they stop every car matching the description of the vehicle in order to check for the child.
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I am not a parent, but I would have been concerned and pissed! Good job in maintaining composure. I am sure that a simple phone call asking permission to be late explaining about what was going on might have diffused the whole situation. But the other parents should have had more of a clue!
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Hey Mike I think you were totally justified in what you and your wife were feeling. They should have called you to let you know they were running late. I would wonder about you and your wife if you were NOT worried !! My kids are all grown but I know my wife and I would have reacted in the same way...
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Marsh you're exactly right. If they had called a little after 9:00 and said the kids were having fun we would have been fine with that....no problem.
Sometimes I just wonder what goes thru.... or doesn't go thru .....people's heads.
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Glad the episode ended without issue. Great to hear your son's comment on the parents.
However, I'm surprised the parent's only word was "sorry". I would think being 2+ hours late would warrant more of an explanation. I'm certain if the roles were reversed, he'd expect more from you.
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I am not a parent, but I would have been concerned and pissed! Good job in maintaining composure. I am sure that a simple phone call asking permission to be late explaining about what was going on might have diffused the whole situation. But the other parents should have had more of a clue!
Marsh is exactly right!
Mike, I'm glad Kody is fine and had a good time.
I'm really glad that you and Mrs. Koz made it through this without incident. As I've said before, being a Mom and Dad can be a tough job.
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As you said Mike, I don't know what some people are thinking. It is just beyond me. I would say that you exercised a great deal of control under very trying circumstances.
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First, I'm glad that Kody was alright and that it all ended in safe and peaceful manner. But I will tell you Mike that not calling when running late is a pet peeve of mine. I always have respect for other peoples time and alway call if, for whatever reason, I am running late. So, obviously, I EXPECT the same from others. Now some people would say that by holding others to my standards I will be disappointed, ney, pissed every time. If someone didn't call and also had my child...I would have done the same thing you did. Obviously, those parents didn't have any respect for your time or your trust.
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As a parent I would say......no..you were not unreasonable at all and the guys insensitivity to your concerns is absolutely astounding. I don't know I would have hit him but I would have thumped him reallllllllll hard on the forehead for being so stupid. :x!
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Koz, buddy... I think you showed remarkable restraint. O0 Had I been in your shoes, I probably would have dragged him out of his car through the window, and given him a sermon on why it's a good thing to have people's children back on time, and not to stress them and their wives...while bouncing his face off the hood of his car. My hat's off to you on this one.
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Thanks for all the words of support guys..... and also to the guys that PM'd me about this.
The Mom actually called and left us a mesage on our machine today apologizing and saying she would like to talk to us. That's a little better.
Here's what I feel bad about.... they are trying to adopt those three kids they are fostering. Those kids have had Hellish lives.....
Since I called the police last night I'm wondering if that will affect any chance of adoption for those three kids. I really believe they care for these kids because they have stood by them thru some tough times...... and these kids really need a home where people care.
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Mike, it's great that Kody is ok and the whole incident turned out alright. You showed remarkable composure by not decking the guy. I am glad that the wife has called and wants to clarify things with you and Mrs. Koz. Frankly though, that shows a total lack of responsibility on those two adults. They should have thought a moment and put themselves in your place and considered you feelings. While it is wonderful that they want to foster three very needy children, you DO have to wonder if they are going to be up to the task with the attitude they displayed last night.
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Mike, people nowadays are just plain inconsiderate. Those folks belong to the "I love me club". Kudos to you bro for having the constraint you had.
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As the parent of an 8 and 4 year old,,, NOT AT ALL OVER REACTING. Diminishing the chance of adopting? Look at it this way, you were concerned about YOUR child,, what if,, GOD forbid,, there was an accident,, everyone would wonder why you hadn't called when Kody was over due. If it does effect the adoption, it is the other folks fault not yours, but I doubt if it will.
Tom
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Look at it this way, you were concerned about YOUR child,, what if,, GOD forbid,, there was an accident,, everyone would wonder why you hadn't called when Kody was over due.
Tom
This was exactly my thought Tom.
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I'm not a parent, but I am pretty sure he would be counting his teeth.
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I'm not a parent, but I am pretty sure he would be counting his teeth.
i am a parent and can pretty much guarantee he would have had a mouthful of chiclets.
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wife getting nervous thirty freakin minutes after the return time? please. it seems that you guys were antsy about the situation to begin with.
should they have called? absolutely... but it was a birthday party, they were probably caught up in the moment and the kids were probably having a blast. your kid had fun and was returned safely, albeit a bit late. express your concern about the rudeness of not calling and let them apologize.
calling the police? give me a break.
not saying you shouldn't be concerned about your child, but contrary to chris hansen's belief not everyone is a child rapist. they were in a public place. for a birthday party.
like your kid said: they're good people.
i think you need to chill out
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wife getting nervous thirty freakin minutes after the return time? please. it seems that you guys were antsy about the situation to begin with.
should they have called? absolutely... but it was a birthday party, they were probably caught up in the moment and the kids were probably having a blast. your kid had fun and was returned safely, albeit a bit late. express your concern about the rudeness of not calling and let them apologize.
calling the police? give me a break.
not saying you shouldn't be concerned about your child, but contrary to chris hansen's belief not everyone is a child rapist. they were in a public place. for a birthday party.
like your kid said: they're good people.
i think you need to chill out
How many kids you have Jack?
We weren't antsy at all to begin with. Our son goes with friends often and we never worry about it.
And two and a half hours qualifies as more than a bit late. I stated earlier that a cal at 30 minutes or evn 45 minutes late....... and there wouldn't have been a problem.
Also, I never said I thought they did anything to my son..... I called the police because I was worried something happened to the whole group of them. Accident, broken down..... whatever.... out here in the country you could run off the road and not be found for hours and hours. As I stated previously... theweather was bad that night.
You seem to be in the minority here.
Oh yeah.... welcome to the Forum...... first impressions Jack, first impressions. Maybe you should chill out.
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Marsh you're exactly right. If they had called a little after 9:00 and said the kids were having fun we would have been fine with that....no problem.
Sometimes I just wonder what goes thru.... or doesn't go thru .....people's heads.
YEP...I would have been frantic AND furious beyond words, man.
That's one of the worst things you could put a parent through in a 2 hour period......ASSHOLES.
That's like something that would happen if you sent them out with irresponsible teenagers at the wheel......WHICH YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ALLOWED IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
No over-reaction whatsoever, Mike.
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You seem to be in the minority here.
Oh yeah.... welcome to the Forum...... first impressions Jack, first impressions. Maybe you should chill out.
yeah, I forgot that you guys tend to bully those who stand out from the crowd or express dissenting opinions. if you didn't think you may have overreacted, would you have made a post in the first place? sounds like you wanted a pat on the back -- sorry you didn't get one from me there boss
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Mike, I think you and your wife handled everything perfectly. The true example of loving parents. The other couple may be too, the fact that the other mother called to talk is a step in the right direction. Consideration for others goes a long way.
Max
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You seem to be in the minority here.
Oh yeah.... welcome to the Forum...... first impressions Jack, first impressions. Maybe you should chill out.
yeah, I forgot that you guys tend to bully those who stand out from the crowd or express dissenting opinions.
Sounds like you have been here before ??....I can't remember anyone getting bullied since I've been here....
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My wife would have been going mad.
I would have been less so. I would take no news as good news to start with. People are quick to contact if there is a problem. I would have been trying their home number and cell regularly. Once satisifed that I wasn't going to get an answer I'd have ridden over to where they were supposed to be.
I'm not sure I'd have been quite so self-controlled when they did arrive home.
I am notoriously bad for time keeping and keeping in touch with people, but work real hard to correct that when I'm looking after someone else's family. My son gets his Asperger's Syndrome from somewhere, and my wife says it isn't her.
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You seem to be in the minority here.
Oh yeah.... welcome to the Forum...... first impressions Jack, first impressions. Maybe you should chill out.
yeah, I forgot that you guys tend to bully those who stand out from the crowd or express dissenting opinions. if you didn't think you may have overreacted, would you have made a post in the first place? sounds like you wanted a pat on the back -- sorry you didn't get one from me there boss
So do you have any kids? You never answered. I'll bet not.
I didn't have a problem with the fact that you disagreed.... I had a problem with how you made your point. Telling someone to "chill out" in a case like this is in itself incendiary.
I don't look for pats on the back for anything I do in my life. And if you don't like it here because you think we bully, why come back under a different name?
At this point your posts in this thread are looking very "troll like" to me. So I won't be responding to you anymore....... that way there can be no accusations of bullying by me.
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Just for the record, I don't think you over-reacted at all, Mike. Only someone who had no love or care for their children could have acted any different. I'd even feel the same if someone older was kept out two and 1/2 hours later than they said. Its worrying because you care, and that makes you feel angry when someone has caused it. No way were you over-reacting - you were reacting naturally to a worrying situation. O0
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:popo
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*Takes a fire extinguisher to this thread* Help! Someone...anyone! We need to knock down these flames!!!! @nn!3
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nahhh...it will blow over. I realize people have their own opinions on issues. He has a right to voice it I guess, but I dont have time to sit and pick a person post to pieces and sort it out. Mike is only human and we all probably at one time or another has gotten really mad at someone and wanted to knock their teeth into the back of their head..but would we have really done it? I know I wouldn't, but not say I haven't ever said it..because I am sure I have said worse.
For one to come to a forum for entertainment, relaxation or knowledge, thats what he should expect to get, Not to come in here and have your post analyzed. If I wanted to do that I would go sit in an attorney's office, or contact CSI.
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OK ....jack...thanks for deleting said comment.